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That's boys: Ep.21 Kelsey, The Entertainer



so cook let me just jump into it do you think about prostitution oh well straight up it's fine yeah yeah as long as it's a regulated system how do you regulate it make it legal tax it tax just make it like any other service protect it there's no STDs these screenings yeah program you have to be in yeah but but okay I love it don't read into the details let's look at the overview okay people have problem prostitution it's just not can't do it don't do it so no so much you you agree with that you don't agree with that don't agree that you shouldn't be able to be a prostitute I think you should ever you want I just I've been I heard about it got brought up again about that oh I can never be legal you just can't do that sad well I don't I really don't see the big issue there like you're you're you're on the same page as me like I don't you think if prostitution was legal it would eliminate or lower not eliminate it would lower like date rape yeah I mean potentially cuz it's a hey man you could either just call them they come over you pay them you guys have your time or you meet some girl you buy her food get her liquored up buy a hotel room and then you do your business you're still paying for all those things and you're getting her drunk so you can have your way and that's hey now we're diving in but that's okay that's okay but you can't just pay him to come over and have sex T exactly the the world's fucked up it's full of it's full of one-sided biased perspective dude I feel like every topic we talked about just wraps around to the hey man the world fucked up it is dude really is people's outlook it's fucked up like prostitution is not for you don't do it what do you also feel about artal and artificial insemination where you think about that can you explain using a sentence maybe no me and my wife artificially inseminated to have our children you guys are willing to pay for it yeah and deal with the child I'm saying what do you think about on a personal I would you do it like you can you can choose your genders and shit doing that it's is it my genetics you can put your genetics and your wife's genetics like a regular child but you can like alter it so you get the right gender you want stuff like that it's not something I would do personally you would never do that though for sure for sure why not uh because I don't want to mess with I don't know there's something there's something to be said about like what are the odds of being human as is know yeah I it turns into oh man hey hey son you're just such a blessing in our life – yeah man we pretty much just built you in a lab yeah you're disappointing me yeah do you know I think there's something there's something special about just who gets given a life cherish do you picture yourself over adopting a child dude that's a good question no I don't take myself adopting a child do you know and I feel bad about it but I just don't well it's just like it's a stretch to wrap my mind around having it kept my own yeah you know what I mean it's like shit it's a lot of money a lot of time a lot of fucking expensive oh yeah ideas on say they want a lot of money for those damn kids yeah comes down to maybe I couldn't even afford you know I just think like I mean I think it's a selfish decision but is it am i striking it too far to say like if I had to have a kid I mean at least want it to be me you know what's fucked up huh no that's not fucked up there's nothing wrong with that I just that's not but you know why do you feel that's fucked up because there's so many fucking kids need adopted need adoption but new to keep pumping out our own because we want our own I just seems fucked up but that's you know yeah I definitely understand where you're coming from totally I just I wish I wish that kind of mattered more to me do you think that do you think we could ever possibly see a lot come into place or how many children you can yeah why not I mean others other countries you've already done that I know but America is like one of those places that prides themselves on not Nutella I actually know thinks yeah I think we're evolving like as far as like more sustainable so I think we're gonna be able to support humans dude I don't know man I think that's the biggest problem really I think ok was my boss was talking me and he's like he remember whatever he was I think he said I could just a kid or maybe said high school whatever but the world population was four billion now it's already seven billion and he's only fifty something yeah but fucking nuts but there's much change underway bro like what dude well he's some natural catastrophes are gonna come I hate you why are you putting what are you casting on us here that's what's gonna happen like what one of our humans story I know but okay okay so you're just saying natural causes are gonna handle the population and and I already feel like there's a transition like if like people want to be more healthier these days I thought people go and I feel like I know more people that are my inner circle that are healthy compared to when I was ten inner circle I'd inner circle but I mean it's also like you think look at all people with good our gym no dude I'm super super fit dude I'd be inclined to saying the same thing like it's more popular like drinks are like things are being advertised now is more healthy right so I'm saying so I agree with that but then they keep showing that like the obesity rates bigger than it's ever been it's continuing to grow no signs of stoppage so it's like we're seeing us we're seeing a small portion like the small portion is speaking really loud to us I think like I mean yeah it's a sad thing yeah but I mean if you can't control your diet and that that's this shit's gonna kill you too so if you beat obesity rate maybe really high but fuckin that's another natural catastrophe little white people out you know fucking careful oh yeah yeah I mean I don't know these people that have the drink everyday smoke cigarettes every day and they're in their 90's yeah dude that's fucking nuts it's all I don't think you know I don't think it really matters it's like you tagged me in that thing today about the jeans and the only thing I wanted to say about that was the guy mentioned