I don’t know why you came in my life. My life is ruined because of you. You’re not ashamed of anything.
– Then what do I do? You get drunk and abuse me. I hate you. My biggest mistake in life
is that I married you. Men can never understand
the emotions of a woman. I want divorce. Paro! (Brakes squeal) It’s said that pairs are made in heaven. The line perfectly suits
Mr. Chunilal and Paro. Two jovial persons met.
They fell in love. And finally they had a love marriage. They settled down happily. But, with time cracks
appeared in their relationship. Why did you bring me back to this hell? Don’t know who cast an
evil eye on their happy life. I hope your hands are not wet. Where’s your hand? Leave it.
Bye. You never cook for me. She brings food for me.
– That’s very good. Do you think it’s right to come home
with another woman in drunken state? The small tiffs became
serious with time. What do you’ve to say about
your chatting session with men? Their arguments intensified. Can’t you answer me? I’m tired of shouting your name. Friends turned into foes. I’m not your servant that I’ll be at
your service the moment you call me. Their hatred for each other grew. I wish the men also had a maiden home
and I would’ve gone there. Their heavenly abode turned into hell. (Glass shatters)
– The matter became so serious.. ..that they were not ready
to see each other’s face. They came to my office
for divorce one day. I’m a divorce specialist advocate.
I’ve got 99 couples divorced. This is my hundredth case. But, it changed my thoughts. They didn’t change
so I exchanged their souls. Chunni’s soul in Paro’s body
and Paro’s soul in Chunni’s body. I’m in Chunni’s body. It means Chunni is in my body. How did this happen? Paro is in Chunni and Chunni in Paro. Oh god! (Screams) What happened, mister and missus? How did our bodies change? Have you come back to your senses now?
– What? I did this. I was going to Goa with
my wife before your hearing date. We died in an accident. My wife and my soul reached heaven. I got people divorced when I was alive.. ..but I got divorced after death. My wife went inside heaven
but I was denied entry. I got to pay a heavy price
for the divorces got done for money. Oh god! What’s this? Why did you deny me entry? This is not your court.
– Are you the judge? Move aside. Let me go inside. Your wife is getting a massage done. But, your entry pass is with me. You got people divorced only for money. You’re in this plight because
of the curses of man married couples. Sorry. Please forgive me. Please take some bribe
and settle the matter. Please let me go inside. How dare you try to bribe God? You must do something for me.
– What do I need to do? You’ve committed a lot of
sins by getting people divorced. Try to get rid of those sins. Help Paro and Chunni patch up
and stop them from divorcing. Only then I’ll allow you inside.
– That’s a small job. Keep the gates open. I’ll be back soon. Isn’t this fun?
– Give our bodies back to us. Love each other the way you used to.. ..and only then you’ll
get your bodies back. There was no water at home so I took
bath in the sauna and so got late. Today’s meeting is very important.
– Are you worried? Go and have a cup of coffee.
I’ll smoke a cigarette. Actually you look more tensed than me. Do I look tensed?
– A lot. Stop over-acting. Let’s go. Hey driver,
please tell me where I’ll find Naresh. Hi Naresh.. All of them are busy wasting their time. Excuse me. where’s Naresh? Were you Naresh earlier? They’ve bought mobiles on EMI
and are enjoying with wifi connection. Our people can’t handle free objects. Have you lost connection? Are you connected?
– I’ve also lost connection. Oh no! Even I’ve lost
the wifi connectivity. I’m ruined. Oh no! I narrowly missed the cup. The connection went
off at the wrong time. My girlfriend was about to kiss me. I joined this company because
they provide free wifi connection. Now there’s no connection. Are you aware of your responsibilities? The wifi connection is down
since the past one and half minutes. Will you die if there’s no internet? You’re rich yet you’re mad
after wifi connection. You can wreck havoc with
wifi connection if you can. We’ve been blessed with technology
so that we can do our job fast. A three hours’ job should
get done in one hour. But, you’re taking three days to do it. Earlier we were ruled by Mughals,
followed by British.. ..then the companies ruled us
and now we’ve become slaves to wifi. The router is the cause of all problems. If you work hard you’ll save
enough money for hair transplant. He’ll be settled for life. That’s why I switched off the wifi. What did you say? You turned off the wifi?
– You? Yes, I did it. Where’s the fool who provides
you with free ac, internet and salary? The fool is standing here. Hello, sir.
– Hello, sir. People criticize the
ministers behind their back. Do you want to criticize me on my face?
– No. I’ve learned from my wife
never to criticize anyone directly. Stop your nonsense
and let’s talk business. Good! We’ll do this project.
– Thank you, sir. Thank you, sir. Wow! Wonderful! You would’ve definitely won
the Oscar award for Indian dresses.. ..if there was any such award, Paro. But before that I should
get the chance to participate in.. ..the wedding collection competition. You’ll definitely
get a chance this year. It’s my promise.
– Thank you so much. Get the designs ready.
– I’m working on them. I’ll send you the pictures
once they’re ready. Okay. See you soon.
– Thank you. Maggie, anything wrong?
– Yes, madam. In my opinion the
blouse should be shorter. Stop giving your suggestions. I’m hungry. Order noodles. (Phone rings) Hello. I’ve been calling for a long time.
Where are you? I’ll leave in ten minutes. Where will we meet? The same place where
we met on the first day. I convinced the MD
and he gave me the project. Congratulations! I’ll get the fashion award this year.
Thank you. I’ll meet you in ten minutes. Chunni called me.
He has bagged the project. Paro also called me. She has got the chance to
participate in the fashion show. Where’s he who lives
on his wife’s income? Look, the fool is here. Hey Chunni! How are you? How are you? Have you come alone? Hello, madam. Where’s Paro?
– Wait, I’ll take it out. What happened?
– Look there. She has come. Hi, Rajesh.
– Hi! Hi! Hi! I was getting a hair cut done
at the salon when you called me. Why did you urgently called me? She behaves as if I’m not her husband
but discarded underwear. Everybody feels the same after marriage. Learn to follow whatever
your wife says and you’ll be happy. He’s never happy to see me happy. He never wears the shirt of my choice. What else should I do to make her happy? She wakes me up on Sundays
and asks me to make breakfast for her. She also said that my moustache
hurts and asked me to get rid of it. His moustache pricks me like needles. I’ve seen husbands who make
breakfast for their wives every day. The other name of marriage
is compromise. Even enemies can compromise
but not a married couple. Do you know that he never
took me out for a vacation? He’s always concerned about his needs. He doesn’t remember our anniversary. Forget our anniversary he
doesn’t even remember my birthday. Did you hear that?
It’s just too much. Pallavi she’s nagging him.
– No. It’s your friend’s mistake. I know my friend very well.
He’s a gem of a person. It’s your friend’s fault.
– What’s her mistake? Chunni doesn’t even
remember Paro’s birthday. If I forget your birthday
how will you feel. Even I don’t remember her birthday. I may land in trouble.
Let’s change the topic. What happened, Rajesh?
Where are you lost? Look, I’ve known Chunni since childhood. I’m sure it’s his mistake. Forget it. Why should we get
involved in their personal matter? Let’s not waste time. I love you, darling. We’ll celebrate your
birthday on cruise this year. So sweet!
Let’s go out for a movie. Thank god.
Handling girls is like flying kites. I don’t know when Chunni
will learn to fool girls. Paro darling,
we got a call from Rajesh’s house. Hs mother is sick. Okay. I’ll leave now. Bye.
– Okay. She’s very stubborn. Take a wide shot, okay? Sir.. sir.. What’s this?
Do you want me to hurl tomatoes at you? Did you never stand
in a queue for ration? Boys, back off. Girls, come in front. Great! Have you all taken bath? I can see that this girl has
the qualities of becoming a lawyer. I’ll make you a lawyer like me.
You just need to practice. After that your life will be set. Oh sir.. Your life is not yet settled
and you want to help them settle down. I know yet I’m proud. Have you forgotten that I picked you up
from the slums and made you a lawyer? Sir.. I’ve a request. Stop teasing me by saying
I hail from the slums. You’ve made my shoes dirty.
– No! Should I wipe them clean on your head?
– No, sir. Have mercy on me and leave. Till date some other lawyer held the
record of getting 75 couples divorced. But, you’ve created a new record
by getting 99 couples divorced. How do you feel? I’m flying high like the birds. But, I don’t deserve the credit. The husbands and wives who fought with
each other helped me attain this feat. Sir, you’ve separated 99 loving couples. Don’t you feel ashamed? One who feels ashamed is finished. I’ve forgotten what shame is. I’m shameless and now I’m
going to get the 100th divorce done. Even God can’t stop me now. Hey guy, is everything ready?
– Yes, sir. But.. Why are you feeling shy? Am I your wife? Sir, Subrata’s wife wants
to withdraw the divorce appeal. She said that your
remuneration is very high. She wants to withdraw.. Did I say anything when the
price of the veggies increased? Everybody has started complaining when
I’ve increased my remuneration. Sir, she’s Subrata’s wife. Hello.
– Hello, sir. I don’t want divorce. My husband is a very nice person. I appealed for divorce out of anger. What about my daughter’s
future if I get divorced? I can’t even stitch clothes. I swear that I never let go
of any case that came to me. I’ve promised my wife
that I’ll take her to Goa.. ..and we’ll enjoy corns on the beach. If I don’t take her for a vacation
I’ll have to find a lawyer for myself. Who will get me divorced?
Who will fight my case? I can’t afford myself. Let’s go. Sir, get me divorced when I get married. But, pleas withdraw her case. I’ve got an idea.
– Okay. I’ll get her divorced quickly.
– Sir.. And then you can marry her.
– Sir.. Come to me after that. I’ll get you divorced and complete
my century and then leave for Goa. Sorry, sir. We can’t be emotional in our profession. If you become emotional again then.. ..I’ll deduct your salary. Got it? My dear judge sir.. No, sir. That’s all, Your Honour. Mr. Ghartode (home-breaker),
the sad story that you just narrated.. ..has melted my heart too. So, they should get divorced. Darling, shop for the
bikinis today for the Goa trip. I’ve won the case.
– Wow! Congratulations! Your husband is not an ordinary lawyer. I’ve one more case. The couple has gone inside
to get married. I’m waiting outside. I’ll get them divorced and come to you. Get ready to celebrate
my birthday in Goa. See you. bye. Get up and he’ll give you a discount.
– Sit down. Please say something. I want divorce from this man. Normally our thoughts don’t match
but I too want divorce from her. The remuneration will
increase if you act smart. There was a time when I was
head over heels in love with her. My father hated her. Do you know what he said about her?
– How would I know? Papa, please tell them. Old man, speak up.
– Please tell us, uncle. My dad didn’t allow me
to have a love marriage. How can your dad allow you? If you marry her, I’ll disown you
and give the property to Babulal. Dad, I don’t want
a share in your property. Ginger tea is enough for me. Why is auntie not saying anything?
Is she mute? Mom.. Tell us, auntie. Son, you know how ruthless your dad is. Do you want to kill me? I think auntie is a big fan
of dacoit Phulan Devi. I’m also a big fan of hers. I’m poor man’s Shah Rukh Khan. I left my family for my love
and settled down with her. Give me your parents’
aadhar card number.. ..and we’ll file a case against them
for disowning their son. That was just VFX. We lived in a slum. I also live in a slum. Sir, everybody from my dad
to my maid tried to dissuade me. Do you know what my grandma said? How would I know? Grandma..
– Speak up, grandma. Old woman..
– She is short of hearing. Speak up, grandma. Dear, if you elope and get married.. ..people will spit on us
and our house will turn into a pond. I’ll cancel your name
from our documents. If I get married to anybody then
it’ll be him or I’ll commit suicide. I was a fool not to listen
to my grandma’s advice. Love marriages are never full proof.
It has been proved. Great! What has he done? He has tortured me so much
that I can’t count them. He has ruined my life. Sir, I’ve even cooked for her. Every man does it.
Even sir cooks for his wife. Shut your dirty mouth. Help me get rid of him. When did you get married? 15th August.
– It’s 17th, sir. It was a dry day so I proponed the date. Did you see?
