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DragonBall Z Abridged MOVIE: Super Android 13 – TeamFourStar (TFS)


ANDROID 17 [off-screen]: “-Folks I’m Android 13, look at mah trucker hat!” GERO: I was going through a phase! ANDROID 18 [o-s]: Well, let’s say we open them up and get to know our new friend? GERO: Don’t you dare! I am your master and you will do what I say! 17: I- I’m sorry, could you repeat that? I think the ear thing’s back. GERO: I said, I am your master! And you will do what I- 17: Sorry, doc… GERO: GUUAAGGH…! 17: …just following orders. GERO: So… …could one of you possibly spare one of those Senzu- KRILLIN [o-s]: So, does this mean they’re on our side? TRUNKS [o-s]: YAAAAAGH! [Explosion in background] GERO: Well, guess it’s a good thing I backed myself up into this supercomputer. Have to thank Wheelo for that. Now, what to do with the twins going rogue… How is progress with plan B? [weird noise] That’s another seventeen years out at least. [sigh] Well, guess it’s time for plan C… CHI-CHI: Touch those Thai silk curtains and I’ll turn one of those hoop earrings into a septum ring! GOHAN: Wow. Mom sure is set on filling up Korin and Yajirobe’s wedding registry. GOKU: But why do they need six crock pots? And why all these (delicious-looking) bath bombs? I don’t even think they have a bathroom! Korin always just told me to go over the side. [Explosion and screams] ???: Excuse me, pardon me, coming through, watch the suit. Man, everyone acting a fool… Like they’ve never seen a purple dwarf before. *static* ???: I know, right?! Racist as shit. GOKU [mouth full]: Man, shopping makes me hungry! GOHAN [deadpan]: Really, shopping makes you hungry? Only shopping? GOKU: Mmhmm. Speaking of, how’d your search go, guys? KRILLIN: Not great. Turns out Master Roshi is banned from over five hundred Victoria’s Secret locations. I don’t get it, how are you not on some kind of a list? “MASTER ROSHI”:You think “Master Roshi” is my real name? GOHAN: Doesn’t Victoria’s Secret specialize in *women’s* underwear? Why would Korin and Yajirobe- -Oh… -Oh…ooooooh. But which one wears them? ???: So whaddya think? *static* ???: Nah. But we can. GOHAN: Hey, so, not to point out the obvious, but, the restaurant is shaking. GOKU: Huh? Ehh… GOHAN: Aww, crapbask-
KRILLIN: Aww, crapbask-
TRUNKS: Aww, crapbask- CHI-CHI: Why can’t we go anywhere as a group without something blowing up? GOKU: Probably not my fault this time, maybe… Terrorists! Wait, I can’t sense them… Androids! Androiderists! Terroroids! Guys, we got a bad case of terroroids! GOHAN: C’mon, Mom! CHI-CHI: No! One of the crock pots! GOKU: So, you guys aren’t orgasmic… Who are you? Red Ribbon? I mean, you’ve got it on your red Red Ribbon ribbon… …but, you know what they say about assuming: It makes an ass out of you and ming. ???: Scan complete. This guy’s dumb as bricks. [Static] GOKU: Say wha..? ???: Oh right, your unrefined meatbag ears probably don’t understand him. He’s introducing himself as Android 14. I am Android 15. And you… And you…are Goku. GOKU: AAAAAHHHH! ANDROID 15: And now you’re dead! OK, *rude*! TRUNKS: Goku! Move! GOKU: Oh, right. TRUNKS: You know, maybe we shouldn’t do this here. GOKU: OOH! OOH! I know a place! GOHAN: Krillin, we should go after them! KRILLIN: Should we? GOHAN: Yes! KRILLIN: Okay, but MUST we? GOHAN: Well, you can come with me, or, you can stay here with my Mom. CHI-CHI: AAAAAAAAAGH! KRILLIN: We must! We must!
