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ENTERTAINMENT 1×05 – Porno


There we go. It’s recording already. David, I’m actually fed up with the cameras. Was it necessary also here at home when I’m sick? I don’t know. The guys say it is, so… They placed a camera in every room of the office. Ok. Well, only so you know, we’re spending way too much in hard drives. By the way, start working. Even though I’m not there, you all have tasks to do. Tell everyone what they have to do. This is very important: at 11 AM the messenger will come with a certified package. You take it and put it in my office, ok? Don’t leave it in the entrance. You take it and put it next to my computer, ok? So nobody can take it. Yeah, for Christ sake. Take the package and leave it in your table, right? I’m not so stupid. I just don’t trust you guys, that’s all. So, what’s in that package? It’s the “Carmona ad” contract. The clauses they put were super abusive. They took us for retards, so I’ll talk with them tomorrow to modify it. Ok. So, Tere, we will just start working here. But be serious. Sure. You just take some rest. Bye, I love you. Me too. But do something, David, there’s a lot of work to do. There’s the ad, the posters… Yeah, Tere, we’re professionals. Bye. Let’s see guys, only because Tere is not here today doesn’t mean that we’re having a party or anything. So, last game and we start working. Wait, wait. Best of three. No. Best of five, five. Check out guys, I’m talking to “Carliche”. If you want to buy weed tell me now. Leave that. Give a kiss to Juan Imedio. There, in the moustache. No. Dude, it’s recording. Go. Damn… There. There you go. And now you kiss… Shit! Shit, “el Postilla”! You’re so big, so big. Don’t fall asleep on me now. One second, take a picture with me. No. No? This guy…Dude! You’re my favorite character from the show. Look, when I’m with my buddies I imitate you. I do…”The Romanian ones. The Romanian ones”. I just have a little cold now, so… You’re my idol. Yeah, but who? Who? Who what? Who am I or…? No, no, no. Who asked you? Shit… burn, right? Such an authentic guy. What’s up guys. “Carliche”. Here I have yours. You could buy a backpack or something. You think this is nasty? Little bit. Well, I don’t know where you think that hash you smoke comes out from. Eva, here. “Antoñito”. Just one thing, I don’t have money here right now, but you note it for the next time. I have to pay the rent and… Dude, for real? You owe me 80 bucks already. I’ll give it to you. Hey, where’s Tere? Didn’t she come? No, man, she’s sick. She’s at home. First time in three years that she’s not here. Figure that. Well, this is just fucking A, cause I was giving a lot of thought about how to convince her about some issue that was proposed to me last weekend that could make us earn a lot of money. That sounds middling. No, wait, wait. Last weekend I was with a friend and she’s a porn actress. So she introduced me to some people of the business. She introduced me to -check this out- “Ricardo Nardo”. Don’t you remember Ricardo Nardo? Yes, I do. He overacts. Well, the thing is that they’re very interested in doing a porn version out of Malviviendo, which would be “Malfollando”. Carlos, really? Malfollando? (Bad Fucking) What do you mean a porn version? With the same characters from Malviviendo? Sure. Just the same like some of these famous movies that get their own porn version. Like “V from Vagina”, “Penetrator”, “Penetrator 2”, “Pulp Friction”… Actually…no, no. Actually, you should be honored that they want to make a porn version. Fine, but well… I don’t know Carlos. Honestly… Look, I call him and we have a meeting. If we like it, we do it. If not, we don’t. And that’s it. It’s a lot of money, David, a lot of money. I’m gonna call them. -Listen…-I’m calling them -Carlos!-I’m fucking calling them! Hey, “el Postilla” is very authentic, huh? More street-smart, more savage. I mean, you’re also cool, but more normal, more…actors. Yeah, Carlos is the most “real” one of us all. Well, that may be you, who have a more quiet life. But I’m still authentic and savage as any other. Yeah, but not like him. He’s at another level. He’s more pure. Carliche is more real than you, Antonio, and you know it. He’s more than you, that’s for sure. Sure, he’s Carliche. Too real, too real. The motherfucker. Alright guys, confirmed. In half an hour we’re meeting down there, what do you say? Shall we all go? I’m absolutely going. Sure, you come. I’m in. You just shut the fuck up already. Shut up already, please. Hi there! Welcome to “Santi-cam”. I know many of you think that sound department is dull, but… I also do magic! I have this knife and this cat, and now what we’re doing… Santi, we’re going out. You stay with Eva. Don’t do any fuck up or anything that could… compromise the… company. What are you doing, man? Nothing. See you later, ok? Ok…fine. Oscar, the door bell. Come in. No, seal ring. Seal ring? Tomás! I don’t exist. Eva! She needs a seal ring. Somebody with responsibility… Why Eva? I don’t know. Maybe because they need someone responsible to sign? Precisely. I’m the older one. Listen, never mind. It’s just a seal ring. No, I mind, I mind. I am partner before you were. I’m here since we didn’t have anything. Since the “40 €”. Am I right? I don’t give a