in there that we known by now like that 98% of diseases aren't you're not born with them the red eteri and then he was quickly spur he's like like through hurt they're not hurtin all right it's a gotcha day I mean yeah you get him from your lifestyle I mean and so he just named he started like he's like type 1 diabetes sickle cell and dude sickle cell I don't understand that because I don't I don't have any idea if like if it's exclusive well I know that's predominantly black people have sickle so mm-hmm and so I don't I think that's something that's read eteri that's something they're born with it so I don't know I think this guy's a quack maybe they're born with it like the only race that has the opportunity to contract yeah oh yeah but like what kind of lifestyle would give you sickle-cell anyone your skin into your family of skin cancer no tons of skin cancer in my hand so you're fucked no dude doesn't really scare me because I fuck it that's like a vibe with some pretty well like it's rarely seen you guys it's pretty tight get read yeah no dude with a pretty bull I mean he's a cool dude but hotter than my first time of year just how I like it but did you ever see me all read maybe that's how they treat you my dad gets pink is fucked that's like creature they get let's you guys get all tan and enjoy your time we were you but then when you're older they smack you with skin cancer there's a balance yeah it's always about I'd say you sit up and some more than I do this summer he'd eat up and really working on it's another one those bullshit things I've always said you're working on skin cancer too yeah you know oh I just don't and I'm not um I did I can't tan stopped amber there's a white like female thing to say yeah it's like fuck dude I'll make my self tanner oh dude you can change it but going back to what that genetics post said it was saying that you could change it by the thought you could change your genes or by your thought and make sure you never contract these diseases do you know what sickle sighs no this is one thing I can remember so piss a little little anatomy lesson for you so your red blood cells a little circles and they have a little divot in the middle mm-hmm and they do it in the middle its purpose is it carries oxygen in a little divot there your body so their red blood cells are shaped like a sickle so they can't carry the oxygen so that's what I get fucked like a sickle like the grim reaper holds why is sickle I don't know do you don't know why it's like that that's what interesting that's what the disease is I mean maybe it's shifted bubble that bubbled up so the lawyer can auction can rest in it or something something like that but now it's changed so we said I'm gonna be a sickle that's wild but know if it is something that comes from our environment then that would mean that the reason it happens in black people was because it's something that only black people do right yeah so that couldn't make sense screwing with their shoes on god damn it dude that's it fuck dude good that was great Colton ma'am we're gonna have an early morning ahead of us and it's got me thinking I haven't been I haven't we haven't been a week apart in a long time how long very long time no couldn't call it that's been over a year oh yeah probably almost two like I said do you gonna be all right you know I was thinking about this is what are you gonna do well just what I'm still well is it when the last pot cake came out on Monday I think I'm still nursing that it's tell me I could do things been fucking with me in a week so I had to leave work it was so fucked up we got to give Colton round of applause I was really disappointed guys I thought we weren't gonna able to get a podcast done before I left because Colton came home from work today we're supposed to sit down and do it and he look like he's brother died he's still fucked up yep I don't know what it is though I'm gonna get an ultrasound what the fuck that's gonna do hey can't tell your story dude sure I'm not comparing us I'm not comparing us I was in I was in first grade indeed I was sitting and we were doing like we're sitting in a circle or something anyways I got this fucking and the most intense pain in my stomach I get hurt so bad I started bawling bawling bawling because I hurt so bad and then my parents came and got me and they took me a doctor and doctor couldn't figure I was up so they sent me to the hospital get an ultrasound put the shit on my tummy and rubbed all around they'll never found out you never knew it was it I just hurt like fucking like a bitch all day and then it went away my dad said he just thinks I had a good fart built up with doctor god it was just a day yeah I only fucked me for a day well wasn't going on like on and off before you're gonna you're gonna really enjoy that what's your sound why do they they they take your shirt off and they they put this gel on this little rubber pad what would I like that cuz they rub it all over your belly it's like a little massage it's kind of cold jelly it's nice to eat that stuck with me since I was a little kid is it is the ultrasound checking for something or is it serving a purpose no she's checking it's like it's like an x-ray gotcha yeah that's all you're gonna look in there to see if I swallowed like a leg out of it yeah I see if you get a little ego brewing in there or something excuse me and that's what their problem there for you know I did have beans last week I could be the root of all this the beans are fucking you the doctor though she didn't know like what to tell me and I was like do people stomach just get fucked up for it sometimes it just happened she's all whoa I mean it could be like a virus or something I was like is that bad she's all I mean it'll just go away I was like thanks so I really just need to wait and you don't know what it is last has I've been to the doctor they don't know they don't know what anything is they're like they're just like oh well you have some pain there so we could try this medicine if this works let me know dude did the whole like why you guys like working so hard in med school dude I fucking you can't give me a better explanation than that do you ever think about how much harder it is to be a vet than a doctor oh yeah fuck that dude Jesus Christ and but hey again balances so it's