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I hate dogs and dog people annoy the shit out of me you think anonymity will keep you safe but when our paths cross you will meet my blade you mother of fucking honestly dogs aren't that great so you finally reveal yourselves prepare for death a bully team gave cupcakes to her tormentors then she revealed the secret ingredient was semen they had it coming opens up the condom with my teeth but just starts eating it hungry I've been following you for a while but this might be it so the boast about wanting to fuck the Starkist tuna wasn't a problem for you Marvel and DC heroes now exists but due to the amount of heroes crime is almost non-existent to the point superheroes compete to solve the smallest hood problems the Avengers and Justice League beat the shit out of me for jaywalking this girl wearing a Golgi apparatus game has any kind of elemental based fighting system me apply pokemons logic to be fair pokemons Element logic is rooted in normal logic yeah everyone knows the wrestlers biggest weaknesses are local pigeons have you ever tried punching a bird off what's his URL his IRL one like his name when you've been on the tumblr too long horses don't need limbs to play video games their brains are wired right into the main phone they fucking killed her in a horse accent no I'm fine what the fuck is a horse accent oh you know literally every skin and hair care professional in the world hot showers are really damaging me stepping out of the shower into a bathroom filled floor-to-ceiling with steam my skin glowing neon pink after I've scrubbed every inch of my body roar under boiling water interesting this is a cool out I can't believe there are people that are still in high school like it's literally 2018 how have you not grown up yet down are you perhaps some sort of idiot perhaps if you've ever wondered how legs are topped with fish here it is thousands of native fish are being dropped from an airplane video is from the Utah edition of Wildlife Resources this is so funny to me goodbye bitches that smart fish lady you have to be very careful not to jostle the goldfish then let him sit in the bag in the tank for an hour to let his temperature adjust to your tank and then carefully pour it into the water util fish official bombs away fuckers are you all ready for the hottest take on this website yet eighty-three is just oh wo on its side reblog me cowards fourth wall breaking game like undertale and d dlc that mess with the game's files and window don't go far enough I want games that border on malware if you get the wrong ending it sends your mutes to your boss but they're not the exact sound product men and women are biologically different if a woman where to for example use a razor marketed towards men she would skin herself for life because women's skin works different than men's skin men's shampoo turns woman to stone men's sunscreen catapults women into the Sun you'll still have brains lmao I took mine out years ago and replaced it with a small cardboard box filled with crystals and worms so I just ordered a pizza from Pizza Hut and I added some special instruction want your pizza cut into squares have another request let us know below cut pizza in a pentagram however when my pizza arrived I got this no Pizza Hut I'm afraid that's the Star of David hail Jehovah I don't have paranormal experiences I'm a paranormal experience life goal someone meeting me considers it an encounter clocked was it you I your crushes crush unrealistic blocked when you crinkle literally any bag and your cat comes running it's not fucking treats you piece of soft pity Alex are spit in my mouth from now on I'm going to greet all my friends like porn BOTS hello guy I'm here bro it's weekend join me in my gay heaven Simba I ran away from home Timur that's so sad Pumbaa play Hakuna Matata bull phase of PvP enable Darius just saw a lady pour chilli onto her pizza enchanting her weapon 2015 I got it be respectable and normal act seriously for people to take me seriously I shouldn't Gail out of line with my words either 2018 me with the megaphone on my porch pussy once a lady told me that if my plants are dying even when I'm caring for them correctly it means they're absorbing the curses my enemies are casting upon he so now when my plants randomly die wonder if they died protecting me what is this Y which is live in the forest blanket curse immunity desert which sees one tumbleweed holy shit Squad camping trip would be too real earnest 20-person 10 room tent I only got three friends you can't change the volume of the voice in your head fucking try there you it's impossible and it's really fucking with my mind someone hug me I can make it scream without getting louder help holy shit whispering is the same volume of shouting as loud as I can what have you done we think in concepts concepts have no volume because a thought is the loudest silence of all were there Socrates from now on I'm only accepting sexts in dr. Seuss rhyme for what are you up to his simple text said just eating cereal and laying in bed what if I was with you he responded with ease I guess I'd get more cereal if I please and that's when he said it that simpering lad that stupid response that makes all of us mad my mind filled with dread with a twist in my gut I picked up my phone and read ha ha and then what are you ready for some football very small voice for Boer sponsored note no absoultely not tumbler abs are getting increasingly incomprehensible yet relative oh yeah can I get a fucking of gangam style over one lmao ain't that the guy from Star Wars I have other questions you've heard of alphabet soup now get ready for times nu ramen I sent this to my mom and she got so mad at me she sent me an audio recording of her yelling do you take this for himself bitch can a man feel cute this is Korea this is Japanese this is Chinese they're different it all looks the same to me the morning dew perfectly captured my dog's erratic freedom run me alone man fuck math if you know a number fuck you there's a number in your URL space documentary in about 5 billion years our Sun will enter its red giant phase destroying Mercury Venus and possibly earth as well me knowing full well that there's no way I will be alive by there Jesus at last supper breaks bread this is my body for swine this is my blood opens jar of mayo Judas I'm gonna stop you right there the Venn diagram of things I find funny and reasons I'm going to hell is a circle for $1 wee lad 75 bees I'm skeptical that he could get intrigued that you may here I come slap slap slap slap slap slap slap I've never understood the stereotype that women are more likely to faint at blood I mean seriously what do you think we do every month they weren't supposed to know about the werewolf thing or come on guys that was a secret