He doesn’t remember his wedding date. He doesn’t even remember
his wife’s birthday. Forget about my birthday,
he doesn’t even know my phone number. It’s at the tip of my tongue, sir.
– Say it. 98490..
– What next? 5678910111213 You’re counting numbers for us when
we asked you to tell her phone number. I know all the numbers from
1-100 except her phone number. Don’t lie. You can ask him hundred times
but he won’t be able to tell you. Ask Divya’s number and he’ll tell you. I remember only her phone number.
I don’t know about the other numbers. Who’s Divya?
– His colleague. He has started ignoring me
because of that witch. I gifted you a sari and tried to
convince you that she’s just a friend. Hello! Is she a close friend
or casual friend? Sir wants clarity. Somebody from which I can’t
stay away and can’t get too close. He treated me like
a queen before marriage.. ..but after marriage
he completely changed. You won’t believe that he doesn’t
even apply balm when I get a headache. She holds her hips tightly
when she gets a headache. I asked her where I should apply
the balm on her hips or forehead? And she started testing me. She said, “If you truly love me
find where it’s hurting.” She keeps giving directions
as if I’m on a treasure hunt. If she loves me then why can’t
she find my underwear in the morning. He spends more money on his
cigarettes than what he gets on salary. The house appears
like a cigarette factory. The cancer ads shown on
television has no effect on him. If you try to stop him
he goes in the toilet and smokes. Sir, do you know that he
never praised the dress I wear? I long to hear some words
of appreciation from him. I complimented your petticoat
the other day. – Oh yes! He said, “Divya, your beauty
is like fire, it can burn anyone.” That’s a compliment. Sir, you forgot that
I’m Paro and not Divya. Oh god! What are you scribbling? Tell me Divya’s number
and I’ll note it down. You’ll go crazy in her love. I’ll be crazy in her love
and will loot her. Sir, how do you address your wife? Sir and his wife are
like parrot and the cuckoo. He lovingly calls her Dark cuckoo.
Isn’t it? If I say that you look handsome
in this black coat and.. ..I would like to romance you.. How would you feel? Who are you talking about?
– Ask her. Madam, share your problem with me.
Don’t land me in trouble. Sir, she’s a trouble-maker. It’s her hobby to turn
joys into sorrows. Her blood report will show
complaints instead of hemoglobin. What’s that?
– It’s used for cleaning bathroom. Is it? This is Maths question.
– I read about it in History. In history?
– Yes. Have you forgotten?
– Sir, he has confused you too. His brain is full of shit.
I’ll go mad if I stay with him. I want divorce from him. What will she do?
I’ve decided. I want divorce. After hearing your nonsense
this award winning lawyer.. ..has arrived at the decision
that both of you are unhappy. I’ll be at peace after
getting you divorced. It’ll be my hundredth case. I’ll hold a record in the Guinness Book. That’s great!
I’ll be the hundredth free man. You’ll get divorced
even if you want it or not. I’ll prepare the documents. Everything will get done in a week. Tolerate each other for the time being. I’m going to Goa to pray
that the case ends successfully. I’ll pray for you in the temple in Goa. Thank you, sir. (Door bell rings) (Sighs) Will you tell me why you’ve come here? Where else will I go? When we’re getting divorced
why should we stay under the same roof. Okay, I’ll book the tickets tomorrow. Are you going to your native place?
Will you do farming there? No. I’ll send you there forever. No. why shall I go?
I’ll stay here. This is my house.
– It is also my house. I made a big mistake
by buying this house with you. It’s a bigger mistake to stay with you. Then why don’t you go?
Who told you to stay back? Give me my share and I’ll leave. How will I get such a huge sum? Then why are you bragging? (Glass shatters) Congratulations!
– Congrats! Go! Look there. Let’s click a photo there.
– Okay. Let’s go.
– Okay. (Camera clicks) (Camera clicks) This one looks light. By a heavy one.
– I don’t like it. Move. How is it?
– Superb! Okay.
– You’ve made me spend a lot of money. Bye.
– It’s a beautiful set. What are you doing, darling?
– Nothing. Busy with work. Can’t you miss me when you work?
– Not possible. You won’t change. Have you missed me even once today? I can never forget
you that I’ll miss you. It’s done. We won the last match. Feed her.
– C’mon feed her. Feed here. Here you go. (Laughs) You’ll pay the bill this time.
– Give it to me. Give it to me.
– It’s sweet now. Drink it. Your favourite plant. Hold this and hug me. Spray it. Here. Hey! I’m here.
– You’re too much. This is for you and this is for me.
– Wow! Matching. (Door bell rings) Hey! Hi! Who are you?
– I’m wondering who you are. Hey ! Why are you going inside?
– Perfect! Hello! Let’s click your biceps. Why are you clicking photos? I’ll put it on social media.
– Social media. Do you’ve a washing machine? I also want a dishwasher. If there’s no ac in the
kitchen then install one. I want an induction oven
and not a normal gas oven. Who are you? Didn’t you read about me on Wikipedia?
– She’s a maid. Mind it! Don’t abuse me by calling me maid. My name is Suchitra. Call me Suchi. I think she’s an educated maid. Where’s ‘chicken’?
– You mean kitchen? It’s over there. It’s time for my protein shake.
I’ll be back soon. Look in front.
– Here it is. Isn’t it good? Don’t eat it.
I’ll make one for you in five minutes. You look great in blue.
– You’re being very sweet. Be less sweet. I kissed my wife. Sit down.
– You’re very naughty. And then she told her name. Look at her!
– Stop it. Take this.
– She’s very naughty. Excuse me.
– Yes. Here. You pulled my scarf first.
– No.. And then I took out the shirt.
– Naughty! You’re very mischievous.
Shut up! Where’s my lunch box?
– Here it is. Did you keep pickle in it?
– There’s pickle there. Pack it. How long will you take?
– 10 minutes. Suchi, my lunch should
be ready by 8 tomorrow. Get my lunch ready by 5:45. The breakfast should be on table at 6.
– I need my coffee by 5. Do you want me to leave my husband alone
in the night to come here to cook. Don’t you think you’re
demanding too much? Leave your husband.
– When will you give my salary? Yes. what did you say?
– He ran away. He ran away the moment
I asked for salary. I’ll give you salary. Finish my work
first and then do his work. Madam, you can’t buy Suchi with money. The lunch box is ready. Go to office. Madam, please send my salary
through NESS, I want to have pizza. It’s NEFT and not Ness. You got it right. That’s enough. Madam, hold on. Take your lunch box.
– Thank you. The real tiff is going to start now. The one who cleans
the car will drive it. Drop me on the way. I don’t work as anybody’s driver. Don’t forget that I gave
the car’s down payment. But, I re-fuel it.
– And I pay for the gas. Stop it, crazy woman. The tiffs of the husband and wife
gives me headache. The bank will take the car
if the EMI is not paid on time. Why should I bother? I’ll go and cook.
– (Car engine starts) My mind is in a mess.
– Yes. It’ll be great if I get music therapy. Well, let’s warm up.
– Yeah! (Music starts) Stop. Stop it!
– (Music stops) (Giggles) Now, it’s time for my song. Start music. (Music starts) Stop it!
– (Music stops) I told you to stop dancing
and not stop working. Get back to work. Where are you going? It was great, Chunni.
– So, you loved my moves? No. I loved your project.
– Oh! Keep it up. Well, you’ve a strong body. I don’t know how his
family tolerates him. Guys, it’s Mira’s birthday party
tonight. Are you all coming?
– Why not? We’ll come. Chunni, is Paro going to come?
– How do I know? Please. Call her if you want her
to attend the party. “Happy birthday to you.” “Happy birthday to you.” “Happy birthday to you.”
– Happy birthday. “Happy birthday to you.” (Camera clicks) Divya, you look like a switched off
bulb after getting drunk. What are you saying, bro?
You always make fun of me. (Laughs) Enough! Enough of this. What are you doing here instead
of enjoying the party, Chunni? I’m not in good mood. I’ve been noticing you
for the past few days. You look very upset. You can share with me
if you’ve any problem. If you can’t share with me
then share it with Paro. Paro is the cause of my problems. My day begins with her taunts. My day ends with us sleeping separately. We face each other only on social media. My mood gets spoilt when I see her face. If I praise her falsely
to make her feel good.. ..but she retaliates harshly. She has made my life hell. I’ve tried my best
but she won’t change.. ..because there’s a fault
in her upbringing. Stop it! Paro, I was..
– Please. Is this what your parents taught you? You’re sharing your problems
with your wife with another woman. And you think there’s fault
in my upbringing? Don’t you feel ashamed?
I’m your wife. She’s not a stranger. Neither do parents nor
do children have the right.. ..to interfere in a married
couple’s life. You’re discussing our
personal issues in public. You’re a very degraded person. Paro, don’t create a scene here. You think I’m creating a scene here
by pointing out your mistakes. As if you were showering praises on me. It’s right when you do it
but when I do the same it’s wrong. Stop it. Enough of all this. I don’t want to stay here.
Let’s go home. Take out the car. Take the keys and go. You know I can’t drive
and so you’re giving me the keys. Do you want to kill me? I always wish her well-being
but she thinks I’m her enemy. Quarrelsome witch.
– Please Chunni. Please drop her home for me.
– I’ll drop you only for her. Let’s go. (Phone chimes) Oh! It’s Divya’s message.
Stop the car and reply her. I don’t have the strength
to argue with you. But, you had the energy
to fight with me before Divya. It would’ve been better
to send you home by an auto. Okay. Drop me here and go back to her. She must be waiting for you.
– Shut up! You shut up! Stop the car.
– No. I said stop the car.
– No. Okay. I know how to jump out.
– Hey! (Brakes squeal) Hey! You would’ve been dead if
you jumped out. Do you know that? You would’ve been
happy if that happened. Paro, go and sit in the car quietly. No, I won’t.
How will you go home? By cab.
– The drivers at night aren’t decent. I’ll be safe with the drivers. Have you brought me
this far to say this? Hello! This is my car. You’re just the driver.
You followed me. I felt the driver was a creep.
So now I’ll hire a cab. I’ll strangulate you.
– Hey! Don’t hit her. You? Get us divorced right now.
– I’m coming directly from Goa. Lawyer, did you see
how she’s overreacting? I know I was talking harshly. But, do you think you
were talking sweetly? You find fault in everything I do. She has accepted her faults. You’re a devil.
– Stop your nonsense. Don’t spoil my mood.
– What are you doing? If anybody sees you fighting
like this you’ll land in trouble. They’ll take the video
footage from the CCTV cameras.. ..and upload it on social media. They’ll earn millions with your video. You’ll be insulted. I’ll go to your house tomorrow. We’ll sit and discuss the matter. Listen to me.. Mister, Missus..
please listen to your lawyer. (Yawns) Suchi, what are you doing? Treadmill, dumbbell and film, sir.
– Great! Three in one. I’m watching ‘Khajuring’.
– It’s ‘Conjuring’. It’s a ‘ceiling’ film, sir.
– It’s not ‘ceiling’, it’s thrilling. Why don’t you learn English
if you’re interested? I attend ‘smoking’ English
classes after doing dishes. It’s Spoken English classes
and not ‘smoking’ English. Don’t ‘shit’ in the morning.
– Oh no! It’s shout and not shit. I’ll go.
– Where’s the newspaper? Find it for yourself.
I’m not your maid. I don’t know if I’ve hired her
for work or if she has hired me. I’m destined to be surrounded
by evil women. Only the lawyer can
help me get rid of them. (Gasps) Sir! You won’t die soon. I was thinking of you
and you’re standing outside. Think of the devil
and the devil arrives. You’ve rightly assessed yourself.
Please come in. Please be seated. Would you like to have something? Get us divorced quickly
and I’ll throw a party in Goa. I’ve just returned from Goa.
Let’s go to Bangkok. I’ll take you to Pattaya. I can’t tolerate this man anymore. Both of us will be at peace
only after we get divorced. Ask for something else.
I can’t get you divorced. Why? Is the judge getting married?
– No. I’ll get peace of mind
if you live together happily. I can’t do it. Have you started a marriage bureau? I’m not joking.