easier to be a doctor because you guys got to worry about people but if you kill a person that's kind of a problem but you know if it's not what if you killed her all the time it's not that big of a deal they also saved them all the time but that's part of the balance but yeah yeah no one's gonna cry too hard oh yeah well people will but they'll get over it it's easier to get over you lost bike rather than you lost your son yeah I'd say so I went I had to go I spin all that okay here's the fucked up part of the system I go to this doctor I think I also went to the urgent care I just like hey I was hoping he could tell me if what the fuck is wrong with my shoulder in my a a pussy be did I tear something or see this is something that can just be handled and it'll go away couldn't tell me send me to this orthopedic thing and another just another doctor in a different room comes in starts rubbing my shoulder oh well does it hurt we can do this here yeah yeah okay well it could be this this or this we won't know until we do a an MRI it falls off bring it back and we'll know yeah but you have to be in line you have to fill up this thing too in order for the interest to agree to do an MRI because my eyes are really expensive so come back in about six weeks and we'll see if it still hurts uh they told me today you'd be better off looking at a gastro something guess drawl I just Castro whatever dude and I was like sure call him yeah they can get me in in October so just hang on okay it's a hold tight oh man I can't pucker that long what do they think he expect me to wait talked over what a fucking joke to say hey listen listen fuckers I've got something trying to jump out of my stomach and see they're gonna leave my mouth on my shitter every hour of the day dude I saw the most terrifying video today doubt it India whose videos in India knows multiple incidents I don't know if they're all it took place any of you but these monkeys are just coming to end them down I'm like fucking people up like attacking us like Planet of the Apes type shit Wow yeah dude never ripping people up fucking them up killing I don't know if they ever killed anybody but dude I would fuck up a monkey no doubt I'm glad you answered that way fuck that in it wouldn't stand a goddamn chance with me hell no well fight fair I would destroy they say dude what monkeys go straight for the nuts and then your face are you serious they know they know you've run a little place so they go for your vulnerable place they say every time someone personal I'd get it I get scrappy the fucking one monkey comes up to me maybe grabs your dad maybe bitch-slap him but he comes to me and he goes for my nads oh dude it's game over I'm gonna get a nail gun out and I'm gonna show these monkeys who's boss so okay good so the scenario we have whatever supplies we want it would you feel good what do you think what do you think a monkey would do if they came they saw you and you had a necklace of monkey sacs you think they look at you and go god damn that motherfucker has all kinds of all kinds of monkey sex they would either not they would either a for sure not fuck with me or they would say this fucker needs to go yeah that's the scary part we don't know what consciousness their kind of fucking with we do now dude crazy I think they're both though I think one would say oh dude look at all those sacks that guy has around his neck do not fuck with him and then one one would turn and look and go no dude we're fucking with him you know there was okay so you know I'm plan of the Apes he has to send his monkey to that little place where all the other monkeys are they swing around and have fun so there was a similar scenario that happened somewhere and this this guy owned a monkey and it was the monkey's birthday so he brought to the facility birthday cake for the monkey and other monkeys got out and attacked this fucker and killed him because they were jealous didn't bring them any cake they were jealous what's the other the monkey kick they murdered the dude or the monkeys human no dude they're fucking shit dude that would piss me off dude I'd walk in there at the shotgun and blow one of those motherfuckers away oh he's dead he never had a chance the monkeys bro he went in there just hoping the boss on candles got his dick ripped off his dick off dude Tony every time it's not every told proof are upset let's just say you're nuts often they make your face unrecognizable yep why they just know your vulnerable places dude does not bullshit this is real shit no wonder if if if this is the theory no wonder we came from them they're scrapping motherfuckers and they had to be to get where they are you need to listen this podcast I listened to you what's the talking about apparently we originated it as a like a little rat that's where we started yeah a rat a rat and and then it developed into some sort of it survived the dinosaur explosion and it started as a little rat and then a monkey they said Benny went to turn into like a whale type thing in the water a whale this was I'm joking dude they were they're going into it man it's the the very the the earliest relative of Homo sapiens this little rat thing well I do all kinds of like clinical tests on rats so super similar nuts dude dude that kind of freaks me a little bit I didn't like hearing that I kind of like the idea of like we were just fucking monkeys dude and then yeah well Joe Rogan says though they was just monkeys that started eating mushrooms and now do you know where that could add something I can jump on board with they said that whether that theory comes from is because you know that psilocybin mushrooms grow on cow shit yes in that they like to this day like they observe monkeys like going out and picking up these cow patties and like eating shit off them so like of course they probably ate mushrooms and realized hey it makes our mental acuity better you know how many other probably different like drugs molecules experiences that are out there they're like we have yet to discover yeah it's okay dude I think we got plenty it's like if you soak a banana and vinegar and then dip it in gasoline light it on fire and then snort it you don't need something like that releases you'd never know bro hey no dude someone's definitely done that we dig that out oh dude nobody's done that I