CHI-CHI: AAAAAAAAAGH! GERO: Update complete. Now activating number 13… ANDROID 13 [in a Deep South accent]: Mighty kind o’ you, Doctor. GERO: For crying out loud, we just finished patching that! 13: Doc, you can’t fix what ain’t broke! Now… Now…where’s Now…where’s my Now…where’s my trucker Now…where’s my trucker hat? [Banjo Version of “Imperial March” plays] TRUNKS: No offense Goku, but… …why the Arctic? GOKU: What? You’re fine, you’ve got a jacket. TRUNKS: Well yeah, but there are more deserts than we can count, and you chose the Arctic! GOKU: Uh, y-you got a jacket… 15: My database says: 15: My database says:
You’s a bitch! TRUNKS: I doubt that’s what it actually sa- TRUNKS: I doubt that’s what it actually sa-AGH! [grunting] GOKU: Trunks! Your jacket is weighing you down! Huh? Wah! [grunts] TRUNKS: Hey Goku, if and when we make it out of this, please don’t tell my father there were two more Androids. 13 [o-s]: Uh, to be fair, you’d’a been wrong anyway… 13 [o-s]: Uh, to be fair, you’d’a been wrong anyway…’cause there’s three! TRUNKS: Aaaauugh! 13: Howdy, there! I’m Android 13. Look at mah trucker hat. GOKU: Look-y Trunks! More ‘roids. TRUNKS: You’re kidding me! Are there any more of you that we don’t know about? 13: Nah, just us… …plus the green one in the sub-lab. TRUNKS: Enough! I have had it with these monkey-fighting Androids, In this Monday-to-Friday timeline! AAAUUGH! 13: Well son, looks like thirteen is your unlucky number. GOKU: I don’t believe in stuperstitions! 13 [incredulous]: …How in the blazes did Gero have so much trouble killing you? GOKU: I’m very stubborn. 13: Hmm. GOKU: Oh hey, he’s actually really strong. WAAAHHH! [Underwater] WAAAHHHHH 13: Careful, son! You might catch a death of cold! GOKU: Catch *this* cold! 13: My trucker hat! Ya plum done gone daggone did it now, son. GOKU: Who and the wha- AAAAAHHHH! (Ah.) (Hope Trunks is having better luck.) TRUNKS: HI-YAH! Aw, why did I even bring this?! (Wait, why DID I bring this?) (We were shopping before-) Augh! 15: A’ight 14, give it back. TRUNKS: [Startled squeal] 13: Hmm. YAH! Ya can’t dodge my T.H. Deathbomb! GOKU: Does the “T.H.” stand for- 13: TRUCKER HAT, yes! GOKU: Not my first guess. WAUGH! GERO: Yes! YES! This is my moment! Oh, what now!? Wuh? AWAKENED EVIL: For thousands of years, I laid dormant! WHO HAS DISTURBED MY- GOKU: Hey, best buddy! VEGETA: Oh, it’s you. Explain, idiot. TRUNKS: No no NO! GOKU: We found three more Androids. TRUNKS: Da-a-mmit! VEGETA: Three whole Androids, huh? Pretty sure that makes *eight*. Hmm, never letting the boy live this one down. 13: Well, if it ain’t the Prince! Good day, your Majesty! I’d tip my hat to ya, BUT I LOST IT! VEGETA: Look, I’m a little late to the game here, what’s your deal? 13: See here, The kind Dr. Gero deemed us, in his own words, “Defective.” Leaving us on the proverbial shelf until, well… …he gone plum run outta options. GOKU: So, what’s your detective? 13: He could not quite tolerate my dulcet tones, 13: He could not quite tolerate my dulcet tones, my choice in vernacular, 13: He could not quite tolerate my dulcet tones, my choice in vernacular,
and my particular method of… 13: He could not quite tolerate my dulcet tones, my choice in vernacular,
and my particular method of…ar-ti-cu-lation. GOKU: Also, you talk funny. What ’bout him? [Static] VEGETA: Alright, but what about the small one? Is it ’cause he’s purple? 13: Okay, racist, if ya must know; it’s ’cause he’s got a drinking problem. 15 [o-s]: Hey, it’s only a problem when I run out! 13: We don’t like to talk about it. Now! I believe we have some business to attend to! Id Est, layin’ three corpses upon this here glacier. 14! 15! 15: You got it, boss man! You forget you saw this. 13: Round two, Fleshlights™! TRUNKS: [Grunts] KRILLIN: So, we just needed to be here didn’t we? GOHAN: Yeah, OK… KRILLIN: Couldn’t even stop for a jacket! Just had to *beeline* it for the Arctic. GOHAN: OK, Krillin, I get it! We’re not helping. I just… …needed some space from my Mom. KRILLIN: Eh, it’s all right. Wanna have a snowball fight? GOHAN: Probably not a good time… KRILLIN: No, no, you-you’re right. VEGETA: AAAaaahhhh! Ooophh! HEY! WANNA SEE SOMETHING COOL?! 15: Yeah, OK. VEGETA: YEEAAAAAAUUUUGHH…. …YAAAAAAAUUUUGH! TRUNKS: (Oh right.) (Super Saiyan.) AAAAAAUUUUUGH! GOKU: Oh, right… Super Saiyan. GAAAAAUUGH! GERO: Oh shit… GERO: Oh shit…Super Saiyan. GAAAAAAAHHH! GOHAN: Uh, why did it take them so long to do that? KRILLIN: You know, I stopped asking that question a long time ago. VEGETA: So, are you ready to die, Android? Are- Are you- Does that even do anything for you? 15: Not anymore… Oh, God! KRILLIN: That’s right Goku, send him back to Arkansas! 