Jeffy: Tacos gave me diarrhea, diarrhea, DIARRHEA! Tacos gave me diarrhea and it is in my pants! Mario: Jeffy, stop it! Don’t sing about stuff like that it’s gross! (BTW, all of the parenthesis are from iSunnyD) (doorbell rings) Jeffy: Somebody is at the door, at the door, AT THE DOOR! Somebody is at the door, and there is diarrhea in my pants! Mario: (sighs) Why jeffy? Mario: Uh, hello? Goodman: Give it to me… Mario: Give what to you? Goodman: Your house payment, Mario! Mario: It’s not due till midnight and it’s only eight o’clock! Aka 8pm Goodman: It’s midnight somewhere in the world! Mario: Well, look, I don’t know if I’m gonna be able to make my payment tonight…(You gone done the wrong thing Mario) Goodman: Mario, if you don’t pay your house payment by midnight tonight… Do you know what I’m gonna do to you? Mario: What? Goodman: Purple Nurple. (oh no). Mario: What? Purple Nurple? Goodman: I’m gonna take your nipple in this hand, see this hand, Mario? I’m gonna take your nipple and TWIST REALLY HARD!! I’m gonna take this hand and pick up where I left off and TWIST REALLY HARD!!! I’m gonna take this hand one more time, see this hand? Mario, see it? Bring it around town and SQUEEZE AND TWIST REALLY HARD!! And in this hand one more time, pick up where I left off, and TWIST REALLY HARD This hand Mario, one more time, look at this hand, watch it, bring it around town and TWIST REALLY HARD!( (sounds of constipation) I’m gonna rip your nipple clean off your chest Mario. You see right here?(ouch) What do I have in my hand? Your nipple. Guess what I’m gonna do with you’re nipple Mario?( I don’t wanna know) Ah. (makes eating noise) ( this will make me throw up) Yummy your nipple. (Goodman, you are messed up) Mario: Tha- that seems like its gonna hurt… Oh yeah. I’ve only done it twice in my life before. The guy, the guy I did it to guess what his name is? Mario: What? Goodman: No Nipple Tim. Guess how many house payments No Nipple Tim has missed? Mario: How many? Goodman: Zero. Hold up, why would Goodman do that to Tim if he never missed a house payment? So if you miss your house payment tonight Mario, your nickname is gonna be No Nipple Mario. See you later, No Nipple Mario. It kinda has a ring to it. Cat Piano: Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow Mario: Aw, my Poor nipples… Jeffy: What’s wrong, Daddy? Mario: Well, Jeffy, if I don’t come up with $2,000 by tonight. I’m gonna lose my nipples!( In the worst way possible) Jeffy: Well I don’t have nipples, see?( Because you’re a plushy, Jeffy) Mario: That’s gross Jeffy. I just need quick money tonight… TV: Yo, yo, yo! Do you need money tonight? Then enter in your most fire rap song, into the rap song competition! And you could win $50,000 dollars! $50,000! Just to make some stupid little rap song! I can do it, it can’t be that hard. Okay. Uh, my name is Mario I really need some money if I don’t get it… Then my nipples will be goney? (You suck Mario!!) I don’t know! This is stupid! I’m gonna just ask Black Yoshi to do it… Hey Daddy I can make a rap! No, you can’t Jeffy. Yeah, I can daddy. I just need a saxophone. Wha, a saxophone?( Oh boy, here we go) *Epic sax solo* YASSSS!!! Wanna See My Pencil? x4 Hey Daddy, wanna see my pencil? I stick it in my nose, until it hits the middle. It’s yellow, it’s special. It tastes like a pretzel. I hit it on my head to make it instrumental! I mental, I’m crazy, diaper like a baby, who’s the Easter Bunny? You know that is my daddy! My rhymes are freaking hot! You weren’t even ready. I got my jammies on, I’m ready for bed! Wanna See My Pencil? Wanna See My Pencil? Wanna See My Pencil? Wanna see my pencil? (7x) C A T P I A N O S O L O *Uh Noise* Back on the track, These hoes, I smack, These haters can’t kill me, you know that’s a fact! My diaper I pat, My Piano is a cat! I see a can of green beans, and i hit it with a bat! Always wear my helmet, don’t have to ride a bike! These bullies wanna try me, but you know we’re gonna fight! People say they hate me, well they can take a hike! I just schooled these haters, now lemme drop the mic! Wanna See My Pencil? (x4) Wanna see my pencil? (x7) Do you want to see my pencil?! So daddah, Wadya Think? Jeffy that was ridiculous! I can’t believe you submitted that! You’re not gonna win! Maaaan Daddah stop hatin’! When that beat drops, It’s gonna be straight fire! It’s gonna be top on charts, and tastin farts! Ima need a snorkel. A snorkel, for what? For all the wet Kitty I’m gonna be swimming in. Wet kitty? Oh yeah, I’m talking wet, soaking wet. MEOW ?????? Who’s that? Jeffy, just stay right here. all right daddy. Hello? Hey is Jeffee here? Jeffy is here! 