can guarantee that don't you know that there's an every possibility happens what every possibility happens right now there's an exact situation happening where you're not scratching your toe where it's a safranin dude different dimensions different outcomes why do you what makes you say this dude it's called the sum this is Kelsey talking not me so you just really got the something theory and it's like the quantum something maybe quantum but it's like there's infinite possibilities for every symphony universes for every single event happening there on day one right now we're me and you are running out of the back of a strip club with all kinds of white powder on our nose and we got blood all over us and we don't hey I don't know what happened that's happening somewhere that's not happening you're sure yeah I'm sure do you what do you not get about infinite possibilities I get it it's actually know anybody who says they get it you don't even get it cuz you don't understand what infinite is you can't comprehend that I can do I can understand it's infinite yeah that's it that's all you can say you don't know what it is that means that there's never-ending possibilities yeah I know but you can't picture what that looks like Oh God you just know you just know never-ending possibilities okay you couldn't sit here named never-ending possibilities until the end of time forever I would say talk about every possibility from this exact situation right here there's one where we have to cut this podcast short because there's an old lady out in their driveway having a stroke and then there's one where we go help her and then there's another outcome where you say half I could do it rather just finish the pod so you're saying the the foxtails have foxtails they have foxtails yep so ya know ya mean you're on your way but you still don't know if the fuck you're talking about dude leave some step in the right direction Colton I stumbled across a screw party yesterday on my lunch break yeah so well it looked to be a screw party so there was at a stoplight light turns green I start going I hear a pop on the hot on the horn so I'm looking like which one of these motherfuckers passed me honking couldn't tell didn't think anything of it and then I look as I'm driving a little further than that parking lot cat a corner to the intersection there's a little whatever Dodge Neon sitting there with a door open driver door and there's outside of the driver door are two feet sticking out like that and when the one heel keeps hitting the horn back and then there's someone straddling in between the legs so what the fuck he was humping her so so so so there I go I don't know am i okay they're fucking her fighting not sure which so I was like okay I don't want to get in the way of this group party in the middle the afternoon in downtown Albuquerque but then I was thinking fuck she could be getting killed or something don't know what's happening could be getting carjacked fuck bitch come around we could want a third I should go check it out come around turns out they were up they were out of the car by then it was just these two homosexual gentlemen just domestic dispute nothing to get riled up about but the point is if someone needed me I was there call that you lead with that next time because here's a fun story I wanted to walk you through well my mind is well feeling hell this is it something's happening time to be a hero I don't think I've ever witnessed anything like that in my entire life I saw a driver dive out of the car one time this was in Roswell and he got up and started fucking cussing up the car and got up and ran away and his wife jumped out of the passenger side and ran over to the driver's side door out of the moving car how fast now they would come up to I wasn't that fast he was fine well Hey Dude he tried to get away from her hey we've all been there dude I think I thought you just explained the story of Avery exactly that happened him and him and his boy his exes Jesus Christ look – stop sign boom bail nada boom done with it I probably wasn't as fortunate as I did though you know one time I had this situation I was fucking mad I just want Ike he was one of situations got it away but can't even notice you're in that situation it's like let's say so you and your significant other get in a fight but you're in her car you're you got all the power cuz then you just hey fuck you oh I'm out of here hit the door gone right yeah but then whenever you get in those disputes and you're all fucking pissed off and you're in your car you're fucked because yeah it's rare they bail on you so we really want to sit there and get all of you and they're gonna teach you a fucking lesson so you're sitting there eight can't get physical okay get physical so you're just sitting there so you want to but you want to but you just can't and so I'm sitting there and you know screaming hey get the fuck out but they don't want to leave you can't do anything about it so one time played a bold move I said whatever fuck it I'm out of here jumped out of my own car they say fuck you they grabbed my keys out of the ignition they take off so they think they have me one guess what I always got a spare key I was out of there I was out there for before anyone knew what's going on they take his key dude hello Kelsey man you crack me up dude it's just I'm just saying always keep spare Kira never know when it's gonna come at a time like that why didn't you just take the key why don't you just park the car turn the ignition off grab the keys and start walking him out of here then they follow you you run you're faster but then why am i running – gotta come back to my car and then you get a taste of lion then you go back and you get your tune of friends you say you know what hey I had Lyme and I liked the taste of it yeah yeah keep that next time yeah you know it's really sad about that time when I tip my patience was this short just because all I was thinking about so still it was Caesar was coming to Albuquerque I remember and you guys were getting fucked up and so the plane was I was gonna meet up he doesn't get fucked up and they weren't letting you get fucked up well that's not what the fight was about but that's all I could think about was getting so I don't know patience to handle that I was like hey I got look I