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If “Real People” Commercials Were Real Life – Chevy Dependability Award

Guys, we’re walking on the freeway. Wow
Thank You Captain Obvious, what was your first clue – Sergeant Self-Explanatory?
General Unmistakable, Colonel Clear-as-Day Grab a seat, nice to meet you. My Gawd, you guys took your
middle-of-the-road advertising literally to the middle of the road. Hey where’s my
seat, oh very funny ha ha, the kill Mahk gag. I get it yet. Yeah. Have you
ever had car trouble in a place like this? Yeah, in a Chevy am i right guys? Did
you guys really block an entire freeway to make this commercial? Chevy doing what
they do best, causing traffic jams. I don’t know what
to do, I feel helpless, just call AAA. When I get into my car I wanna know
it’s gonna get me from point A to point B. So dependability ranks pretty high. No
Potsch, people wanna buy a car that doesn’t work. When I put dependability and quality
together, I buy something I want it to work properly.
Wait, so you don’t buy something hoping it breaks down immediately? Wow what a
novel concept, okay I’m gonna go walk in traffic now. One car company has earned
JD power dependability awards for cars trucks and SUVs. What’s a dependability
award? you wanna take a guess what company you
think that is? So I just looked it up and the dependability awards are based on
the 2014 models -jerk off!- when they gave away 18 of them, so you guys got 3 out of 18,
you’re basically batting like a .167, you’re like the Mario Mendoza of car companies. Not
only that, but you guys only ranked high in the features and accessories category,
that’s like the windshield wipers. Yup, Chevy’s the only brand to earn
dependability awards for cars trucks and suv’s, yeah but on the engine and
transmission part of it you guys only got a three out of five, but hey I guess the
windshield wipers will work while you’re waiting on the tow truck. Do you?
You’ve been standing in traffic for 30 minutes you’d feel safe in a Fiat right
now. That’s funny, the only way to make getting in a Chevy look like a good idea
is to make the alternative standing outside on the freeway. Late again! Hope I
don’t get fucking fired! thanks Chevy! Hey Potsch watch out! Come on, if he dies,
I die


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