I swear on my wife. The aircraft goes up
and down during the take off. I think you’re going
through something similar. I’ll clear off your mind
but before that I’ll relieve myself. Come quickly. Don’t forget me.
– I don’t take much time. (Gasps) Lawyer, please try
to understand my problem. Why are you shattering all my hopes? If you really want to shatter
anything then break our relationship. I can’t do it. We’re going to get divorced.
Why are you touching me? Let me talk to him. Sir, your photo has been
published in the newspaper. Are you going to be promoted as a judge? Crazy woman, read it properly. Renowned advocate Lokesh and
his wife died in a road accident. Where did he vanish? Ghost! It’s the lawyer’s ghost. Kanchana! Rajmahal! Help! Help! Where’s the ghost? They got scared after watching ‘Khajuring’.
– (TV switched off) They’ll die if they
watch the film ‘Kanchana’. ‘Chili’ (silly) fellows. I thought he jokingly
called himself the devil. Was it actually his ghost?
– I.. Mister.. be it a good or bad spirit,
it never lies. (Screams) Let’s go. Your wife never listened to me.
But you should at least listen to me. (Screams) Listen to me. Go away. Go away.
– Come on. Wait. ‘Glory to Lord Hanuman.’ Oh no! I’m in trouble. I’m going to die again after dying. ‘Glory to Lord Hanuman.’ Hello, Lord Hanuman. Salutations to you.
Hope you’re doing well. The souls are like avengers. Nothing affects us. I’m not here to hurt you. I’ve come with friendly suggestion
and that’s why you can see me. Why are you doing us this favour? That’s because you won the lucky draw. Have we won?
– No. You’ll win if you
follow my instructions. Please tell me.
– Tell us. I’ll tell you what exactly happened. I tried to overtake
while driving towards Goa.. ..and the Lord of Death took us away. (Car rammed) Oh no!
– What happened? Why are you dancing? Come inside. I want to go inside but
this digital security line.. I’ll die again if I’m alone without you. Come in.
– I’m trying.. don’t go away. She left. What kind of injustice is this?
God, what have you done? Why are you shouting?
– Who are you? My one and only wife..
– Your wife is enjoying in heaven. But, I’ve stopped you. Who are you? You look like a traffic constable. But, you’ve separated a married couple. This is absolutely wrong. Are you an actor? Are you actually God?
– Hmm.. Oh my god! Greetings to you. You’ve come to receive me at the gate.
What an honour! I’ve a small doubt. Why are you talking in local
language instead of chaste language? I was in bad mood and
I thought I would chill. Heaven was a no smoking zone. I started wondering what I could do. ‘Gully Boy’ was the recently
released film and I watched it. My language changed
after watching the film. I speak in the local street language.
I can’t help it. That’s’ great.
Please allow me to enter heaven now. My people were praising you a lot. I’m a renowned lawyer from earth. In my short span of life
I got 99 people divorced. I had to get only one couple
divorced to complete century. The people from Guinness Book of Records
were going to come to interview me. I was supposed to break
all records after the Goa trip. Please give my return ticket.
– Brother, we’ve a technical problem. You got the couples
divorced for petty reasons. If you wanted you could’ve
averted the divorces. I’ve evidence that you fooled and took
a lot of money from innocent people. I did my job.
I did my job and then worshipped. I learned it from you.
– Don’t try to fool me. Did you do wrong things or not? Sorry, lord. Please forgive
my mistake and let me join my wife. Really? But, you need
to repent for your mistakes. What do I have to do? You were supposed to make a century with
Paro and Chunni’s divorce. Right? Go to them.
Try to convince them not to divorce. That’ll help to repent for your sins. After that you can roam around
with your wife. Oh my God! That’s an easy job. It’ll be very easy to get them back. (Snaps finger) Lord, I’ll go and come back soon. This is my story. If you listen to me for half an hour.. ..then I’ll get both of you together
and enter heaven. Impossible! Forget about achieving it in this life. Son..
– You can’t do it any birth. I don’t want to take birth again,
I want to go to heaven. (Snaps finger) Who’s snapping his fingers?
– (Snaps finger) O lord! You got deflated like a balloon. You were bragging a lot. Their salary will be deducted
if they’re late for office. So, they’re not giving me
any importance. I’ll go to office, sort out
the matter and send you the video. The clouds that thunder
don’t shower down. The same is the case with you.
– What if I do it? Then I’ll throw a party for you in heaven.
– With Maneka. His boss expired and he replaced him. This is called hitting
the iron when it’s hot. I’m advocate Jamkar Tode. How could I’ve got promoted
if my boss didn’t die? Eating vada pav leads to constipation. Smoking only can help me relieve myself. My son! You were thinking about me.
Tell me the truth. Why did you come inside
the toilet to know the truth? Sorry. Son! You forgot to flush. (Flush starts) Give it to me.
– No. I’m hungry. Pitrangi. Here you go. What is it? Suchitra’s Pitrangi soup.
– Suchitra Pitrangi. It’s tasty just like me. You didn’t add salt.
– I forgot. You didn’t add chili too.
– I forgot to add it. You forgot everything. Ginger, chili, garlic.
Get all of them I’ll add it. If you don’t increase my salary
I’ll continue doing this. Hi! You’ve come here again? You broke families when you were alive. You want to bring couples together
after death. You’re a two-faced man. Sir, with whom are you talking? I’m not talking to you.
Go to the kitchen. Who else is present
here except you and me? I’m talking to the devil.
Come, I’ll introduce him. Introduce me as a soul.
Why are you calling me devil? Hello, darling.
– With whom are you talking? You’re our maid. Mind your own business. (Scoffs) He never increases my salary. He pretends as if he’s
the richest man in the world. (Phone rings) Who is this?
– Jamkar Tode. Okay. There’s leakage in the bathroom.
Come and repair it. Don’t disconnect the call. I’m Jamkar Tode,
the assistant of Ghartode. We were like the devil and his assistant.
Do you remember me? Oh! The home breakers. It’s your assistant.
– Oh god! I’m on roaming.
Talk to him. Yes, tell me.
– There’s good news. Good news?
– Sir’s business was not going on well. So, he went to hell
to fight further cases. Yes, I know.
– How do you know? Who told you? He’s with me. I hope I didn’t connect with hell.
– What is it? I’ll fight your divorce case. My boss came in my dreams. He said that he’s in hell. I didn’t go to him. Lord of Death has beaten him
so hard that his hands have swollen. He can’t even clean himself. His soul will rest in peace
if I can get you divorced. He’ll get everything.
– Thank you, sir. Your assistant has got
promoted after your death. Got it, my lord. It’s a part of your plan. But, this idea won’t work. My assistant is a useless fellow.
He can’t get them divorced. My dear colleagues, I’ve called you
to share an important piece of news. Are you getting married, sir? Hey you! Get our wife, I’ll marry her.
Don’t you like the fact that I’m single? Son.. I want to say that.
– I don’t want to hear your nonsense. You always talk nonsense. Get lost. Chunnilal! What’s your problem? Some insect went in my ears.
I was talking to it. Concentrate on my words.
– Okay. Oh god! He’s so mean. We’ve earned a lot of profit
from our last project. I want all of you to reap
the benefits of the profit. Ain’t that great news? If you cooperate with me I’ll be
allowed in heaven and it’ll benefit me. But, we need to help each other. Why should I ruin
my life for your benefit? Chunnilal, what’s your problem?
What’s wrong with you? I’m talking on Bluetooth.
– You’re not even carrying a toothbrush. It has fallen down.
– Brother, don’t touch my feet. Who’s this fellow?
Is he your team leader? You may go. Thank you, sir.
– Okay. How do I solve the lawyer’s case? (Sighs) My dear fellow..
have you got a headache? Haven’t you left yet? Listen to me. Hold Paro tightly and hug her. You’ll fall in love again
and your divorce will be cancelled. It’ll be better if I commit suicide
than spending time with her. This is impossible. Both of you’re like extinguished lamps. At least think about
the fire in my life. Okay. Do something.
– What? Convince her.
If she agrees, I’ll also agree. God promise?
– Ghost promise. Chunni.. What happened? With whom were you talking
– No one. You were behaving strangely
during the meeting. And now you’re doing the same here. Are you angry with me? Can a bee be angry with honey? You know how to divert the topic.
– It’s time for a kiss. Since when are you romancing Divya? Why should I tell you?
Go and mind your business. Now I’ll take revenge. I’ve set the ghost after the witch. That was great politics.
Vote for me. Hello! (Screams) Why are you shouting so loudly? Did you see a ghost? What happened, madam?
– Nothing. Then why did you shout?
Did you see a ghost? I saw a flying cockroach. That’s all. Did you see a cockroach or a crocodile? Get back to your work. Go.
– Okay. Girl, I’ve a personal work with you. You don’t have any work with me. Get out of here quietly.
– Are you giving me leave? You’re so sweet. I’ll go out with my boyfriend.
– She’s so disturbing. Have you lost it?
Who’ll do the work if you take leave? Will your dad come and do the job? I’m hungry. Go and get sandwich for me.
– Okay. Please give me half an hour’s time. It’ll help this poor soul. Look Mr. Lokesh Ghartode, I’m not going
to spare even half a minute for you. Why is she jumping like a hen? I’ll file a police complaint. Tell me the reason why
you want to divorce him. I can give you thousands of reasons. Can you give me one reason
why I should stay with him? He’s a very nice person. Do you remember what you
told us when we visited you? You said that you’re not the son of
one father if you don’t get us divorced. Did I say that? You had said many other things.
– Oh mom! You promised to set us free
like birds but now you’ve escaped. You’re in bad mood right now. I’ll come back when your mood is good. Madam, I’ve noticed that
you were talking to yourself. Something is definitely wrong. I think you’re possessed. We need to get rid of it.
– You’re right. Do you know any witch-doctor
who can help me? My uncle is a witch-doctor. He lives nearby. If I share your problem
he won’t refuse to help you. Make a dress for his wife. That’s all.
– Okay, call him. (Door bell rings) The witch-doctor is here. Ghost!
– Get rid of the ghost. You’ll get a discount. He’s not a ghost, he’s a ghost-buster.
I’ve called him. He’ll help us get rid of the ghost. Hey! Are you Paro?
– Yes. Look at this.
This will help us get rid of ghost. Why are you shouting? Follow me.
– Yes. Come with me and order tea for me. He looks like a rat-killer. He won’t be able to
even get hold of my hair. Listen to me and unite.
– (Door bell rings) Who’s ringing the bell?
– I’ll go and check. Please pardon me. Mr. Chunni?
– Yes. I’m Mukherjee. I’m a Bengali.
– Oh! Come in. Here are all the spices
to get rid of the ghost. I think it’s a powerful ghost
and so they’ve called two people. Who’s this Bong guy?
– He’s a crazy scientist. He makes the ghost dance
on his little finger. Okay. So he’s the
choreographer of ghost. Got it. Leave him. Yes, leave him. Get lost. Get lost from here or
I’ll blind you with the spices. What’s going on? He’s disturbing the ghost. I’ll go.
– No. If he gets hold of the collar of
the ghost we’ll catch him by the shirt. He’ll do the hard work and
we’ll reap the benefits. Come on. Hey Ghost! Come here. He’s creating problems.
– I think I saw him at the bar. Your man won’t be able
to catch even a mosquito. Dada.. dada..
– The ghost is there. What are you doing there?
Come before me. He’s standing right in front of you. I’m running out of the powder.
Appear before me. Glory to Goddess Kali of Calcutta. Your blow won’t be wasted. Enough! Why are you disturbing me? I’m getting rid of the ghost.
– I’ll show you how to do it. There’s ghost in the house.
We need to make a temple there. We must make them fight for religion.
We’ve decided that we won’t do anything. We’ll get back to work
and teach you a lesson. (Snaps finger) He’s an idiot! Afghanistan. Kazakhstan.
Turkistan. Pakistan. Hindustan. My India is great. Come. It’s your turn now. Hush..
– What are you saying? Oh no! I’m finished. It’s working. Jhumritallaih. Oh no! I’m going to die. Yeah! Come on. Got him. Got him.
– He’s inside this. He’s inside this one. No, he’s in this.
– Shut up, you fool. He’s in this bottle. No, the ghost is inside the pot. Got it?