have alcohol to be drank with my friends and I know Mario cards hot right yeah I got a Florida pass out on so I got to go so look don't need priorities are all fucked we could fuck or we could fight but it don't matter to me because I gotta go did you ever think about your everyday priorities and like something like wow that's really it's fine it's I'm gonna go with it but it's really fucked up what do you mean I did just look at how you prioritize certain things oh yeah years ago I'm doing something that's of less value than the other thing first yeah but that's just how you do it yeah that's life would you ever get in those fights with your girl would you would you guys make up the same day or which she would they take time oh dude I think almost every fight I've ever had took time how much time oh dude sometimes it was about three or four days most time is just a day god damn yeah you're always you're a solvent day off god damn I'm a runner dude I don't know I turned my phone off get out of there I can't wait to get rid of my phone I'm getting a flip phone I'm activating my old crazy no dude be a boss get a razor all I have is a crazy no dude we'll get you a good razor I'm sure they're not too expensive you think they still make them uh yeah you can judge by refurbished when they tried to remake one what they tried to remake the razor it's like all it's like a touchscreen this still closes really yeah but I've heard much about it so I don't want that one yeah you want the old one I hear you yeah deep yeah I thought it was hot fucking shit because my parents got me a razor razors were fucking sweet you had a razor you fucked whoa whoa what how old were you and you had that razor I don't know were you fucking I don't think so don't just go fucking saying shit like hey bro I'm saying that's the look you let the person I was fucking when I had a Firefly Colton did have a fire fine dude I'll never forget that it's me yep holds up to five contacts going mom dad there got three spots open dude I would save friends and some of that cake can I borrow your fire fight son come on mom I think so I have to go delete a contact and make a contact for their their parent before they can call it V there's no key panel on it you can just program five contacts if you don't have a program you can't call it's for emergencies only I'd have to go delete a contact and then add what's your mom's name okay with an iron and take me about five minutes and I'd let them borrow it and then after erase it then for my friends back on me I remember one time dude the first time I ever had a laptop I was making the password for it and it was it was every key on the keyboard oh my god dude left-right-left is Allison you with the whole thing yeah ABC a told us on ABC but it's I did all the letters I didn't do the numbers and just put all three rows I don't know my dad was like hey can I print something off your computer that was all sure he's okay what's password as well ah let's talk big deal I was like well it's like I'll just show you I just I remember doing it and he's just looking at me and I was like and after that I changed this ever one time I did show did you have this do you have like a like just a home computer at your house the family shared yeah it's like not a lab – yeah like a computer and then we all kind of shared a laptop okay but you didn't have like a holy joke so like in my house we had like a computer and then there was like everyone had a tab you go to your tab yeah never one time I was show my dad something and I'd go to my tab I click on my tab and it's uh I remember my screensaver was these sexy fucking provocative pictures of Rihanna dude I can still remember the images she was tight not that she's still not but anyway you know my dad going oh my dad's probably thinking like Rihanna used to give me public looks at you different dressed your life like as I as I surpassed my Rihanna naked screensaver and type in club penguin how long did you actually operate Club Penguin for all of fifth grade and into sixth grade I dabbled back I heard something I've heard some of the hoes were getting on so I got did you just to pick up women yeah dude my pickup on was always hey babe it's good one hey babe and then it's pretty standard yeah we do there join me to the coffee shop or they believe the man back to your England play with you little couples everyone meet up call me come to glue we having a fuck party do you have any puffles yeah Christ dude idiot did you ever have one of those MSN messengers I got one because this girl I liked said she had once I tried to get one me too who are you chasing her name was shelby miller shelby miller do you know really yeah yeah that's that's cute Kelsie thanks man I think I was chasing like Britney black lasagna do you know funny story about that so whenever we were in elementary school hey I made Shelby Miller my girlfriend worked out anyways so Shelby Miller was my girlfriend so when we got pregnant in high school I think yeah she did sure did she was scarred after me I guess anyway so she was my girlfriend and Cody and Madison were boyfriend-girlfriend Koda came with me one day at recess and he says hey dude let's let's test our girls it's like what do you mean he's like you go ask out you go ask Madison to be your girlfriend and I'm gonna go I'll show her to me my girlfriend and Cody went and asked her and I went asked Madison Madison said no cuz she said coach my boyfriend and Cody came back and said she said yes to you I was D and I was broke dude she tore me up how old was real we were in fourth grade she said yeah bro so so I guess I guess I got both girls now yeah sorry bro you really sad time my life man that's okay dude tell you truth never quite got over it it's alright man Shelby wasn't the one for you man I think you know that looking back now thanks do you know I've been questioning it yeah safe from him from I was gonna say bullet but that sounds draaga Tory yeah it's not derogatory well did ya hey you know I you know it took me a while to get over it someone got who and you say that yeah dude finally I can close that book it's been eating me up take a deep inhale there you go feel a lot better do you mean get your stress ball oh no I threw it out remember what happened last week fucking shit I can remember I think it was like me