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Gutfeld on the host-less Oscars


♪ ♪ [LAUGHTER]>>Greg: SINCE KEVIN HART BAILED FROM THE OSCARS, THE AWARDS SHOW WAS EXPERTLY SEEKING NEW OPTIONS INCLUDING GOING WITHOUT A HOST AT ALL. THINK ABOUT IT. THE OSCARS LOOKED AROUND AT ALL THE POSSIBILITIES IN THEIR OWN MORALLY PURE INDUSTRY DECIDED YOU KNOW WHAT. IT’S NOT WORTH IT. WE ARE ALL JERKS, CLOWNS, SINNERS, BIGOTS AND PIGS. OF COURSE WE ARE PETRIFIED OF THE MOB, MEANING THEY ARE ACTUALLY HUMAN. JUST AS EVERY HUMAN HAS A SKILL OR TALENT, WE ALL HAVE A PAST OR A LIFE. ONE WORTH MORE THAN A TWEET. BUT FOR SOME, A SIMPLE DIGNIFIED APOLOGY WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH. THE MORAL MAJORITY IS NOW THE MOB MORALITY AND FORGIVENESS IS VIEWED AS AN ACCESSORY TO EVIL. AND THE OSCARS IS RESPONDING THE WAY EVERYONE DOES NOW, TO BE SO GUN SHY ABOUT THAT SOCIAL MEDIA FALLOUT THAT THEY JUST GIVE UP AND GIVING. NO ONE WANTS TO SHARE THE RISK. SO NOTHING TOO EDGY AND HUMANS ARE JUST THAT IN THE FACE OF UNFORGIVING HORDES. AFTER DECADES OF FILLING THE HOSTING POSITION, HUMANS NEED NOT APPLY. SO THEN HOW ABOUT THE CHESS PLAYING COMPUTER? IT’S COLD, FACELESS AND NEVER TOLD A JOKE OFFENSIVE OR OTHERWISE EVER, MUCH LIKE SETH MEYERS. OR HOW ABOUT A DRONE, SIGNIFICANT DROP IN CRUDE JOKE FROM ON HIGH AND THEN COMPLETELY DISAPPEAR? LIKE MICHELLE WOLF. HOWEVER THEY PICK, THEY WILL BE HOSTING THE SHOW FROM UNDER A ROCK OR UNDER THE ROCK. UNLESS THEY FIND SOMEONE WITH GUTS WHO’S NOT AFRAID. WHO COULD THAT BE? THAT’S MY CHOICE.>>Dana: I WILL TAKE THE RISK.>>Greg: I WILL TAKE THE RISK. PEOPLE DON’T WANT TO TAKE THE RISK. EVEN THE OSCARS TO ME IS LIKE ANY BUSINESS, THEY ARE LIKE WE DON’T WANT ANY TROUBLE. THEY STEP AWAY AND THEN THEY JUST KIND OF –>>Dana: TALK ABOUT PICKING UP YOUR BALL AND GOING HOME. THAT WOULD MEAN WE WOULDN’T HAVE TO DO A SHOW ABOUT THE OSCARS TO TALK ABOUT MOVIES WE HAVEN’T WATCHED RATES FOR WORK THAT’S TRUE. WHENEVER WE DO A SEGMENT, WE PRETEND WE HAVE — WE DON’T PRETEND.>>Dana: WEEKS AGO JOY BEHAR WAS FRUSTRATED WITH THE COUNTRY MUSIC AWARDS BECAUSE THEY DIDN’T MAKE IT POLITICAL. YOU CAN’T SAY ANYTHING OFFENSIVE. YOU CAN SEE SOMETHING POLITICAL AS LONG AS IT’S OFFENSIVE TO HALF THE COUNTRY.>>Greg: EXACTLY. THAT’S THE POINT I SHOULD’VE PUT IN THE MONOLOGUE.>>Jesse: THAT WAS A GOOD MONOLOGUE. YOU SHOULD TAKE MARTY’S OFF TO REFRESH YOURSELF. COMING OFF — THIS ONE IS REALLY GOOD. PEOPLE IN FILM AND ART IN HOLLYWOOD, THESE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE THE CREATIVE PEOPLE WITH EXPRESSION AND NOT AFRAID TO TAKE RISKS. THEY ARE THE MOST UPTIGHT SQUARES EVER. THEY RUINED INTO THE OSCARS. THEY DID THE SAME THING WITH THE WHITE HOUSE CORRESPONDENTS’ DINNER. IT GOT TOO EDGY FOR THEM. THEY BLEW IT, AND NOW THERE’S A HISTORIAN UP THERE INSTEAD OF A COMEDIAN. POLITICAL CORRECTNESS IS LITERALLY RUINING COMEDY. HAS ANYONE EVER SAID THAT BEFORE?>>Greg: I THINK YOU JUST COINED IT. MORGAN.>>Morgan: I AM GLAD YOU REMEMBERED MY NAME.>>Greg: I LOOKED DOWN. I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH NAMES ON LIVE TELEVISION.