🙂 No No, Not no Jeffy. JayFee! Look anyway, I got $50,000 that he won in a rap content. WUH! He actually won the contest?? Yeah Man! Oh well come on inside! Alright, so uh, sit right here. JEFFY! JEFFY GET IN HERE! So Jeffy Really Won? Yeah, he sent us the HARDEST Rap song. What’s up ball sniffers? Jeffy, you won the 50-thousand dollar rap contest! I knew that bit was hot! Yeah, you beat everyone in the competition! So here’s 50K who is that? Uh I Don’t Know… Hold on, I’ll get it. Uh hello? YO Mario! Is the rap judge here! Rap Judge? Well theres a guy here givin us 50K For a rap song. Wha? MOVE OUT THE WAY! Man! Look at all this paper! Yep! and its all yours! Wait! Not so fast! Who are you? MAN SOMEBODY GET THIS SKID MARK OFF MY TABLE! I’m Toad and I need to submit a song to the contest! Don’t waste your time. Well. Yeah, he’s right It’s kind of too late to submit a song But I kind of do want to hear another song so go ahead. send me a song. Let me see OH MAN WHO LET THE [email protected] OUT? HA HA! OH I NEED ALL GIRLS TO GET BONKERS BABY! JUST SHAKE IT! BABY TWERK IT, SHAKE IT, DO IT FOR THE MONEY BABY. FOR THE MONEY BABY TWERK IT, SHAKE IT, MOVE DEM CHEEKS, TWERK IT, SHAKE IT, MAN YO BUTTS FOR WEEKS! TWERK IT, SHAKE IT, I NEED A SNEAK PEEK! I WAS STUDYING THAT BOOTY, I’M KINDA LIKE A GEEK! Studdy ASS, JONY HAD A SEIZURE (idk), Flow So SLICK, I think i got the measles! Booty make me hungry i need little caesars! Move it for the money girl! You all most legal! (God or something) SHAKE IT FOR THE MONEY, DON’T WORRY BOUT THE BUDGET BABY. Got a bunch of cash pound in the bucket baby! Dis song about butt, if you didn’t know the subject baby! Turn that ass like you just bought some megas baby? (hes hard to understand) TAG, YOUR IT, DAT BOOTY I’M CHASING, BOOTY GOT INSURANCE GO HEAD AND BREAK IT. BOOTY LIKE A TREASURE, IT’LL BE HARD TO TAKE IT I MEAN THAT ASS IS ON FIRE! STOP DROP AND SHAKE IT! (x1). TWERK IT, SHAKE IT, DO IT FOR THE MONEY BABY (x2). DO IT FOR THE HUNDREDS BABY, FOR THE HUNDREDS BABY TWERK IT, SHAKE IT, DO IT FOR THE MONEY BABY (x3). DO IT FOR THE HUNDREDS BABY, FOR THE HUNDREDS BABY OKAY, YA KNOW I LIKE DAT ASS, BRING IT BOOKS (IDK) IM FLYIN FIRST CLASS. I’M STUDYING SOME TURBULENCE, OH WAIT THAT’S HER ASS. CHEEKS TOO BIG GONNA MAKE ME CRASH, BUT I HAVE CONTROL, DON’T MAKE ME GET THE PADDLE! Shake that ass for me, i hope its not hassle. MOVE IT LIKE YOUR AT IT, I’LL GET YOU A SADDLE! SHAKE IT REAL FAST, JUST LIKE A BABY’S RATTLE PUT YOU ON SCREEN, YOU COULD BE A NIGHTCLUB WHIP IT LIKE A SLAVE BABY GIRL, CALL ME MASTERS. Prayin for some booty, (unintelligible) as a pastor Wind it up baby, and the f is for faster (if anything is wrong, its because i can’t understand them :/) Shake it, Shake it, and dont forget to drop it, dat ass to big, girl you know I’m bein honest! Make them cheeks shine, like they gettin polished Twerk for you tuition for college.
Toad: TWERK IT, SHAKE IT, DO IT FOR THE MONEY BABY, FOR MONEY BABY WHOA! THIS SONG CHANGES EVERYTHING! DIS SONG IS FIRE! Wh- What’s going on? Man dis song’s so good… it might be a tie! A TIE ARE YOU HIGH!!?? (Here’s another one rhymes) Wha a tie? IT CANT BE A TIE! You already said Jeffy Won! Look Look Look, Its so good, I think Toad put up a good fight! Yeah mine is good, right? Wa Wa Wait, so so if the songs are tied, how are we gonna settle this? Huh, I Don’t know… maybe we should call the fire department to see whose song is the most fire! MARIO: wa wa Okay, so I got a call about a fire. Yeah, we want you to see which song is the most fire! What, which song is the most fire? Yeah? Yeah. Wha-, So you’re telling me. There’s no actual fire here No, we we just want you to see which song is better which song is the most FIRE! All right just play the songs. okay. (the sound of a blazing fire) UH, Yeah both of those songs are pretty fire. I think I got third-degree burns on my face. So which song was the most fire? Huh well they were both pretty fire, but I got a thing for butts so I’m gonna go with that one Wahoo! I won! THATS B.S! Yeah, Jeffy’s song was better. Well the firefighter has spoken. I’m gonna go to the hospital now… Oh Man… Jeffy I Can’t believe you lost Well Jeffy. I guess you can say bye-bye to my nipples. Bye Bye Daddy’s nipples. I was supposed to get $2,000 by tonight. Oh well daddy i got this! $10,000??? Yep. Where’d you get that at Jeffy? Oh I stole it off the pile of money. (SAVAGE)Wha- you stole it? Yeah, I’m about that life. I’m on that gangster shiz. Well I guess my nipples are saved. YAY! Daddy’s nipples! Let’s Celebrate, daddy. Let me grab my hoes. Wha-? hoe? There you go Daddy, my main hoe! *best song ever* (Jeffy’s Rap 2, obivously) Captions by PokemonPlushUniversal, Hansen, BlankFlank, Natlie Chaet aka NDC, Omar Addus, RubberDaduckey, and Tom Clover