and Brice meeting up with Shelby Miller wanted to play like truth or dare or something she's super hot I remember the first day I went to middle school I thought Kaylee Faircloth was a mom whoa I thought she was jumping off so I thought Cody Bartlett was her son dude Walt dude mean Cody Bartlett were what at the start of seventh grade 4 foot 11 she was already a full mature woman she was too it like a little thought was her mom she got on the bus and I was like that's kind of weird she just had braces she's a substitute Oh God that was a great Buster and then I switched to bus 69 now it was pretty blood to Buster says let his fuck all jokes aside yeah that bus fucking slap that bus slapper it was me Andre tristin Katya indeed that's interesting because that's not the 69 oh my gosh Thomas arias damn and in that's not the 69 you didn't ride my 69 okay you got even alive on that fucking bus it sounds like that's not like a rough crowd oh dude you is fucking like being in the jungle did we talk about that spider that keeps around baby frogs no did you did tagging that that shit is crazy so this species of spider lets a little baby frog chill underneath his web uh-huh and provides him free protection and they in exchange see it's one of those I scratch your back you scratch my back you know I'm talking about you saying give and take giving take give and take give and take exactly little frog lives under lives under him huh spider protects them all little frog has to do let's protect the eggs don't let any insects get to the eggs we're all cool use the tongue yeah just like that that's great maybe you were a frog in a past life dude I've thought a lot about it what I was and you know I spent all my time thinking I was like fucking Aquaman or Poseidon or something but yeah it's been fucking frog I like the bull yeah kind of see it I was definitely an otter in a past life do you think you get to experience animal experiences or do you think you just get reincarnated into a human do think it'd be possible to live as an animal I don't know yeah I mean if you believe in that shit because people say you can get reincarnated into like a fucking oak tree or something yeah oak trees have souls oh that's a great question man do you gingers have souls I'd argue that you could reincarnate into anything that has life so I thought it would be cool that like on a human experience you have to live there's a plant and then an animal in the diamond be sweet I mean it's like well what would it be sweet you don't remember yeah no you don't but at the moment it was everything are you saying all the universe had you're saying you wish like it was like levels to this shit like if you're a human you've been through the shit three levels the first one fig I was called second one sim that's the most comfortable level they say is sim cuz you you have your own form of happiness and you live within like your ways and you don't question deeper you don't go further you're just comfortable so it's like it's a really happy place to live then the AI is where it kind of sucks because that that further questioning like that more curiosity you get less answers and so you start to like it's just kind of volatile but that's said to be the shortest stage because you're gonna either from this stage evolve into the latest and conquer the volatility of this level or you're gonna go back down to comfort because you just want comfort so it's like four different and then the last one is human consciousness and that's so it was described as a person who acknowledges emotions like so you don't let your emotions control you whatsoever you acknowledge them for advice and then like you always have maintained Chi like you know like the fundamental like rules of happiness how to live get what you want manifest like it's crazy it was a really cool like you read though fuck yeah alright kids don't read whatever cool is talking about and lay off the pot so when Kelsey returns from his vacation in approximately eight days from now seven seven days for seven days then we're gonna be working on putting together a podcast where we talked about diet exercise um exercise like yeah we just uh fitness and health series miniseries so I help me out here how to format it so I was thinking like I'm not gonna make each thing because they're gonna be brief probably cuz most likely will be brief it's like so I'm not gonna make those an episode so I'll just like make the very first one we do in episode 24 whatever it's 20 something by then and then the next episode will still be that episode part whatever that make sense to you perfect and dude hey we'll see how the how the listeners react we'll see if they like that but it's great to get feedback but I've been hearing that it'd be a lot better if maybe we get to make a podcast centered around something so we're gonna we're gonna give that shot so we'll start with maybe doing a fitness help the health one we're doing we're gonna do a Crawdaddy episode where I teach you how to successfully get crawdads out of canals irrigation ditches rivers get them into your boiling pot and have a fresh meal for you and your family I'm gonna even include a recipe in there that's a family recipe it's gonna be delicious and you're gonna you're gonna want to hear that it's gonna be a 15 to 20 minute episode but it's gonna give you a complete how to know-how of crawdads and i tell you what they are the shrimp of the rio grande they're great they tasted great do they not they did mixed in with some chicken can't even tell the difference guys no sir patrons and that's probably like what 60 $75 value he's gonna give that motherfucker to you for free so absolutely free and what's cool about what's cool about the crawdad eficient you just need some bacon and string final lugnut get yourself await hey I'm not gonna go into it hey dude don't give it away I'm just letting you know it's that easy it's that fucking easy you got a water source key looks like we got a daddy teach you the jig sure you'll be harvesting your waters once a week oh yeah even know how to make traps not even fucking with you dude did you better practice I don't need a practice I know craw daddy fishing better than I almost know anything I think I could drink 20 beers in one hour on the podcast I wouldn't do it on Park I would out video it and