>>Morgan: I AM ON YOUR SHOW A LOT.>>Greg: AND I HAVE A SHRINE IN MY OFFICE.>>Morgan: I WAS ON YOUR SHOW. THE LADY AT THE OTHER END OF THE CAMERA. [LAUGHTER]>>Greg: BUT YOU’RE ALSO ON ON “SPECIAL REPORT” TOO. PIXAR, HOLOGRAM, THE WHOLE THING. CREATE A HOST.>>Morgan: I DON’T CARE ABOUT THE OSCARS. I WANT THE OSCARS TO CONTINUE BECAUSE I LOVE THE FASHION SEGMENT. I WATCH THE OSCARS BECAUSE I AM SO GIRLY. I LOVE SEEING THE WOMEN COMING OUT IN GALLONS. I LOVE THE EARRINGS IN THE FASHION AND THE HAIR.>>Greg: WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE GIRLS?>>Morgan: I AM SAYING THAT I LIKE WATCHING THE GIRLS.>>Greg: WHY CAN’T MEN WEAR THE DRESSES? WHY ARE YOU SO CIS NORMATIVE?>>Morgan: I DON’T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.>>Greg: WHAT BOTHERS ME IS THAT WE ARE WITNESSING THE DEATH OF FORGIVENESS. YESTERDAY YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT THE HEISMAN TROPHY WINNER. KEVIN HART. HE ALREADY APOLOGIZED AND THEN HAD TO APOLOGIZE AGAIN. WHERE ARE THE COMEDIANS?>>Juan: YOU SAID KEVIN HART BAILED. I DON’T THINK HE BAILED ON THEM. I THINK THEY WERE VERY RELUCTANT TO DEFEND KEVIN HART. IT’S NOT GOING TO FEED THE SOCIAL MEDIA FRENZY.>>Greg: BUT HE APOLOGIZED AGAIN.>>Juan: I THINK IT WAS SINCERE IN THE SENSE THAT HE SAID HE EVOLVED. LOTS OF PEOPLE HAVE EVOLVED ON THIS QUESTION. SO WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL HERE? BUT THE WAY THE TWITTER SOCIAL MEDIA UNIVERSE WORKS IS IT’S AN ENDING AND IT IS UNFORGIVING. BUT I WILL SAY IN RESPONSE TO YOUR IDEA THAT WE GIVE MAX HEADROOM THE JOB –>>Greg: WOULD THAT BE THE HIGHEST RATED EVER?>>Juan: IT WOULD BE. YOU WOULD HAVE TO HAVE A COMPUTER GRAPHIC. I SUSPECT, HAVE THE PERSON DRESSED IN UNUSUAL WAYS AND SAY EDGY THINGS. WE COULD GO BACK TO LIKE REDD FOXX AND WHO IS THAT GREAT COMEDIAN? MITCH. WE WERE AT THE REAGAN LIBRARY THE OTHER DAY, OUR FRIEND BRET BAIER AND CHRIS WALLACE AND I. THEY HAVE NOW REAGAN AS A HOLOGRAM. LIKE MICHAEL JACKSON. THEY HAVE REAGAN AS A HOLOGRAM.>>Morgan: WHAT ABOUT HOWARD STERN?>>Greg: THAT WOULD BE FUN.>>Jesse: NEVER SURVIVE.>>Morgan: I LISTEN TO HIS RADIO SHOW ALL THE TIME.>>Juan: I THOUGHT YOU WERE SO GIRLY A MINUTE TO GO.>>Morgan: I AM. I LIKE THE FASHION.>>Juan: LISTENING TO HOWARD STERN?>>Morgan: YOU CAN BE FEMININE AND STILL LIKE HOWARD STERN.>>Juan: FOR A WOMAN TO HEAR THIS KIND OF TALK.>>Dana: SHE HAS A WIDE RANGE OF INTERESTS.>>Morgan: I HAVE HEARD SAILORS SAY A LOT WORSE.>>Greg: I THINK WE NEED TO BRING FORGIVENESS BACK.>>Dana: MY POINT WAS THREE WEEKS AGO WE HAD DAN CRENSHAW ON “SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE” AND EVERYONE SAID THAT’S THE MODEL FOR HOW WE SHOULD HANDLE IT.>>Juan: TODAY THERE WAS A CASE IN TEXAS. A GUY ATTACKED A WOMAN AND THEN THE JUDGE SAYS 400 BUCKS AND SOME COMMUNITY SERVICE. THAT’S OUTRAGEOUS. I DON’T THINK I AM A HARD MAN BUT GOODNESS GRACIOUS.>>Dana: WE ARE NOT TALKING ABOUT THE SAME THING. HE WAS ACCUSED OF A CRIME.

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