for a reason I guess we have to come clean about the cult sacrifices too huh well now we do Sandeen you're probably wondering what the hell's going on well if you're watching this I'm dead two people who don't watch the show he is the Archangel Gabriel he made a video will in case he died the video was a porno Don Featherston creator of the plastic lawn flamingos 1957 he looks exactly as you would picture the creator of plastic lawn flamingos to look touch the cow do it now is this a threat all those which cars contain a bitter ups n64 cards do not and Aston a great addition to any gamers diet there are so many things wrong with this and you kinda notice them in a particular order police officer did you know your car was going 110 miles an hour Chief Keith well it's a fast car that's why I bought it never forget this is sea glass but I'm definitely gonna Rita's forbidden gummies who needs punk rock when you can have punk cock that could be a very different picture I'm glad it wasn't thank god Teletubbies was made after the colored TV this looks so fucking terrifying my friend Rachel isn't ticklish whatsoever and when I asked her why she is and she told me one day I just chose not to be ticklish anymore and that's why I'm terrified to death of my friend Rachel I thought this was normal it's what I do also I chose to stop sneezing and I haven't for a couple years now these other people I fear today at work this moment are like 6 to 7 year old daughter came in and the little girl was throwing a huge fit the whole time because she didn't want some way and finally she stomps her foot and says if you don't take me to get waffles I'm going to tell grandma that you let daddy put his peepee in your mouth I almost walked out of the store and just went home because that was the end of everything he's made his choice as I was stepping into the elevator just now the person getting off was looking up and very bewildered and said sorry there's just like a sandwich and well there sure is the real lad feed him a cheeseburger through perfectly shaped mouth hole and he tells you a secret the secret is that he loves you there's a leak in the boat this actually makes me laugh so hard and it's not even funny to sane people I had a dream I was Nicki Minaj's stylist and we were picking out purses and she wanted to choose an ugly one and I told her straight up it was ugly and I was scared for a second but she thanked me for being real don't let the tiny wheel distract you from the fact that there's a chain across the passenger-side seat which I'm gonna assume is the seat belt who needs ghosts gone to your own house wonder around your own living room wailing and crying I do already ghosts hate me because I do their job for them Millennials killing the haunting industry do people actually put thought into zodiac posts or do people just randomly write down what soaked the signs are sounds like something an exfoliating citrus soap would say bill do is friendly I like Bindu here's some of you do wheezes is good round and fat friendly good green yellow smile soft special child Thanks I bet in 2,000 years they're gonna be digging up the rubble of our destroyed earth and they'll find a Nokia still on half battery I'm remodeling the kitchen and pulled the microwave off the wall he never gave up hope imagine using this shampoo in the shower and staring at Shrek's hazel eyes as he watches you in the nude mother Goose help by fallin glamorously and I can't get up all of the other manic winds look like they're so sick of his shirt god damn it Jer is at it again who remembers this I'd be on yellow and almost have a heart attack and some kids would get red and still not give a fuck I was always on green because my mama didn't play that shit she's beautiful who girls that's grammatically wrong am I supposed to take advice from someone who couldn't even spell grammatically correct youthful you absolute coward I will take your bones why is this making me laughter hard on it should when you make a beautiful snow mural and then take a nap with your bike me and the girls out on the town I'm the girl on the right sitting down because my feet hurt and my shoes are uncomfortable I think my favorite thing about chopped is the generic descriptions they come up with because they can't say brand names circular cream-filled chocolate cookies like no those are aureus Ted it's so great this one is my favorite tiny ice cream spheres Ted those other pin dots a graph of America's favorite Halloween candies one more reason to hate Texas hey guess who won the ugliest costume contest at school today his own fam inovative doorknob even doorknobs can be improved upon if a door is locked it should not be available to even try and open no you may not enter my room this doorknob says you're not even allowed to try this is my answer to privacy now I gave my grandma two dollars to get me an Arizona tea and a package of raises and she brought me the Sun gave me my money back this perfectly describes grandmas my grandma would have given me a five and throne and a new pair of shoes too I'm sorry I wasn't aware this was the god damn grandma Olympics I finished my Christmas list I can't wait 1 million dollars in cash boyfriend the souls of those who have displeased me this year another boyfriend in case my other one escapes money We Need to Talk this is really my favorite photo set on the Internet do not turn off your computer without doing this what on God's green earth does this fucking me what's the saddest meal you can think of cheesy PZ it takes only two to three seconds to become helpless in flowing grain crusted grain surface void illustration of grain engulfment hazard diagram of me succumbing to the grain honestly can't wait to get engulfed by crusted grain straight into the void come to find out study at 7:00 p.m. on October 2nd 2013 what the hell is going on come find out the new Nokia sick of my pathetic iPhone not being able to smash open nuts my family is stopping I won't ever trust anyone again no skittles are stickier M&Ms are harder releases a darker thanks candy side of tumblr naked fruit I feel like I wasn't supposed to see this if force doesn't work use more force agility zero critical chance zero strength 100 you cow belly let's go the monetization is dropping going to start the migration of top innovation and content creation and other supplies on the stator hand got inspiration to drop a new cake on top of your faces of mock interfaces a clock is still racing there's impatient long stories later not just escaped news robbed like to pay you to be praying thought she would make a toast all the Creator who want to get paid for the wholesome creation so take the advice of a God in the bank oh my god – says calvetti TV gets more traffic than a metropolis yes bitch

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