– You are mad. Whoever had caught him,
keep him captive. Don’t leave him. I’ve caught him. Give me the money. He’s lying.
It’s the smoke of hookah in his bottle. I’ve caught the ghost. Your one is useless.
My man has caught him. Don’t you feel ashamed of lying.
– My occultist has caught him. No, he has caught him.
– No. The ghost is in the bottle. No, he’s in this pot. What are you repeatedly saying?
What Bengali? “The ghost is neither
in the bottle not in the pot.” “I wanted to relieve myself
so I went to the toilet.” Girl. Boy. Why couldn’t they catch me? The neck of the bottle was
small so you didn’t fit inside. I can’t see anyone.
Whom are they talking to? Wait. what have you decided?
Who caught him? You or him? Look.. the one I caught.. Look what he’s saying all the time.
I’m sure he sells snacks on the streets. Stop it. Share the features
of the ghost in your pot. She’s an ancient ghost.
She’s very beautiful. – Okay. She belongs to the Harappan times. It’s his great grandmother
so I’ve hidden her. Dada, what about you? This ghost belongs to
the time before independence. We’ve managed to hold it captive now. Sir, he’s lying.
– Hold on. Ghost from pre-independence
and ancient times. Yes. Pay us or we’ll release it. Did you see what
they’ve turned you into? Why are you repeatedly looking back?
The ghost is here and not there. Shut up!
– How dare you slap an occultist? How do you live with him?
– You’re useless. Get lost.
– Leave me. Sir, I came here to be an actor. I didn’t get a break as an actor
so I pretended to be an occultist. Why are you hitting me? Doesn’t matter. Everybody is hitting me.
You can also hit me. Stop! I’m a fake one. Speak properly.
Apologize to him. Sir, forgive me.
I’ve made a mistake. I’ll never repeat this mistake. Are you from Nepal?
I’m from Gorakhpur. Let’s run from here. Run! (Door bell rings) It must be your friend.
– I won’t get up. Go and open the door. How are you?
Hope you’re fine. What do you want? Turn on the ac.
Let’s go inside and talk. Come in. Don’t make tea.
Get some cold juice for me. Oh my god! Have you taken leave
to disturb me today? Hello, madam. You’ve lost weight. But you look awesome. Hey! Though you wear a black coat
your intentions shouldn’t be dark. My intentions are very good. It’s Friday and an auspicious day. It’s my boss’ birthday. Have you come for donation to buy cake? No.. absolutely not. Today is his birthday
and my first working day. I’m very happy today. If you get divorced today then
no one will be able to unite you. 12:13 is an auspicious time for divorce. Idiot, will you get them divorced
and land me in soup? No one gets divorced
at an auspicious time. My boss used to follow
certain superstitions to win. Don’t take my name or I’ll hit you. I’ve purified these papers. Sign the documents.
– What’s going on? You’re trying to ruin me on my birthday. Useless fellow, you passed
your exam on the 12th attempt. You can’t even write your name properly. You know nothing and
yet you think you’re a lawyer. Do anything but don’t let him
fight your divorce case. Sir, why are you looking
there instead of looking at me? I hope you haven’t got squint eyes.
– I was thinking about the future. You’re a lawyer by profession
but you speak like a rogue. A barber will fight
our case better than you. Go and get a shave.
– Love you, my boy. To hell with you. How dare you suspect my qualities? I give tuitions to the judges. I enjoy my ride on the bike. I grew up in poverty
but I’ve a big heart. I studied under the street lights. I went to school in worn out uniform. I went to the municipality school. Whenever the teachers and professors
failed to solve a question.. ..I solved it. (Chuckles) They send gifts to me
on my birthdays even today. Shoes of right leg. Socks of left leg. Even my underwear.. ..has been gifted by them. I’ll share something with you.
Don’t share it with anyone. Tell us. My boss won 99 cases. But, I helped in 98 cases. I would’ve made him a judge
but he died an untimely death. I don’t know where he is.
– He’s sitting here. I mean his blessings
are always with you. Is this your mouth
or the municipality gutter? The moment it opens
bad odor spreads everywhere. I’m tired of hearing you. Don’t give him the case. You’ve a renowned lawyer
sitting in front of you. Why are you looking there
instead of looking at me? Let’s come to the point. Here are the papers I’ve purified. (Laughs) Sign them. No one can stop this divorce. You’re a thief, a robber. You’ve taken out the documents
from my bag after my death. I pray to god that
you get a better wife. Don’t worry about her, I’ll handle her. What did you see in her
that you married her? I also run a marriage bureau. I know may divorcee ladies. Sign these papers and
you’ll be divorced in ten days. This idiot is going to kill me. No son, don’t sign the paper. I beg of you. Please listen to me. My life will become hell. What are you thinking of?
– I’m begging before you. Don’t sign. Sign quickly.
– Show some mercy to this dead man. I’ll tell you about the offers
available in my marriage bureau. We’re offering free honeymoon trips. It’s done. Sir, bless me from hell. Thank you. My first case will be a successful one. I’m in soup. There’s good news. No, I’m not going to be a father. But, our company has done very well. After incurring loss for ten years.. ..we’ve earned profit of 101 rupees. (Applause) Now it’s time for music. Start. (Music starts) Very good, sir. Stop it!
– (Music stops) It could be possible
only because of you. Chunnilal will handle the next project. Thank you, sir. All the best to Chunni’s team.
– Thank you, sir. Good luck. Congrats!
– Thank you. Congratulations, Chunni.
– Thank you. Take it easy. I’m wearing
an expensive perfume. Thank you. Thank you everybody.
Thank you very much. (Sighs) I got rid of my wife
and also my bad luck. I’m doing well now. There’s going to be only
happiness in my life now. A party to everybody from me. (Music) (Brakes squeal) Chunni, get down. We’ve reached your home. Come on. Give me your hand.
I’ve held your shoulders. Hold me or you’ll fall down. Come to my house tomorrow.
We’ll enjoy drinks together. Slowly.
– We’ll add ice-cream to the drinks. We’ll sip it with a straw. (Door bell rings) Open the door.
– I told you to hold me. Your sweat smells sweet like perfume. Hi Paro!
– Shall I apply some? I lose my cool whenever
I hear the name Paro. Bye, Chunni. Bye, dear.
– Okay. You dropped me only to
the door and not to my room. Get lost. She keeps staring at me.
Unlucky girl. “I missed my train.” “I caught a flight.” Why didn’t you invite her
to come inside? You would’ve taken her to the bedroom
if I wasn’t at home. Oh! You respect me. Right?
– You’re an old model. I’ll being beautiful women
home from tomorrow. Shame on you. I left my family for a useless person
like you. I hate looking at you. Hey you! what did you say? Stop! Did I land here from the moon? Didn’t I leave my family for you? Men like you’ll never understand
the pain of women. You treat us like puppets. Okay. As if you understand
the problems that men face. You’ll never understand
the pain a man goes through. The sight of your face
is making me lose my cool. Become blind. – I’ll go away
once I get divorce from you. That’ll be a great favour. I got promotion after
signing the divorce appeal. I’ll become the President
after I get divorce from you. I’ll advice everybody not
to marry and just enjoy life. Get lost. I’ll make a law according to which
anybody who marries will be arrested. Oh lawyer! According to the witness and
the evidence we’ll soon get divorce. What about you? She’ll never agree to be with me
and nor will I. Forget about us. Find a nice cemetery for
yourself were you can enjoy.. ..the dance of women
and throw coins at them. But, from where will you get coins? Get lost.
Don’t disturb a fighting couple. The man is unable to understand
the pain and feelings.. ..of a woman and vice versa. (Thundering)
– Will they keep fighting all their life? God has given me a boon. I’ll use it. I’ll put Chunni’s soul in Paro’s body
and Paro’s soul in Chunni’s body. Only then they’ll
understand each other.. ..and they’ll resolve their problems. O God! I’ve done my job. Why do I’ve a different feeling? I’m Paro from inside but my
external appearance is like Chunni. Look what has happened. If I’ve become a man
then what has he become? Chunni..
– Who is it? Wake up quickly. I’m in Paro’s body.
– And I’m in your body. How did this happen? Our souls have exchanged bodies. You mean our bodies have changed.
– Yes. Has it changed?
– Yes. Where are you going?
Do you wish to jump out of the window? I look like a woman
but I’m actually a man. I look like a man
but I’m actually a woman. This is a big problem. Our bodies have got exchanged.
But, who did this? (Screams) What happened, guys? What’s all this? Your entire system has changed.
Isn’t it? I’ve done this. As you sow so shall you reap. Sit properly.
– Shut up! (Laughs) O God! What kind of test is this? So, you’ve given up. God, I’ve understood one thing. It’s easy to get a couple divorced.. ..but it’s difficult
to get them back together. Finally you’ve got it. That’s why the person who sells gum is
greater than the one who sells knives. What’s the use of this lecture now? You’ve done what I used to do. You’ve separated me from my wife. It’s very easy to separate two people
but it’s very difficult to unite them. I accept that I’m a fraud
but what’s the fault of my wife. She’s your devotee. You’re trying to use the
tactics of a lawyer with me? The women will stage
protests against me. (Laughs) Okay. I’ll give you a boon.
Go ahead and ask for it. If I get my wife back
I’ll get rid of Chunni and Paro. If I tell him to revert
the accident then.. ..I’ll get my wife back alive. That can’t happen.
– Why? If I could do that I wouldn’t
have been in the sky today. I had a girlfriend who died.. ..because her hand got stuck
in the sugarcane crushing machine. I’m restless to get
a glimpse of her even today. You’re god and you gave me
only one boon that too.. ..with so many terms and conditions. Please help me. I can’t help you.
– Really? Try to use your small brain. I’m going on vacation.
You can think about it in the mean time. What do I do? I’ll change their bodies. I begged before you
but you didn’t listen to me. You also rejected my proposal. So, I changed your bodies. From today you’re Paro
and you’re Chunni. Why did you do this? You gave me the idea. That’s why I thought of this option. Thank you for the idea. I gave you the idea?
– I gave it? Yes, both of you. Both of you didn’t feel the pain
and problems of the other one. Go and watch the flashback. Men will never feel the pain of a woman. You treat us like puppets. If you were a man you
would’ve understood my pain. Oh!
– Oh! I hope you got it now. He came home drunk with
the girl and so I was jealous. Hey! How will I work in your office? I’m feeling uncomfortable in his body. Love each other the way you used to. Then you’ll get back your old bodies
and will feel like before. Everything will get back to normal. If this happens I’ll die. Only you can save yourself
from this problem. Please don’t disturb me. When I was going to Goa last time
I died on the way. I’m going straight to Goa to enjoy. If both of you unite my soul will
become free and I’ll unite with my wife. I can’t even curse you that
you should die as you’re already dead. Wretched man! No one can touch a soul. No one can burn it. Two souls will unite in heaven. I’m coming, my dear wife. What a problem! No one will believe our story. He has put me in a woman’s body. I will..
– Chunni! To hell with him.
– Oh! A woman’s body only looks good. Why? You always remained close to women. What’s so special about your body? Even the men who dress as women
in drama can arouse some feelings. But, after seeing your body want to
renounce worldly life and go to jungle. Ghartode… If he comes back we’ll be in trouble. Let’s try to change our bodies. I’ll go for a smoke.
– No. My mouth will smell bad. I can’t relieve myself without smoking.
– Oh! Should I constipate myself? An upset stomach will smell bad. The odor of the smoke is better than that.
– Shut up! What are you doing?
– Inner wear. Why are you wearing my inner wear? I feel uncomfortable without it.
– Okay. I like to be free in the house. I’m feeling uncomfortable in t-shirt. Shall I take it out?
– Oh no! Don’t be shameless. Where are you going after
applying perfume and all? Office. You’ll go to my office
in my body. Got it? Your office is a deserted place.
– Yours is a graveyard. Yours is a dilapidated place.
– And yours is a cemetery. (Door bell rings)
– I’ll open the door. Take it out first.
I’ll go and check who it is. (Door bell rings) Why have you suddenly
come here unannounced? You’ve a guest at home.
Should you keep him waiting at the door? Invite him inside and serve him food.
