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The Island of Unmade Godzilla Movies – Fan Parody Animation


Yo, Godzilla! There’s an island straight ahead! … I think. Consider slowing down, perhaps? Godzilla! Shuddup! It’s gone into the forest,
now we’ll never find it! Dang, I really wanted to devour it! What was up with your stunt back there?! Are you retarded?! Considering that crash, I may well be. But lets not dwell on the past. This place… … somehow feels awfully familiar… … eeonk. Big whoopty doo, it’s another island. No, can’t you sense it? The feeling of unfulfilled promise, of being constricted by market concerns
and budget limitations. It’s a sensation I know well. But not in this concentration. What could survive in this permeating
aura of disappointment? Help, Rodan! Something spooked me! It looks like you, but faggier. Your observation is partially apt, Anguirus. For I am what Rodan might have been. Or is perhaps he what I could be? In a way, we could say that I am your father! Wow! This is the fastest I’ve ever disowned a relative. Holy Christ, well, you turned out to be
a bigger ass than expected! Probably just my personality rubbing off on him. So what’s the deal with this island? This is where associates you never met and
adversaries you never fought hang out. Such as the likes of… … Deutalios fish-rats… … ghoulish Ghostzillas… … and the Queen B*tch herself. Queen B*tch? Then I guess this must be Infant Island! Eh? Ehh? Eeeeeeehhh? Nah, just kidding.
I’d never call Mothra a ‘queen’. Ooooohh! I heard that! How about a straight answer? This, gentlemen, is the Island of Unmade Godzilla Movies! That’s a lot more specific than Monster Island. So what’s this place about? I, uh… … just told you… Sorry, never mind. It took me a moment to connect what
you said with what you meant because my brain’s the size of a marble. Also, it fell into Toho’s big pool some
forty years ago, and I haven’t found it since. So this is the home of obscure monster
cameos we wouldn’t recognize? More like this is where you get banished
before you had the chance to shine. All those messages never to be reinforced… … Thrills never to be had… … Drama that goes untold… … Even scrapped crossover events. Legend also has it that deep in the rainforest
haunted by Yoshimitsu Banno’s restless spirit… … over the raging falls of TriStar fanboy tears… … near Varan’s island resort that’s more
like his permanent residence… … there even exists a Godzilla movie that has global
mass appeal and is financially and critically viable to boot! Wow! But no one’s seen it because it’s on the same VHS as
A Space Godzilla, and none have survived that part yet. Huh. Which leads to the question: why aren’t all these
magnificent things out there for the world to enjoy? We can’t leave. Forces beyond
our reach are keeping us here. Even the strongest of us can’t
break free of the island’s bind. Doesn’t stop them trying, though. And what about you? I… have resigned myself to my sad fate here. Then you should be glad. What for? I’m blowing up this place. Wha–? No, not Mount Kinda-Sorta! That’s where the
Volcano Monsters kinda sorta live! Wait! You can’t just destroy this whole land! You realize who you’re talking to, right? Authorial freedom will be stifled no more! Stop it! What you’re doing is wrong! You deserve to be out there with the people! And the people deserve to see you. Isn’t that what you were whining about
just a minute ago? I was being overly dramatic. This island has legitimate reasons to exist. Then convince me while there’s still some of it left! Godzilla, listen! Shifting plans are part of every
commercially fueled creative venture! Something always gets lost before studios
find a combination of ideas they feel safe with. Playing things safe invites brand stagnation. There’s a middle ground, you should know that best! I thought you’re supposed to represent balance. A warning against human recklessness. Right, boys? Like… are you two going to fight? No. Nice followers. Don’t you think you’re being reckless right now? Believe me, some of the things kept on this island…
They’d spell doom to your franchise if they ever got out! If film makers could do whatever they wanted,
with no foresight or any second or third opinions, then you might well have become an octopus,
or who even knows what. It’s not on us to decide who gets to make it in the industry. And even the studios that rule over us are governed
by the higher mights of the market. I… … concede. You made the right call. After you made a horrible one. Sometimes I’m susceptible to reason. Top lamest Godzilla defeat EVER! Besides… … this is just a metaphorical island. Destroying it wouldn’t change anything, the same way that destroying you in the
original movie didn’t stop the nuclear arms race. I guess you’re right. Still, though, I’m not fully convinced. I’ve yet to see any of those franchise-dooming
canned ideas you speak of. Why do I got the feeling you’re tempting fate? There you are! Oh, here we go… I have been looking for you for over sixty… … years! Hi, I don’t know my name,
but call me your Robo-Waifu. I was made by my maker to look like his ex-GF,
except giant, naked, and a robot. And no, there was nothing wrong with him,
why you ask? Lets hold this expression a little longer. It’s like in that nightmare I keep having. I’m here to kill these losers, mutilate your mutt, and seduce your nuclear lizardy ass to partake in
a sado-masochistic foreplay of brutality as your bride! The details still match! Lets just go. Then I’ll detonate this hydrogen bomb
placed into me by my loving creator to blow us both up in a passionate fireworks
display of all the rainbow’s seven colors! Lets! Not kinky enough for you, hon? If any of you want to come with… Not you, thotbot! I can maybe try wiggling my leverage in Toho’s face
to get a movie deal or two out of ’em. Thanks, Godzilla. But I think today we all learned that our place is here. Agreed? Really? Last chance! Come on, there’s always another chance. Your own filmography is a testament to that. As long as we’re here, studios can always come
back to us when they run out of ideas. Some, like that Shockirus feller, have
already made it off this island. Perhaps we’ll cross roads again sometime. Then I look forward to killing you on the big screen. Peculiar. Hop on my back, fellas! I SAID HOP! I now have way too many holes down there. Farewell! So long! Suckers! Ah, who am I kidding?! I want outta this limbo! Holy crap, guys! What I miss? Uhh, Godzilla! I think we’re gonna get killed! He meant ‘we’ as in you too. Nah. Look at that, you destroyed Japan again
without even aiming for it. You know what that means! You’ll take the weekend off to play with me? More Godzilla films. Because what better way to process
nation-wide nuclear apocalypse than to channel that tragedy into creativity
and further embellish the cinematic career of my humble being? Yep, business is booming! Who knows what kinda movies
will be made from now on? Or won’t! Boy. I’m sure glad I didn’t have to
be on that there island. Aren’t you? Wow. Trees are hardcore. Yes, Anguirus. We must always protect
the trees and forests. And there’s nothing wrong with unusual
movies, just don’t go overboard with them. And I think Godzilla should fly more. Whoa! What was that? It felt like I became a mouthpiece. So this is what it’s like to
say something substantive. You guys, I’m being serious. We should all take to the air. Because I think there’s less chance to crash
into these stupid islands that way. And also, there’s bitey things down here. Could you folks steer me to Infant Island? There’s a certain someone there I need
to turn into another “unmade monster”. Sooo… What was the message here? I’m not sure, but how about we make
some more weird-ass movies, but also don’t make some of them? Sounds like a plan! Yes, we are good at those. Or not…

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