put it on YouTube probably I wouldn't do it for the podcast well why don't we do a cooking episode where I talk about the crawdads and we'll do I'll show how to gut it clean it boil it and you'll just be sitting in the background drinking 20 beers well I mean yeah we could do yeah hey possibilities are endless but anyway I saw video today Steve will do it drink 19 beers in an hour and I was and I I watched it I skipped through it to watch he's really fucking around I think if I sat down for mine to it thank you do it yeah I think I could do 20 beers in an hour you're crazy I'm not crazy what's that come out to a minute one every three minutes shit here's I say to you I think I think I can get down 20 of years in an hour you'd be fucked up I'd love to see it what do you think about this dude if you just slam to because you just think okay let me start quickly you slammed two three immediately and then dude your stomach is already just you know you're right it's like how the fuck do you but dude I I'm telling you I could do some of these challenges Steve will do it very popular for very good reason he does cool shit but he did that Buffalo hot wings challenge barely made it through I fucking killed that challenge no problem or you could just slam five beers wait 20 minutes slam five wait 20 minutes lime thought that's so saying dude you can't slam five there like that sure you can after number three you look he didn't throw up at all at the very end he's like he got eaten him get past a like the hours coming down he still had like two and a half years left and he started slaying him he was like burping up suds and shit Steve will did but he was like talking everybody fucking around cuz that's another part you get hammered how are you gonna haiti but guess what i'll do it for the listeners i think they want to see it or the viewers i think the best way to get a beer bong bro yeah just fucking start going to town beer bong or dude if i if i can all get them in the cups i can say I woke up early easily but if it's in a borrower can I struggle with this in a cup against all right I'll talk to my publicist we'll get that well you don't think that I think some people want to see also cold what are we gonna go eat 10,000 calories in a day when you get back okay I think it's gonna be too easy actually so you go to that buffet King and just fucking camp out in there all day dude I was thinking about spending not gonna move the TV remote I was gonna spending my morning at like a village in eating the whole mess of Pancakes taking a quick break going to Peter Piper's buffet oh dude Shivan Shivan oh god how's it feel feels great I'm a little worried when the hair starts growing if it's gonna like stop trickling on my shorts yeah sort of the arms you know boy that's the next move Colton so what do you think but I real quick thoughts on this there's a UFC fighter currently who look it now people are of course giving him shit cuz that's how the world works you find people in a gimmick and whenever he was trying to make money in his youth he did a lot of gay porn to make money so people started resurfacing these videos this UFC fighter and I think the reason it's getting the most shit's cuz he claims he's like I'm not gay I'm really I'm not gay I just did it for the money okay hey you know I heard this story and I was like you know what I guess I've never really been that hard up for money but I guess what I'll do some questionable things in her heart for cash but I think the thing was he had like 19 videos hmm so this was uh this was not just a quick buck this was a girl for a little bit I mean if you do it once why not do it 19 times cash n get the fuck out is that how you view life that's how I view that aspect of that for sure nothing more if I said I was gonna do if I was that desperate to do gay porn how's it have put myself through that you do it I'll have you deal do it a few more times that way and yeah and we walk out with it like actual six figures okay that'll make me feel a little better about the thought okay so you're saying fuck 20 dudes and get six figures better than fucking one dude and getting a grand grin we're getting like Canadian uh that is a good would you rather yeah yeah I'm with you on that I think it'd be better to it's like if you're gonna send it fucking send it you got the fucking testes to walk out there and fork another bro fucking do it then dude I mean I'd stay away from that guy in the ring yeah dude but he's a fucking Savage yeah Jesus Christ you gotta be real killer to make money in the heterosexual porn game do they get paid a lot like the big ones but like okay so I heard that's how you like get through ranked essentially you start in gay porn those are the rules I think if you're if you don't have anything special to offer yeah I think you're real heavy hitter though they just put strip to the big leagues if you're real heavy you got a hammer between your legs yeah it's like oh you want to do porn you don't have a hammer sorry boss sorry bro work down at the B league yeah and we're bringing it up we'll bring you up on the ready go back to prostitutes yeah so Chelsea don't go back to that one you always go back to you oh that's not you wonder you like the conversation yeah go for it hey man I'm just saying dude you know life doesn't look so bad remember you might think you might be someone sitting sitting you're going hey you might be someone home listening saying hey I'm just a single dude okay I enjoy my singleness all right you know I get a little lonely I'm all too lazy to go out and go through all the nonsense it takes to meet us in yareta so you know you dial this number you opened your wallet and then job is done everyone's happy she's happy you're happy did I just see it's the win it is it's rare in life you really get those win-win scenarios that's getting prostitutions a wind wind I do absolutely would you be a male prostitute and let women hire you up oh man think about this one would you rather this because this could be a reality for you I'm taken but right now you're off the market paint me a picture actually make you a business card and we start handing it out to all the fucking at all like women's golf tournaments and stuff Kelsey the Entertainer and they call you over and they just hire you to get drunk with a bunch of