– Come in. Who has come? Hello.
– You look handsome today. How dare you touch me? Do you think I’m gay? What do you want to say? She’s touching me. After she gets divorced
we’ll get married. She’s impressed by me.
We’ll go to Pakistan for honeymoon. Remove your hand.
– I’m so lucky. Today there’s hearing at court. We signed the documents
just two days ago. How did our turn come so soon? I bribed the judge and
so he took up your file first. Look at the queries she has. Do something. Take back
the money and postpone the date. Why?
– The matter took a new turn at night. (Gasps) The matter has taken a new turn? All my plans got spoiled
even before I could marry her. I’m in a soup now. Oh no! This can’t happen. The judge will kill me. How did this happen?
What did you eat at night? Don’t touch me.
Nothing happened last night. That’s good. Both of you must come to
the court with me. That’s it. Oh no!
– Postpone the date. If I postpone the date there
are chances that they might patch up.. ..and I’ll never get her. I can never let that happen. I must think of an idea. Alright. If you don’t go to the court
on the appointed date.. ..then you’ll be charged under IPC 36,
28, 32D, 420 and 143. Do you know what will happen after that? What? Tell me. 25 years of imprisonment
and 5 crore rupees as fine. – Why? What’s our mistake? Contempt of court. Insult to the judge. Now choose between two options. Option A you’ll go to the
court option B you’ll pay the fine. Option A or option B? I choose option A. But, how can we go?
– Pick up the papers. You’re so macho. Her touch is awesome. Don’t touch her. Hold this. Tell me when and why did
you decide to get divorced. (Sighs) Tell him.
– You tell him. No, you tell him.
– You tell him. Am I the man or are you the man?
– You tell him. My time is precious. A goldsmith takes money
for every gram of gold. Similarly I also take money
for each and every word I hear. Okay. Whose problem is it? His or yours? The woman has no problem. A woman keeps her entire
neighbourhood happy. She keeps the neighbourhood happy?
Do you keep me happy? Sir, if he speaks in between
I’ll hit him with my slippers. Why are you talking like a woman? Speak like a man. I respect women and
I’ll speak like this. Keep quiet and let her speak. Sir, Paro is a very nice lady. The women have been suppressed
right from the beginning. She’ll become flat if
she’s suppressed further. I’ll flatten you some day.
– Look, he’s irritating me again. Stop irritating him. She’s lying. Ask her to keep
her mouth shut or I’ll hit you. She’s lying? You’re a woman but why
are you speaking like a man? Actually we’ve exchanged our souls
to understand each other’s problems. Do something. Get me alcohol instead of coffee. My brain is in a mess.
Go. Hurry up. Tell me. Woman are the ladders of success. But we can’t oppress women
in order to get success. A woman sacrifices everything.
She takes care of her man. But, the men keep
flirting with other women. I’m going to burn you instead
of crackers during the festival. Don’t interfere. Speak one by one.
– She has all the problems. She’s not ready to understand
the pains of a man. She stays at home all day. What do these women think of themselves? They think they’ve achieved
a great thing by giving birth. Sir, tell me something. Will you live with your wife
if she nags you all the time? Look, don’t drag my wife into all this. We’re also going to get divorced. Why didn’t you tell us before? We would’ve got discount
if we hired the same lawyer. No..no.. I’m my lawyer. You had a love marriage. Right?
– Yes. Why did love vanish from
your life after marriage? Will you listen to me? Even if I jump from a six storied
building she won’t be impressed. You speak a lot. He’s a woman and yet
he speaks lesser than you. You’ve proved that you’re a man. You’re taunting me by saying
that women speak more. They’re going to make me go crazy. No, sir. You’ve to promise me that you
won’t get up before you get me divorced. It’s her problem and she must surrender.
– A man must surrender. A man never surrenders,
he makes women surrender. I won’t. Oh god! Keep quiet
or I’ll commit suicide. And you’ll never get divorced. Who sent you here? Jamkar Tode. Jamkar Tode is a pious soul. I want to meet him. I wasn’t so stressed even when
I appeared for my first LLB exam. Tode.. Jamkar Tode,
sir has called you inside. Have you got divorce? Congratulations! Why did you touch me?
– I hugged you. I wasn’t so happy even
when I copied and passed. Your problems will be sorted
if you come to me with your problems. Wait here, I’ll be back soon. Don’t go away.
– Go. He’s soon going to enjoy.
– Don’t touch me. Go. Sir, where’s my commission? Wasn’t it an easy case? (Laughs) I’ve understood their case very well. But I just want to drill it inside you. Drill it inside me? I don’t have such weird interests.
– I’ll share a secret with you. I’ve bribed to get the law degree. I don’t have much knowledge. If I had knowledge
I would’ve challenged the judge. Do you think I’m a learned lawyer? Listen to me carefully. I’m a dangerous mad man
who has escaped from the asylum. Go from here or I’ll kill you. Go.
– Okay. (Phone rings) – Chunni, your phone
is ringing. Take the call. It’s my boss. Talk to him. Why? Do you want me to
charge him for sexual harassment? Do as I say. Take the call quickly. Stop the car.
– (Brakes squeal) How dare you order me?
– Treat it as a request. I’m your wife and not a waiter. Please take the call. Please be sweet. Paro, you’re looking very beautiful.
Please take the call. That’s the right way to behave.
– (Phone rings) Hello.
– What hello? I gave you a new project. You haven’t submitted the report yet. You’re not even coming to office. What happened to you, man? Actually last night
my physicality changed. What do you mean? I didn’t get you. I mean I reached the wrong address. I was roaming in the heat
and so I fell sick. It’s alright. Come to the office.
I’ll give you medicine. Is your boss a doctor? Forget all this and go to office. What will I say if he asks
for the project details? Divya knows everything, she’ll help you. Oh! When the witch knows everything
why should I go to office. It doesn’t matter if you don’t go
but send my body there. What will I gain from it? If you go to my office,
I’ll go to your office. Did I tell you to put your
unlucky feet inside my boutique? It’s a request. Please. I’ll lose the job
if you don’t go to office. Is it? There’s a designers’
competition next week. How will you get the award
if I don’t go there? He’s right.
– You want the award. Right? Correct. Let’s keep our differences on hold. Since you insist, I’ll agree. Go to the boutique but don’t
get too close to the customer. You also don’t do the same. One more thing.
Don’t behave like a woman in office.. ..or people will doubt your sexuality. It’s a new body but I can’t give up
my old habits. Have you forgotten my moves? You said that you were impressed by me. If you’ve any problem
I won’t go to office. – Okay. (Phone rings) Oh no! The lawyer has called again. Why is he disconnecting the call? I’ll call my future wife. (Phone rings)
– He has called me. Don’t take the call.
– Why? We’ll work and save money
before we get divorced. We won’t take his calls anymore. From today my phone will be
with you and your phone will be with me. I get photos from models. Don’t send them to your friends. She disconnected my call. People call me for appointment. This case is going out of hand. I’ve got eternal lovers divorced. They’re an ordinary couple. My dear clients,
wait and watch what I do. I’m the one who can do the impossible. The ones on whom I set
my evil eyes get destroyed. Hi Chunni!
– Hi Chunni! Hello, brother.
– Hi Chunni! You were dancing like a bombshell
in the party. – Don’t touch me. He’s trying to flirt with me.
Get lost. Good morning, sir.
– Good morning. Take this. Keep it in my cabin. Good morning, sir.
– Good morning. (Clears throat) Where are you going, sir?
– To meet Chunni. We can’t allow even a fly
inside without appointment. I don’t take appointment
even when I go to meet the minister. Sorry, sir. Even my dad needs
an appointment to meet me in office. I’m a renowned lawyer. Do you know that? It doesn’t matter what you are.
You need an appointment. Chunni, I heard that you’ve fever. Your body is burning. Oh! So, you’re worried about me.
– That’s true. The office seems deserted without you. When you’re close to
me I just wish to bite you. My blackberry. Do you know how much I missed you? Crazy girl, you could’ve called me if
you wanted to enquire about my health. I would’ve called you but..
– You didn’t have my number. No. I didn’t call because of Paro.
She’s a headache. I’m the balm that gives
you relief from her. So, this is the reason
he’s divorcing Paro. He hates the home cooked meal. Who likes home food when
they get burgers to eat outside? Sir, please go. Are you married?
– Yes, sir. I’ll get you divorced
after I get him divorced. Be ready with my fees. I’ll open it.
– Move. I can open it. That’s not a big deal. Go. I think you need good treatment. Meet me after office. Chunnilal, what about the new project?
– Nothing, sir. There was no water at home. So, I took bath with the water
kept in the fridge and fell sick. Stop this nonsense. If we lose this project we’ll have
to shut the company and beg on streets. You can go begging
for projects after that. I went to get medicine and..
– Shut up! You’re giving excuses.
My name is Sandeep Mane. Move. Is this the way they shout at girls? Even my dad never shouted
at me in this manner. I pray that his wife
gets a moustache like me. Why am I crying? Boss shouted at him. I should be happy. What are you staring at?
Didn’t you see a man before? Get back to work. Chunni, are you upset? There’s lot of workload. I can’t finish the work
in such a short time. I need more time.
– There’s lot of workload. And you need more time.
I don’t want to hear such excuses. I give you two days and two hours. I want the project report on my table.. ..otherwise I’ll delete you
from this office. I’ll fire you.
– Do what you want to. Take care. I’ve to handle
all these useless fellows. Chunni.. Chunni.. will you be able
to complete the project in two days? Will I manage to complete it
if I tell share it with you? Laptop.
– Give it to the other woman in my life. Why is he behaving strangely? What do I do? I’m confused. I want to set Paro’s body on fire
and free myself. Neither will there be her body
nor will it disturb me. Hi Paro darling! Hey Paro! I’m Ritu, the designer. What happened?
– Yes, tell me. Are the fashion show costumes ready? Shall we try them out?
– Yes. Maggie! Maggie! Why are you shouting, madam?
– Is madam’s dress ready? Hi, ma’am.
– Hi! It’s ready, ma’am. Go and give it to her.
– Okay. Please come with me, madam.
– Okay. Good morning, madam. Why did this fellow come here? Madam, I’ve something very
important to discuss with you. Lawyer, I told you to postpone the date. Madam, it’s not about divorce.
– Then? It’s about Chunni.
– About me? It’s not about you.
It’s about your husband. I went to his office. Your husband and Divya were cozying up. But, you’re trying to postpone
the divorce. – Forget it. Madam, Ritu madam’s dress
is 2 inch loose. Tell her to stuff papers
inside and wear it. Madam, she’s furious with you. What do you mean?
What do you want to say? You want to get every job
done in a couple of minutes.. ..as you’re names
after an instant noodles. If an iphone doesn’t work properly
will Steve Jobs come to repair it? They create unnecessary problems. Madam, listen to me or
we’ll have to shut down our shop. I’ll get the shop re-opened
if it is shut down. I’m a renowned lawyer and get your
house transferred in my name right now. That’s because I can’t sit in the court.
Please go now. Okay. Where shall we go to change out mood? To a Punjabi inn
or to Abdul tea-seller’s shop? Bar.
– Bar? Yes, bar. I think she’s an alcoholic. You’ve brought me to the right place.
– You’ve been sitting here for long. What shall I get for you? It’s Monday and I don’t drink on Monday. Get sweet lemon juice
for me with lime in it. Get black tea for madam.
– Hold on. Send two tequila shots through Shakila. Okay, ma’am.
– Thanks. Do you drink? Will I be able to afford her
after marriage? Okay, listen… What were you saying? (Coughs) Nothing. When men can drink
why should women not drink? If he has one drink,
you should have two. Both of them should
be equal in everything. I’m learning a lot from you.
– What were you telling me? What was it?
– Madam, he was cozying up. What do you mean?
– There’s problem, madam. I can’t tell you how close
your husband and Divya were in office. There was no space for
even air to pass through. If you had seen them together
you would’ve got a heart attack. He’s injurious for your health. What did you say? Madam, I was checking
how much you love him. He’s a very nice man. Idiot, why did you go to my office? What did you say? Idiot?