shit, Santi. No, you do give a shit and you know it. I’m in a hurry. Ok? Later. Oscar, take those hard drives. We’re relocating them. No, no, no. Oscar, there’re more important things to do, so you’re coming with me. Let’s see. The thing is that we wanna do a web porn version from Malviviendo. With top actors, important people from porn industry. With all due respect for your work, obviously. Of course. We will discuss everything with you so there’s no problem. But a porn version, how? The story… I was thinking about it this morning. In the sensual hood of “Los Pajilleros”, we will learn about “El Negrote”, huh? A “cappie” who works at a manege (Note: a place where couples go with their cars to have sex) And he sneaks inside the cars of the hot knacker girls. But this one will be real black. It’s the afro-almeriense actor Axel Congo. The main actor from “Blade X”. Really famous. Shit, Axel Congo! Don’t you know who he is? Brutal! And then we have, “The Ambidextrous”, a low class man whore. The “Putilla”, which could be… Nymphomaniac and epileptic. There you have it. And of course, “The Kuki”, the biggest slut in the hood. All of them survive, fucking as much as they can. We want to do something classic. Something like: “hair-pussy”, interracial, “big ebony”, ass-to-mouth… and perhaps finishing with the usual bukake. Actually it’s a pretty funny idea, but we… we’ve already rejected some proposals because we don’t want to corrupt the spirit of the series… David, man, give it a thought. It’s a fucking great idea and a whole lot of money as well. What’s your interest…? The paper… Big money. What did I tell you? Porn is money. Porn is money! Well, ok, but… how would it be? A movie or a series? So, Oscar, you seem to be in the middle of a war. Go on, tell me what you did today. I swept and scrubbed the floor of the sound room, I fixed a broken plug there in post-production and I organized the hard drives. And now here I am cleaning the glasses. Oscar. Oscar, now when you’re finished there you… now when you… you do… You do a list of the things that you like most about me and least about that cunt. Diffferent Entertainment. Hello? Yeah? Yeah, it’s me, Teresa Segura. I’m David Sainz, the director. Wait a sec, I just arrived and I need a pen, so I can take notes. What are you doing, dude? I’m partner since… Do push-ups until I tell you to stop. Really? Goddamn… Yeah, bye. Eva, who was that? Eva. Who called? What did they want? Tell me. Eva I’m entitled to know. I’m a founding partner, tell me what they wanted. At least you could tell me who called and what did they want. Wait, wait, I didn’t finish reading. This is fucking awesome! It’s from Carmona city-hall. They want us to make two ads. Shit…that could save the company! Are you thinking the same as I do? Sure thing. We need to call Tere now. No, we’re not calling Tere. We’re making this decision, that’s why we’re responsible, am I right? But we’ll have to falsify her signature. Then I’ll do it on my own. No, no, ok. We’re doing this together, and we both take this point. Fine, ok. Dude, where you goin’? Sorry… I thought…that… You trippin’… I had to quit porn because muscle isn’t fashionable anymore. Now the thing is flexibility. He’s still good, though. Well, I think that the internet is turning us all into perverts. I mean, before you would jerk off to any bikini magazine, but now you search for videos, categories…it just keeps getting more complicated. Internet evolved just like everything else. It’s quite easy to stay behind if you stick to the classic thing. Remember Sweet Dolores. Do you remember Sweet Dolores? She was the one that used to say: “I don’t like you,papi, but I’ll blow you”. She was left behind. She used to say that never in the ass… I want to play “el Postilla” in your porn version. I want to. What are you saying, Carliche? Yeah man, I’m an actor, and since we finished the series I don’t have a thing. You guys have your business, and I’m ready to take this leap. I want to. I want to. You know what? It’s fucking A for us. Wonderful. You have an intense look in your eyes. I can see it. Well, now that you mention, it would also feel good for me. I also want to be the porn “Zurdo”. Why the hell not? I can see it. I don’t think so… Why not? Why, asshole? Here, take the camera. You do the shooting. Wait a sec. Carliche is fine, cause he’s Carliche, but you… Again with that? I fuck more and better than this midget. You’re tripping. You know it. It’s not that, man. It’s that with the cameras… your image would go down the toilet. I disagree with you. It could be the final leap that would make him famous. Listen, let the cocks talk. Out. Now. Let’s go. What do you mean right now…? C’mon. What’s the problem? Take the fucking cocks out your trousers. Look! It’s just that I had a boner for a while already. Son of a bitch. This kid has a future. Yeah! Hey, it’s quite good, huh? Mid-size, calamine pink… a little bit leaning to the left, but it’s ok. That’s cool. I like imperfections. Bizarre. Be proud of yourself. One hell of a cock. You know what? I’ll write your contract tomorrow first thing in the morning. Well and the salary, how does that go? How much do we get paid? Well, the usual. Look. No, no, no. Don’t write no more papers. There’s no need. How much? Let’s see. 1.500 € per