girls that are older you just sit there and get drunk with them have a nice conversation a nice conversation wear something tight maybe you have to deal with a couple of them later or something like that's extra you know I mean you get a business card yeah yeah I'm just saying we get you we get you to the to the entertainment for 250 let me say you want anything else that's 500 bucks they all these rich women hey there's no harm in it they're married Colton I love it beautiful business-minded there but we all know that's gonna go for me hell you get me there you're gonna fall for one of them I know no no no you get me there for 250 to sit down have drinks with you okay after we're good and hammered and she wants to go back to her place and shag well guess what dude I don't even care about the 500 anymore fuck it here so then I always come home how much tonight 250 oh you didn't fuck her oh I did Oh goddamnit Kelsey supposed to get 500 we would sign me I would arrange everything before you walked in those doors so you're a pimp yeah it's pretty dope call me Gator but seriously dude we can make some real fucking match that way what's your cut what percent uh for we're winding the deals I won't go fifty man I'll just take twenty percent commission setting up all you have to do is show up that's it show up I'll drop you off and pick you up damn yep you hear that we're being safe about it does that not sound like a good a deal for you all of a sudden I say hey Kelsey be ready at five o'clock on every Friday every Friday I pick you up at five o'clock sounds like drop you off at an address in the Northeast Heights some beautiful home you just spend the evening getting sloshed with a bunch of older Cougars dude I like that you keep always making sonic it's gonna be a group thing cuz that sounds really cool yeah but hey I'm also cool just meet you you're specified leader for some solo play is that your say yeah hey I like a little one-on-one time butter me up you know what they would love that I surely would they would they would absolutely eat that shit up a young man like me yep strapping young man dude we kick him we could both quit our jobs for sure I don't know we're waiting on is that that's illegal huh hey well we'll do it we'll do the prototype in Oklahoma I'll get some cards I'll start passing out in Oklahoma see if I get any Oklahoma calls that's illegal right I think if we just leave it at entertainment up for interpretation we have headshots of all of our friends they email us we email him the picture list I'll take number three number four hey number four said he was busy so you're just getting over through you out to get number three and number two number one is also free maybe I like the idea we just made a million dollar business is it illegal yeah if I find out we're fuckin get paid for it yes isn't that crazy that's crazy isn't that fucking nut isn't it fucking crazy Colton that you can walk anywhere right now walk in the doors pay some you little nice little asian girl probably and get a massage and she can rub all over your fucking body the minute she grabs your dick boom prostitution arrested both of you yeah so if you don't stop her yep officer I fell asleep I was asleep and next thing I knew she was on top of me dude no Beth no that's the thing right they can rub you up and down but they can't rub your dick I think they do though dude they do but I'm just saying if you go by the rules that's how it has been have you ever known anyone who's actually been doing those with parlors a tug parlor yeah never actually known a real story oh dude I do can't disclose them do I don't want you to disclose them which one but it's always been in other countries and other countries yeah they do it like Vietnam so then Thailand they probably fuck them then they probably get a hand job yeah what about that story we heard about that guy that who's single his whole life just worked a regular job and he would always take a two-week vacation go down to Mexico and he would just hire a girl for the entire two weeks time and money and you there making money exactly they liked the gringo he likes the seniorita shit everybody fucking wins you don't get those snails and to have that scenario right here in front of us and we're just gonna shut the doors on it is not okay and something needs to be done about it that's last we're gonna say about it unless we're gonna say about all right Colton now we got a looks like we have about four hours telling you to be on the road to the airport be serious pretty close don't know what time it is pretty late it's 11:00 I don't know okay well let's let's just play some pub for quick and settle down all right goodbye no no give him a send-off Colton when was the last time you said the Pledge of Allegiance September 14 September 14th yep no September 2014 timber 11th to the 14th might have been no that wasn't it I can't be too specific to 2014's your graduation years out you're getting at that's what I'm getting at okay so it wasn't September so you're right probably was whatever a year or whatever may May 14 okay so we're gonna sing it this is gonna be our send-off from tonight CVU I pledge allegiance who doe philately dad to America I love undara no to flag hello I'm data of United States of America started over I pledge allegiance Kudo philately dad to the flag a Lavandera United States of America Telus Estados Unidos the America yeah la república yeah La Repubblica the Republic I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America I already said that into the Republic Oh into the Republic for which it stands yeah you've got once I get it in my egg case in bellezza one nation under God moon on lassie on in divisive lay indivisible indivisible believer that is DZ a para todos indivisible with liberty and justice for all you okay it's so bad damn it dude fuck lay off the pot dude fuck you tell me laughs I just said it in two languages you can even get it in English hey fuck me yeah that's why I say fuck fuck you for making us do that and fuck me more important importantly for being a piece of fucking shit hey hey don't take your – are yourselves everyone else listening save the Pledge of Allegiance today and thank God live in America amen brother well done all right catch you later

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