– Yes. Madam, smoking will damage your lungs. My life is in mess right now. I’ve been suffering
since I married that bitch. 24*7. She’s unlucky for me. Madam, your language has
changed after a couple of drinks. It’s not just my language
but my entire body has changed. I’ll tell you something. Your husband is a characterless man. He’s inhuman. He’s useless, shameless,
he’s a characterless man. You called him characterless?
– He’s also a fool. He’s an idiot, a joker, a fool. Don’t you think you’re overreacting?
– (Slaps) Waiter.
– Yes, madam. Get soda for him.
– Okay, madam. Thank you, madam.
Get a chilled one, brother. C’mon get up. Wasn’t the soda meant for drinking? If you allow can I take a couple of sips?
– Sure. Thank you. I got it, madam.
– What did you understand? You vented out your anger on me. But, I’m your fan, madam. Why did you hit me?
– I didn’t hit you. I exercised my hands. Tell me something. What have you thought
about that stupid fellow? Okay. Who is this stupid
fellow you’re talking about? I was talking about your husband. He’s not just a stupid fellow,
he’s an idiot. – Really? Shall I get a pot for you?
– No. Oh Mr. lawyer!
– LLB. What brings you here? I went to your office to tell you
what happened between madam.. ..and me last night
but I didn’t find you there. So, I thought that you
must be unwell and I came here. At least there’s somebody
who’s concerned about me. Come inside. I’ve swelling in my back
and so I’m unable to sit. Let’s stand here and talk. Okay. I’ll tell Suchi to get chairs here.
– No need to get chairs. I can’t say how comfortable
I feel when I stand. I’ll change my position. One more step. Now I feel better.
Come close. Don’t touch me. What’s wrong if I touch you? I’ve contagious disease. Don’t touch me.
– Okay, I won’t touch you. Your wife is a witch. This rogue is calling me a witch. When I went to talk
to her about divorce.. ..she got drunk and was dancing
so wildly as if the devil is dancing. He called me devil? She broke all smoking records. She smokes so much that it seems
she works in a cigarette factory. She was using a lot of cuss words. It seemed as if that’s what
she learned at her parents’ place. I suggest that you
give her double divorce. My husband never insulted me so much. She can’t live with
anyone in this world. Do you know that she
befriends everyone she meets? What did she do with you?
– Locked lips with me. Oh god! I couldn’t share it with anyone
so I shared it with you. You’re going to divorce her.
So, you must be very happy. Forget her. Get rid of her forever. I assure you that you’ll get divorce.
You’ll get 50% discount. After that you can go to
Karachi with Divya for honeymoon. Jamkar Tode.
– Hit it hard. What happened, sir?
– Double omelet. You don’t look like a cook.
You’re wearing a lawyer’s coat. You’re the one who’s creating
differences between sir and madam. I’m not creating differences,
I’m trying to get them apart. What do you want?
– I also want divorce, sir. What problems do you
have with your husband? He has an affair. That’s great. He has done a great job. He doesn’t match my status. What do you do here? I’m the home minister of this house. Minster? Oh! Nice to meet you.
– Hello. Your hands are very soft.
– Are you the owner of this house? I’m a maid, sir. What do you mean? A maid servant?
– Sir, I’ve a reputation. A maid. She can help me. I need to convince her. I’ll fool her. Sir, are you trying
to flirt with the window? Jamkar Tode.
I can break any relationship. I’ll get your madam and sir
divorced first and then I’ll help you. I’ll work hard on your case. Start looking out for me.
– Okay. Stay in touch. Shame on you, sir. I’m not talking about physical touch.
Stay in touch on phone. Keep informing me about them on phone.
– Okay. Suchi.
– Coming. Bye, sir. I’ll stay in touch. Vishal, I’ll tell Shekhar. It’ll get done. We’ll do it.
I’ll hang up now. What do we have to do? I just mentioned it casually. Divya!
– Sir.. Divya!
– Yes, sir.. Where’s Chunnilal?
What about the project? Chunni is suffering from bad cough.. ..and so he’s absent. I’ll do his work. He must’ve got drenched
in untimely rain. Tell him to buy a raincoat. Health is wealth.
– Yes, sir. Will you handle the project?
– Yes. Good! Thanks.
– No, sir. Sorry. I forgot that you’re Divya
and not Chunni. Bye. Carry on. (Phone rings) Hello Paro.
– Yes, tell me. Why is Chunni not coming to office? I don’t know I’m in the boutique. He’s not even taking my call. He behaves strangely
when he comes to office. What’s the matter, Rajesh? I’ve noticed a marked
difference in his behavior. He always remains scared. He starts crying like a child
on the smallest thing. He has no concentration on work. I’ll speak with him.
– Okay. – Okay bye. He’s ruining my career.
Now I’ll spoil her work. No one will be spared
from the scissors today. Hi Paro darling! Why are you hugging me so tightly?
Stay away. You smell of sweat. It seems as if you didn’t
take bath for a week. Apply perfume when you come here. Madam..
– Hey! What’s wrong with you these days?
I’m sorry. Are the dresses for
the fashion show ready? Yes, they’re ready.
Come, I’ll show you. She wants a new design. Right? I’ll make such designs that’ll
make her entire family proud. The one who wears it won’t feel hot.. ..but the one who sees it
will definitely feel hot. Hey! What’s this? This is summer dress. Who will wear it?
Are you drugged? This dress was worn by Miss
India when she won the pageant. Wear it and you’ll
also win the competition. Paro, this is too much. Then try to reduce it.
– Are you mad? I want the dress by evening. What will you do if I don’t
give the dress? I’ll file a case against you
and won’t clear the remaining payment. Even your dad will come and pay. Madam..
– She didn’t wear the dress. Will you try it? I can’t wear such a bold dress. They want me to run this boutique. I’m in a mess. (Phone rings) Hello. Hello, Chunni sir.
I want to tell you something. Your wife’s behavior has changed. She behaves weirdly in the boutique. (Brakes squeal) (Door bell rings) Stop!
You’ve again come home drunk. (Coughs) I was thirsty and I had a drink. Chunni, what did you do
at my shop today? I did the same thing
that you did in my office. I had told you that I can’t do
the work that you do. Yet you forced me to go there. I can only make one thing very nicely.
I can make faces. Why did you hide one thing from me?
– What? That boss is going to fire you. You were enjoying in the mall
with your girlfriends.. ..after bunking office. You’ve spoiled my hard work.
Why did you do this? You’ve also ruined my career. You cut the dress made
by me and damaged it. She’s not just my customer
but my sponsor too. If she gets angry I’ll have
to stitch petticoats. That’s what you do in the boutique.
Did you ever make a nice dress? I wish to buy a street-side
food stall for you. If I lose my job will your father
bear our expenses. Stay within your limits, Chunni.
– You’ve crossed all limits. Do you think men are your slaves? Rascal! If you behave like this.
I won’t remain quiet. I’ll go to your office and ruin
your reputation before your boss. I’ll get you fired from job. I’ll put up a post on social media after
which you won’t get a job anywhere. They’ll throw you out
from all social media groups. My name is not Paro
if I don’t defame you. It’s a woman’s curse.
– Well-done! You’re fighting really well. One has turned into a wrestler
and the other is a strong boxer. You’ve turned your house into an arena. I was enjoying in Goa
but you called me back. You couldn’t see me enjoying. What are you made of? Animals are better than you. They may fight but in the end
they drink water from the same pond. Men show off their
love only before marriage. Darling, I’ll get stars for you. And girls also do
the same before marriage. I won’t eat unless you eat. After marriage if the
husband comes home late.. ..you call him and ask him
to send pizzas and burgers. You forget about your husband.
Mend your ways. Love-birds, love each other. Never! Cheap clothes. You’ll enjoy taking them out
instead of wearing them. Buy it Oh god! Chunni, how will I sell
clothes on the streets? I’ll get tanned. Do you think
I’ll drive cars in the heat? We’ll get divorced later.
– What did you say? We’ll concentrate on work first. Do you agree?
– Okay. We’ve to befriend even
our foes when we’re in trouble. (Door knocks)
– Paro, open the door quickly. Coming. Will you break the door? (Door knocks) Open the door quickly. What happened? Monthly problem. What do I do?
– This is great. You think this is a joke? I’ve got headache,
body ache, stomach ache.. everything. You’re tired of it so soon. Women go through this pain
several times and for several years. When I used to share my problem
you thought it was a trivial issue. Do you realize the problem now?
You should suffer more. Men think they’re strong
but they’re not stronger than us I accept that you’re very strong. But, I can’t bear it anymore. I’ll die if the pain doesn’t subside. What do I do now? Please. Have this if it pains. There’s sanitary pad in the wardrobe.
Wear it like a diaper. She isn’t as bad as I thought her to be. I’ll apply my favorite lipstick. Thank you. This is yours. Wear it. Listen. Take my call if call you. Yes. hold on.
– This one? Hello. Yes. Hello. Hello.
– Yes, this one is good. Good! Get back to work. Go. Chunni, there’s a mail. Open it. Read what’s written in it. Chunni..
– Don’t try to get close to me. Go. My favourite plant. I’m getting used to this body. (Phone rings) Pay your bill and then call. Wear the belt. The brakes are over there.
Take the car from this side. Enough! Stop it here. Good job. Thank you.
– Concentrate on driving. Suchi, give some update. Sir, shut down your office. They’ve come close like
a flower and its thorns. I’ll sharpen the thorns.
Provide me with the updates. Please forgive me. I’ll make
your dress free of cost. Please. No.
– Please say something. Please madam. We’ve apologized. Please. Sorry.
– Okay. Thank you so much Happy?
– Thank you so much. (Phone rings) Yes. Hello.
– Concentrate on work. What are you doing? I don’t know when we’ll
get back our bodies. (Phone rings) Oh no! Look!
– The presentation is good. That’s great. Thank you.
– Rascal. One, two three.
– Wow! You’re welcome. Good job.
– You’re welcome. Yes! What do you say, Maggie? Thankfully our work is going on well.
– Yes We compromised and
it helped our work front. I just wish that the problem of the
souls getting exchange gets sorted out. What did you say?
– The lawyer’s soul. No. what did you say before that? We worked together and
we sorted out the issues at work. You’re right. We’ll unite and solve other problems. We’ll get rid of that ghost too. You’re right. We should’ve done it long ago. If we fool the ghost, he’ll go away. We’ll also get back our bodies. Our problems will be sorted. Absolutely.
We’ll start doing this from tomorrow. Sir, bill.
– Card. You can also transfer the amount.
– Okay. Listen.. is there no app that
can help us get rid of the ghost? Shall I try?
– I was joking. Sir..
– Yes, tell me. They’ve united like sugar in tea. I’ll do something. No. I’m tired. Ghost, you haven’t
gone away from here yet. Where am I supposed to go?
– To hell. How can I go back without
completing my task We’re together once again.
– Yes. How do I believe you? I’ll show you right now. Look how we’re standing
close to each other. I don’t trust you. We’ve to convince him.
Where did you go? Turn around.
– We’re sleeping on the same bed again. I’m not human, I’m a soul.
You can’t fool me. I understand everything. I know that you’re pretending
so that I give your bodies back. I won’t change the bodies
unless you’re truly in love. Don’t try to fool me
I’m already in trouble. This happened because
of your bad acting. You don’t know that when I
performed Ravana’s role in Ramayana. ..people took out their
chains and rings and gifted me. I know. People used
to throw stale food at you. Correct! When you did the role of Phulan Devi
people threw their dirty shoes at you. Stop it or I’ll slap you. Your truth has been revealed. You were showing a lot of love just now. But, actually you’re still not in love. You’re a ghost who has no evidence.
– Yes. I don’t want any favour.
I don’t want the body back. Oh god! Listen. Listen to me. I love this soft body. I’ll live in this body.
– Listen to me. Oh god! There are still
blockages in their heart. I need to do an emergency heart surgery. (Yawns) Where’s Chunni’s house in this village? The Lord of Death took
my smart phone at the entrance. I can’t see any soul here
whom I can ask. Hey lawyer! Who is it?
– The one in floral shirt. Floral shirt. It means he’s dead. He’ll be my guide in this village. Oh God!