sequence, plus copyright and promotion. You just need to think that you’re beginning so it’s a beginner’s price. As we make more movies together you’ll get more money. Depending on your caché. But that’s what you get for starters. Bit by bit. Antonio, what’s wrong? “Antoñito”. Nothing. The cameras, my friends here looking… What do you think a porn movie is? You think that you’ll be fucking the chick alone in a room? Give the kid a little help. A little trick. Little trick, Antonio. Don’t be so aggressive, my son. Start by fondling it. It’s your working tool, so take care of it. You first fondle it. Fondle it. Spit. Spit. Good. And now, with your finger, the other hand, there, in your scrotum There we go. In the scrotum. Like that. No, no. In circles first. First you open, there you go. Yeah,papi, yeah. God, you’re turning me on so bad. I’m all wet, my pussy is gushing. Yeah…! No, man. No. Javi, man… But keep your hands on your cock, cause if you release it you’re wasting previous work. Grab my nipple. Pinch it. No way. While I am… Are you seriously…? Pinch my fucking nipple! Hard. Harder, Javi. I’m pinching hard. Is this as hard as you can? Harder Dude, that’s it. Please, do you see yourself? You’re pitiful. Don’t worry, wait. Do the hair thing! Check it, this always work, ok? You just close your eyes and caress my hair. No, don’t worry man. It’s not working. As if I was blowing you. It’s alright. Easy. Enough is enough. Where you going? I’m leaving. Don’t be embarrassed. Antonio, don’t worry. First time is always like this. Let it be. We can still use him, he’s quite a good looking boy. I don’t know what we’re going to do about him… He could be the guy who jerks off behind the door. The usual guy behind the door. Eva, is this serious? It seems as if somebody chopped off your arms and you were learning to write with your feet or something. Fuck off. Oscar send it. Ok. Sending. Processing. Shut up. Well, you realize we saved the company, right? And David was like, “don’t fuck up”, “don’t do anything that would compromise the company”. Here you have it! Hey, no, no, no. Don’t touch me. Fine, fine, fine. Wow, this is like getting high. We should celebrate it. I’m setting up a fucking party here. You’re an asshole, Santi. Hey, I’ve been here since the “40 €”, ok? And if I want to set up a party in the office I set it up. Plus, I already made an event on Facebook, 20 people are coming. If Teresa finds out… She won’t! She’s not invited. Guys, guys…listen. I’m the scholar, maybe I don’t get it, but that stuff over there is not normal. I think it’s abusive. Holy shit… Holy shit! Didn’t you read it? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, that’s Tere… it’s Tere who already found out about the email we just sent. Answer the phone. Bullshit! You answer it, you’re the responsible. I’m not answering it. You’ve been here since the “40 €”. Eva, don’t bust my balls. I’ll try cancel the event. Hello? Diffferent Entr… En… The guys from Malviviendo. Hi, I’m Teresa Segura. Who am I talking to? With me. With me, gorgeous! Who are you? Yeah, hello? Tere? David, who the fuck was that? A…a friend with Carliche. He’s…he’s… he’s an asshole. How are you? A bit better. Listen one thing. I saw about the Carmona contract, that you sent it via mail. Didn’t I tell you not to do it? Yeah, yeah… Javi and I went out to shoot and when we came back… Santi and Eva told us that Oscar did a big fuck up. Really big fuck up. Listen David, tomorrow meeting first thing in the morning, ok? I can’t even be missing for one fucking day! Well Tere, we didn’t burn anything up. We’ve recorded many delayed stuff, we’ve been working all day, the office has been quiet… Besides that fuck up, well… It’s clear that you don’t understand how big this fuck up is. You tell everybody about tomorrow’s meeting. See you later, ok? Ok then, see you later. Love you. Love you? Love you… Guys, tomorrow we have a meeting, ok? I’m not doing that! Guys, this scene is the season finale. Remember it, so focus. We’re shooting with three cameras and with Axel’s GoPro. Alright? Focus. Don’t look right into his dick. Ok? Projection. Let the dialogue be comprehensible. Mid-volume wailing. Let me hear the guys. And please, in the end, the three of you cum in her face. Synchronize. Don’t you even think about coming first, ok? Um…but is it on? Shit, Axel. Yeah, it’s recording already, ok? Director, one thing. I would like to play my character and give him a little bit more depressive look. I think that he is realizing that this is not his place in the world, and I would like to play him like that. Ok, as you please. But the important thing here is that you cum in her face in the end. Alright? Let’s go. Set! So, what do you think about this madness? It’s actually pretty cool, man. I didn’t expect it would smell so hard but… It’s the smell of money, David. Ok. Your dressing gown. And…action! Suck it. Suck it. Look, look, look, look. Samantha López, man, the way she works. Amazing. It’s the best porn actress right now. She’s actually handicapped, you know? Really? She can last for hours and hours and hours. Indeed. Plus, it’s really good for us, since we get subsidy for that. I had a terrific idea this morning. “Obra 69”. You’re gonna love it.

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