– Can you see me? The thorns along with the flowers
in your shirt are pricking me. Beware, there is a snake in the garden. The people who sit in
the car are ordinary people. You arrived here sitting
atop the vehicle. Are you a ghost? You are smart. Who are you? I’m the godfather of fools. I can’t understand what’s going on. He’s a great fellow! He’s an idiot. There are flowers in your shirt.
Do you water the plants? Water the plants or
the flowers will wither. Jamunadas, which phone does he have? He’s talking but I can’t see his phone. Don’t you know about him? He used to talk a lot on mobile phone. This is its side effect. Tell me who you are
and why have you come here. Who’s the village head?
– Thakur. He’s the village headman. Whenever anyone refuses
to listen to his orders.. ..he takes out their
kidneys and livers.. ..sucks out their blood with a vacuum
cleaner and sells it in a blood bank. Great! Does he have a son? Yes, Mr. Chunni. He went to study computers
but he got trapped by a girl. And his father threw him
out of the house. Mr. Chunni has sent me.
– Why? There’s a problem.
– What’s the problem? Do you’ve any manure in this
village that can revive a dead plant? What do you want? There’s a manure which helps
in the fast growth of veggies. Get it right now.
– Do you’ve any problem? No. Mr. Chunni is in problem. Mr. Chunni’s system has crashed?
– Yes. He’s so sick and weak
that he has sent me. I’ll wait on Chunni’s terrace.
Get it quickly. One more thing.
– What? No outsider should
know about this secret. I won’t tell anyone. You’ll be in trouble
if you disclose the secret. Quickly go and get it. The job as an announcer
isn’t helping me earn enough. I’m planning to leave everything
and go to my village. But, I’m already in the village. What do I do?
Whom do I get hold of? Hey! Stop! Don’t call anybody from behind. Okay. Now I’m calling you from front.
Where are you going? I’m going to buy oil for his car. You don’t even have a driving license. What will you do with it?
– It’s not for me. Chunni’s organs aren’t working. You mean he’s suffering
from dysfunction? It’s not functioning properly.
Don’t share it with anyone. – No. I’ll get the medicine.
– He’ll soon get well. Villagers, listen to today’s
breaking news. Thakur Raj Chandra’s son Chunni
is suffering from sexual dysfunction. All the girls in the village are safe. Babulal.
– Coming. Coming. I’ve arrived. Go to Hyderabad by flight and bring back
my son and daughter-in-law by train. So, you want me to go by flight? Yes!
– Stop! Bring daughter-in-law’s
parents also with you. Okay, uncle.
I’ll travel by flight. What was the urgency that
you summoned us immediately? All our maids and servants
have gone to Uganda on vacation. Therefore I called all of you here
to do the household chores. You should’ve told us
that you need a maid. We could’ve brought Suchi with us. Babulal, tell him.
– Yes, uncle. The matter is that..
– What? (Coughs) Brother..
– Don’t touch me. This is the reason why
the villagers think you’re gay. What do you mean?
– 50-50. That’s a profitable deal.
– I mean.. Speak clearly.
– Why did you slap him? Father-in-law! You’ve changed our relation. She didn’t address you
so I called you by that name. You’re a fool. My reputation has been ruined
when the word about your problem spread. Somebody must’ve joked with you. His performance is very god. Sorry, sir. What’s this?
Why are you giving your expert comments? I’m asking you the question
and she’s answering me. What’s the matter? Don’t you wish to play a game? I’m fit to play any sport.
– Yes! Why didn’t you have a child
even after so many years of marriage? Because we always used protection. I agree that you married
without my consent. But, why didn’t I get a grandchild yet? I’m not in the mood for a child now. Will you become a
mother when you grow old? The rumor has spread
everywhere in the village. Before my reputation is ruined.. ..work hard day and night and
give me the news that she’s expecting. What is he saying? What’s this? I can shut the mouths of the people only
with the cries of my grandchild. Villages, get ready to groom
my moustache with mustard oil. I’m going to do it and soon
there’ll be good news in this family. What about my dreams? I want to earn name and
fame in the world of fashion. Have patience.
– What are they saying? He is saying that he’ll
break all protective gears. I was talking about designs. Design?
– Yes, design. Here you go.
– (Slaps) Please tell him that he’s
abusing his daughter-in-law. Dad, Chunni is being sent
to China from office for six months. I want my grandchild first
and then I’ll think about other things. I’m an experienced man.
Don’t try to convince me. I’ve a huge property but
there’s no one to take care of it. You ruined my reputation by having
a love marriage without my consent. Do you want to ruin my reputation further
by not giving birth to the next generation? Your mom is responsible for this.
She has pampered and spoilt you. I’ll kill her if I lose my temper.
– Dad.. I’m ruthless. Babulal..
– Yes, uncle. Sharpen the sword.
I can kill anyone any time. Boss, I swear on my late wife
that you’ll never get the property. I promise that I’ll shave off
my moustache with your urine.. ..if you get his property. We had taken loans from everybody in the
village and called Sheila and Munni here.. ..on the inauspicious occasion
of your 25th birthday. If we don’t return the money
the villagers will kill us. If Chunni’s child is born we’ll spend
the rest of our lives behind the bars. Who will help us get the money?
– Only one man can help us. Gullu Nasbandi. My brain is not working. When everybody’s brain stops
functioning, my brain starts working. Okay, share the idea.
– Do you’ve tobacco? Do you also enjoy tobacco. Swear that you won’t share this secret
with my second wife. – Why? She won’t let me kiss her. Don’t worry. I’ll get acid
for you to rinse your mouth. You’re going to be in trouble now. You were disturbed
when you got your periods. You’ll be in trouble
for nine months now. What? Nine months?
– Yes. You were very eager.
Right? Now suffer for it. Do you think I’m at fault?
– Do you think it’s my fault? Hello. I’m the writer, director
and producer of this episode. I’ll hit you with slippers.
Why can’t you fix broken relationships? Two lovers give their heart
to each other and not body. Why did you create this mess? Actually you were not in love.
It was a misconception. After so many years of marriage.. ..did you confess your love
for each other every day? You were not tired of saying ‘I love you’
to each other before marriage. You loved each other
wholeheartedly before marriage. But, where did your love
vanish after marriage? Ask yourself. You also ask your heart. Do you think that I should
treat your pretence as true love? There’s no true love in
any relationship these days. Love at first sight. Divorce at first fight. People plan for the divorce
even before they get married. You got married on 11th November 2016. ..and got divorced
on 12th December 2017. Shame! You should
be ashamed of yourself. Remember that nobody
gets a second chance in life. I also didn’t get a second chance. I’ve been after you for all these days so
that I can convince you about this fact. I beg before you,
stop hating each other and start loving. I assure that you’ll be happy in life. Please help me unite with my wife. What are you cooking?
– Chicken biriyani for you strict father. I’ll cook dum biriyani for him. Will you cook?
– Yes. I’ve a YouTube cookery channel. (Sniffs) I’ll make the salad now.
– Are you sure that you’re my son? All the ingredients are here. Do you’ve asafetida?
– What’s that? I mean ‘hing’ (asafetida).
– Oh! 25th is an auspicious date
when they can unite. You’ll get the good news on 26th. Give me my remuneration, I’ll leave. Vasundhara..
– Yes. Why is it taking so much time
to make coffee? Why do you want to have coffee
during lunch time? Your son has cooked dum biriyani. Your mood will change after you eat it. Ready.
– Come here. Give it to me. The aroma can bring
a dead man back to life. Smell it. Shame! What have you done? You’re happy that your son
is cooking like women. I want to burn both your hands. I don’t know who has
cast an evil eye on him. He has changed into a woman. He has cooked for us. Now make him
wear sari and petticoats too. After seeing his behavior I think
that he has gone out of control. His wife wants to roam in the entire
village wearing vests and lungi. What’s all this?
– This has happened because of you. I wish to burn you and
get arrested for killing you. I’ll hit you with my slippers. Which biriyani was it?
– Dum biriyani. A man must be brave
and not a cook. Got it? Sweets. Listen. Stop. Don’t eat. I told you not to eat. You’ve diabetes. Sweets are not good for
you yet you won’t listen to me. He has diabetes.
– Oh! It’s a small one. It’s a small one but it has
lot of calories. Don’t you know it? Let him have one.
He won’t die if he has one. Brother, please don’t interfere. I stay with him. He never listens to anything I say. I’m his wife. Who will suffer if anything
happens to him? It’s the duty of a wife
to take care of her husband. I’m tired of convincing him
but he never listens to me. What will you cook today?
– No.. actually dad. Did he scold you again?
– No. Didn’t you get angry when
he scolded you before everybody? His anger lasts for a short time. He gets angry easily
and also cools down easily. He shouts for some time
and then calms down. If I also get angry we’ll get divorced. Any one should remain calm. You shouldn’t live a suffocating life. This is domestic abuse. A married couple should
understand each other’s emotions. If I also lose my temper
then our beautiful home.. ..will turn into a battlefield. His anger gives me energy. He gets restless if I’m in any problem. He’s the village headman
but he’s like a child. We’ve been married for thirty years. But, I never shouted at him. He’s very happy that you got married. But he never expresses his emotions. Habits change but one’s nature doesn’t. Vasundhara..
– Yes. coming. Did you hear him? You’re not feeling sleepy?
– No. You’re still awake. I’m also not feeling sleepy. I wanted to ask you something.
– Yes, ask me. You had a love marriage. Right? If you’ve differences
why don’t you separate. Mom keeps reprimanding you.
Don’t you feel bad about it? (Chuckles) Actually I don’t feel bad at all. The love that we shower on each other
before marriage is temporary. The love after marriage is true love. True love happens when we
understand each other’s emotions. How could you even think
that I’ll separate from your mom? If we got divorced for
small issues then how would.. ..we be blessed with
a sweet daughter like you. (Sighs) What happened, Babulal? You could’ve sent
somebody else to call me. My wife went into coma
after seeing this chimpanzee. There was no water in my house
and my wife was also not at home. So, I went to my neighbour’s house
to take bath when he went there. My childhood buddy has come
but he hasn’t come to meet me yet. What can be the reason? I think he has a problem
and so he’s ashamed to meet you. Don’t you feel that somebody
should call you uncle? You’re useless friends. Okay. I’ve an idea. Shakila will perform a seducing
dance number. Take him to watch her performance. If he is aroused then
we’ll know that he can do it. We’ll also join him. Drag him there.
Test yourself too. Let’s go.
– Go. Nasbandi. Boss. I’ve done my job.
Do you think it’ll work? You can do anything
to me if it doesn’t work. They’ve scrubbed the expensive
boutique clothes and.. ..made them look like local cheap ones. Caught you. (Slaps) Who are you?
– Kishore Kumar. Then sing songs. Do you think
my hips are a musical instrument? It means the news about you was correct. Pay less attention to rumors.
– The magical oil is here. If you want I’ll massage you.
– What’s this? Get lost. This has saved many failing marriages. Oh! So, they’re Chunni’s friends.
– What’s your problem? Why are you coming close?
I’ve no problem. Did you hear him?
He has no problem, actually he has. Come with us.
– Where? We’ll show you a seductive dance number. I’ve heard about zumba and rumba. Which dance form is this? The dance will work as a tonic for you.
Come with us. Do the doctors as well as
the compounders dance together? He won’t listen to us.
Pick him up and take him. Oh god!
– Pick him up. Uncle! Shave off your moustache. What happened now? Soon your moustache
will be infested with lice. Don’t beat around the
bush or I’ll thrash you. Tell me what has happened. Your useless son has gone
to get aroused by Shakila. Oh no! What a problem! Is it true? I swear on you and your dad, uncle. Did you see it? You can pull out my eyes if I lie.
– Do something. Distribute sweets to
all the villagers quickly. Finally my son has
behaved like a true man. What’s so macho about it? If he had any sexual problem he
wouldn’t have gone to watch the dance. Spread this news in the village. Get 500 gram mustard
oil for my moustache. Hurry up.
– C’mon hurry up. What kind of father is he? His son has gone to watch
the dance of the prostitute.. ..and he’s distributing
sweets to celebrate it. I must do something quickly. What moves! What a dance! Where have you brought me? Don’t touch me. Why is he dancing in my body? Okay. So, I should dance? Okay. Who is calling me? Come. What happened?
– Come on. After dancing I’m feeling
as if I drove a hand cart. Oh god! It was great fun dancing today. Paro, you also danced very well.
– Thank you. Chunni, I’ve started feeling
for you the way I used to. Me too. Good night. Why did you wish me goodnight? I wanted to wish you so I said it. Okay. Goodnight. (Phone chimes) Nasbandi..
– Boss.. I sold off my last
underwear to hire Shakila. Will your plan work? Don’t worry or you’ll go bald. I’m the godfather of all the goons. We’ll definitely get
rid of him this time.. ..and then we’ll enjoy
with his property. What’s your plan now? We’ll feed your brother
junk food at night. He’ll be in a rush
to defecate in the morning. Stop the water supply. He’ll go to the jungle
with a water pot. Go and steal his water pot. And he won’t be able to come home. Go and tell his wife that he has been
kidnapped and she’ll become nervous What next?
– Kidnap her. (Laughs) What a plan! I’ll soon become the owner
of this ill-gotten property. I’m waiting for him to wake up. Divya’s voice message. (Playing voice message)
Chunni, why didn’t you answer my call? We’ve spent a lot of time together.
I did whatever you told me to do. Now when it’s time to discuss
marriage you’re avoiding me. Good morning.
– Good bye. What happened?
– You’ve shown your true colours. Aren’t you satisfied with one partner? I hate standing here.
I’m going from here. I’ll go and commit suicide
so that you never get back this body. Tell me what has happened.
– Hear it. Hey Paro! Listen to me. (Playing voice message)
Chunni, why didn’t you answer my call? We’ve spent a lot of time together.
I did whatever you told me to do. Now when it’s time to discuss
marriage you’re avoiding me. Oh no! Paro! Paro! Paro, stop! Babulal, did you see your sister-in-law? Sister-in-law? I mean your brother went away. The plan is working. Take out the car. But, sister-in-law.. Babulal, stop questioning.
Take out the car and follow him. The plan is actually working.
– Come on. Yes. Let’s go. Boss, drive the car. Why did you take this road?
– It’s a short cut. (Sobbing) Why are you crying? What happened to you? Where are you going?
– I’m soon going to join you. You’re going to give me a heart attack. I’ll die again. Please don’t do this. Do you know why Chunni doesn’t like me? That’s because Divya
resides in his heart. You’re mistaken.
– Shut up! Don’t treat women as
toys who’ll entertain you. If we stop being shy
you’ll start defaming us. Chunni is a gem of a person. Yes. And that’s why he’s interested in
every other woman other than his wife. I swear on Lord of Death
that they don’t have any affair. Reduce the speed.
– No, I won’t. If you commit suicide your matter
will get stuck even in heaven. This body is the cause of all problems.
– Oh no! I’ll destroy his body today
and only then I’ll find peace. There’s a car in front of you. (Tires squealing) (Brakes squeal) He has destroyed my home
because of his lustful ways. Today I’ll destroy him. Are you okay? You want to kill me and live
the rest of your life with her. Right? What do you mean?
– You want to be with Chunni. What are you saying? If you touch me I’ll break your mouth. What’s wrong with you? I’ve come from the city to meet you.
– Why? Aren’t you satisfied
after sending the message. I came here to meet you because
you didn’t answer my message. So, you’re in great rush. It’s time to get married. How will I get married without you? So, you’ve made all the arrangements. Have you forgotten that we’re
not yet divorced, you can’t marry. (Slaps) Great! Chunni.. Chunni.. Yes. You brought the proposal for me. You were always with me like my brother. Or nobody was ready to marry
an orphan girl like me. You always supported me
as a good friend. And you came to the village
without even informing me. You’re talking like a lunatic. Wouldn’t you like to know
the reason why I’m here? Is there another reason? I’ve come to give the first
wedding invitation to you. I must go to Chunni right now. Finally you can see the truth. Come with me.
– What happened? Where are you taking me? Babulal, why did you bring me here? Come with me. Which place is this?
– You’ll soon find out. Will you tell me what the matter is? Please be seated. C’mon tell me quickly
why you brought me here. For this purpose.
– What’s this? Kidnap. You can’t kidnap anyone so easily. Boss, you see Gullu
Nasbandi’s plan works. Please tell me what’s happening
or Paro will commit suicide. What are you saying, sister-in-law? Why are you joking with me?
You’re Paro. Tell me why did you kidnap me. Sister-in-law, if you help us
we’ll give you 10% of the loot. If you’ve the courage then
untie me and I’ll teach you a lesson. Okay, I’ll give you 15%. It’s a powerful tape.
I stole it from the hospital last time. (Phone rings) Why is brother’s phone ringing here? People exchange hearts when in love
and they’ve exchanged phones. Sister-in-law, don’t move
or I might touch wrong places. Carefully.
She’s the honour of our family. Why do I suffer for everything? (Brakes squeal) Are you trying to escape
from the village? Why did you come and
stand before the car? I wanted to drive the horse cart. I mortgaged my house
to get this oil for you. If you don’t pay me for this then
I’ll commit suicide before your car. I’ll hit you with my sandal.
– Run the car over me. (Phone rings) Hello Chunni.
– Welcome to phone a friend. Who is speaking? I’m your brother and my name is Babulal. Babulal..
Hey! What are you doing? Don’t disconnect the call.
I’ve an important information for you. Your wife has been kidnapped.
– Kidnap? For what? For property? Does she own a property?
– Yes! If you don’t transfer your property
to me, I’ll kill sister-in-law. Babulal, I’m your sister-in-law. Come to rice mill in ten minutes.
Hurry up. Do you know where the rice mill is?
– Yes. – Then take me there. You’ll drive well after you use the oil. Boss, can we have tea? Help law and I’ll help you. I’ll give this phone that I brought
from the second hand market as reward. Who is he? I think the judge insulted him
and threw him out of the court. He has come here looking for us. I think the money-lenders
have registered a case against us. Lawyer, let me get
the property once and.. ..then we’ll dance at your funeral. I’ll bring an orchestra here. Set this girl free. That’ll be better for you. Do you know whose son am I? My father would go to the jungle
after waking up in the morning. He would hunt tigers
with arrows from behind. He would have his breakfast
with the tiger’s blood. (Snaps finger) I’m his son.
I’ve tiger’s blood in my veins. I’ll teach you a good lesson. But, I’ve lost all my power
because of loans. Will you fight my case free of cost? You talked shit.
– What? My father was a goon. He made me a lawyer
so that I would save him. I’m a lawyer. I’ve travelled 1200km
only to get her divorced. Divorce?
Why do they want to get divorced? I’m not bothered about
the reason behind it. I can do anything for money. Untie her hands.
Today is the final hearing. You mean their marriage
is already in trouble. It’s about to fall apart.
Take a look at the papers. He can’t even open them.
I think he’s single. He needs special training.
– Why is it written in strange letters? It’s the language of the English.
– Oh! Nasbandi.. Will he be able to read it?
– He’s a literate goon. Brothers, I’ll speak the truth
and nothing else. This is how you fight cases
in the court. Isn’t it, lawyer? O my judge! Order! Order! How do you know all this?
– I watched a film on court. There was this dialogue in the film.
– I’ve also learned everything from films. We belong to the same herd. Read what’s written in the papers. Don’t shout at Gullu Nasbandi. Do you work for him? When a criminal and a lawyer
is talking you must remain quiet. Listen to me carefully.
– Yes, tell me. When Chunni will come
and sign the documents.. ..only then you can take Paro from here. Sorry, Nasbandi. You’re mistaken.
– What? Yes. Don’t think that
Chunni will come to save her. He’ll never come to save her. She’ll never go to save him. Who gave you this stupid idea? Even a child won’t give you
such a bad idea. Lawyer, it was Gullu Nasbandi’s idea. Your idea? I had late dinner that night. I was constipated in the morning
so I couldn’t think of a good idea. If I knew it was a divorce case
I wouldn’t have taken it up. Now you’ve already taken it up.
He’s useless. I’ve an idea.
– What? You’ll have to pay for it. What if we catch him and leave her? You’re very smart. (Laughs) Don’t touch my feet. Shall I take her away?
– Why are you asking? Take her away. Madam, why are you in this condition? Two days back I dreamt
that I married you. It’ll give you power. Park the car in the left. Chunni! Chunni! Where’s my Chunni?
Chunni, where are you? What?
– Why are you getting divorced? You can talk to him later.
Let me take my money first. Did you see? You’ve been tied here tightly with
a rope and he’s roaming around with her. He has come to save you. You’ve reached here too. I’ll untie you. You had a love marriage. Then why are you getting divorced? No one ever got divorced in our family. We were getting divorced
because of you but.. Hey Chunni brother, I beg of you. Please don’t divorce her.
I never went for divorce. Pay my dues.
– Okay. Nasbandi, cancel the kidnap plan. Gullu’s plan can’t be
cancelled like bus tickets. Kidnap! Gullu!
– Lower your voice. I’ll get your vasectomy done.
– I’ll bury you in the sacks. What are you staring at?
Thrash him. Chicken Chatri,
tell him that we’re old friends. Boss..
– We can’t do it. Oh no! They’re in my control. Nasbandi!
– Shut up. Boys, thrash them. Chunni.. Chunni..
– Leave us. I’m a ruthless man. I burned my brother alive
because he supped me.. ..of my share in the property. He gave me two rupees less. If you don’t transfer
the property in my name.. ..then I’ll kill everybody. Thrash everybody. Oh god! What’s this, madam?
You’re going to fight them? What if you get hurt? We’ll fight the case in the court. What happened?
– What? You want to take me with you? (Chuckles) What are you staring at?
Beat them. Oh no! Very good, Chunni. Thrash them. If you touch me I’ll hit you
with my slippers. Don’t fight here. The real man is there and not here. Come on.
– Okay. Boss, go ahead. We’re following you. Thrash her. Come on. Thrash her. Idea! Hey stop! Don’t harm her. Please leave her. Hey! If you don’t sign
I’ll slit his throat. How will I sign if you slit my throat? I completely forgot this point. Sister-in-law..
– Yes. I didn’t call you.
I called sister-in-law. Go away, I’ll handle him. Chunni! Sorry, Chunni. You won’t smoke from today. You won’t drink.
– Okay. You’ll fire Divya from work. Paro.. (Groans) Were you reacting that way? That’s how I react when I’m pain. This is mine.
– No, it’s mine. It’s mine.
– I found it. It’s mine.
What’s your problem? They’ve made a triple omelet out of me. Please give me.
I haven’t eaten anything for three days. This omelet is not supposed to be eaten. Please try to understand.
– Oh no! I don’t want to eat it. It’s hurting a lot.
What do I do now This will help you. What do I do with this?
– Apply it to the injured spot. Yes.
– Really? Come closer.
– Here I come. Closer. I’ve come. You look very hot tonight. Paro, wake up. We’ve gone back to our old selves.
– Yes! (Laughs) Lokesh Ghartode.
– Hey lawyer! Where are you? Hey! Where are you? I think he has gone.
– How do you know? You don’t know anything.
– You don’t know anything. You know nothing.
– Don’t argue with me. God allowed me to enter heaven
after seeing you together. You look very happy
after meeting your wife. I got 99 couples divorced
and earned a lot of money. But I never felt so happy before. You’re right. I would request everybody
not to get divorced. Thank you. When you grow up you’ll be a lawyer. What’s this sir? You couldn’t get madam and sir divorced. At least help me get divorce. What’s going on? I’m not yet divorced
and you want to stay with me. I can’t do it, sir. Suchi, with whom are you talking? There’s this huge person sitting here.
Can’t you see him? Who is it? The lawyer who was after you.
Jamkar Tode. You promised to get me divorced
and so I found a new groom for myself. He wants to marry me. Maid, be like them. Don’t think of divorce. I had expired tablets and I expired. Who will fight my case? To which lawyer should I go? It’s not necessary that the second wife
after divorce will be a good one. Learn to be happy with the first one. Sir, I don’t want to hear anything.
I know.. Don’t fight like her. Love each other.
– Love each other.