13 [o-s]: It’s pronounced “Ar-kansas”, ya idjit. GOHAN: And consider my pet peeved! GOHAN: Piccolo, help! Holy cow, that worked! 2ND AWAKENED EVIL: For thousands of years, I laid dormant! Who has disturbed my- PICCOLO: Oh hey, Goku, what’s up? GOKU: Androids. PICCOLO: Neat! Mind if I take a spin? 13: Ah Ah AH HOO HOOOOO! GOKU: Ah, ’cause you spun him around. 13 [o-s]: Ow! GOKU: Clever. PICCOLO: Thanks, I was practicing that one under the ice for the last half- You know what, never mind. 13: Now, I don’t mean to make this about your color or your race, but you’d better hightail it out of here before you get hurt, BOY. PICCOLO: You know, it feels like it’s about *both* those things when you end it with the word “boy”. 15: C’mon short-stack. That the best you got? Ha haa! Super Saiyan or not, you’re still just a- Bitch! Did you just throw a mothaf***in DO- [static] VEGETA: Looks like the countdown’s just about over you redneck… uhhh… TRUNKS: Hey guys! I did that thing again where I slice my opponent in two and they don’t react until- VEGETA: I did it first, you’re not special! TRUNKS [o-s]: B-but you don’t even have a sword… 13: 14 and 15 have been destroyed?! Goooood! PICCOLO: I feel like we should be stopping this. GOKU: Nah, I want a good fight! KRILLIN: He’s ‘roiding out! GERO [o-s]: Excellent. Android 13 has reached his ultimate, final, pinnacle form! Unstoppable! Blue! And completely taciturn. SUPER ANDROID 13: Hurrrgh! GERO [o-s]: Perfect! GOKU: Vegeta, he stole your ‘do! VEGETA: I’ll kill him! Ah! Oh no… [screaming] TRUNKS: I got you fath-AAHH! VEGETA: Hahahahahahaha. [grunt] Idiot. Someone stupid get in my way! KRILLIN: What the–? KAMI AND NAIL: BOOM-CHIKA-AH BOOM-CHICKA-AH BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM GREEN D- PICCOLO: (What are you doing?) KAMI: (We’re trying to amp you up!) PICCOLO: (Well, it’s distracting!) ALL: (Oh shit mothaf*cka!) GOKU: My turn! GERO: Weakness… identified! 13: Hurrgh! GOKU: Hey, what are ya- -AGH!! [fading echo] [Several years later…] GOHAN: All right, Goten, it’s your job to chuck these as hard as you can so I can be all trained up to face off against Dad in the tournament! Now stand behind that line and- Goten? (What was I doing here?) […back to the present] GOKU: AAAAAAAAUGH- [faint screeching] [high pitched] He punched me in the dick! Why?! Why did he punch me in the dick?! VEGETA [snarky]: Not so funny now, is it, Kakarot? KRILLIN: Is Goku gonna be okay? VEGETA: Get the f*** off me! GOKU: N-now I know what you’re thinki- AUUUGH! [grunting] And the answer may surpri- (Aw man…) EEEEEEE! GOHAN: Hey! Why don’t you pick on someone your own size? Ehhh… well, clearly not me. (Welp, if you can’t beat ’em…) (Bomb ’em.) Eh, maybe one of those battleball players? I mean, not that I watch sports, I have
better things to do with my life. I feel like this is a one-sided conversation. [growling] GERO [o-s]: 13, if you’d kindly turn around ,and eliminate Son Goku… [growling] 13: RRRAUGH! GOHAN: Dad, no! BBLUUAUUGH! GOKU: Good job, son! GERO [o-s]: Hmm, unexpected, but not altogether unpleasant. Let’s try again shall w-? GOKU: Ow! VEGETA: Nobody is killing that idiot but me! GOKU [o-s]: Aw, you *do* care. GERO [o-s]: Agh, fine, finish off Vegeta, Then Son Goku. [Squeak] [Vegeta screaming] NARRATOR: And that’s when the Prince realized that when you grab a bull by the horns, sometimes, he’ll take you for a ride. {THWACK}
[Vegeta screaming] GOKU: Keep it up guys! You’re doing great! [Vegeta screaming] GERO [o-s]: Yes, good, now hurry up and get back to So- Oh my non-existent God! TRUNKS: Hey! You big blue bastard! I’m a time traveler from 17 years in the future. And you don’t exist there. You know why? Well, besides multiverse theory, it’s because you die, right here, by my sword! NARRATOR: And that’s when the Time Traveler realized that his sword was about as useless… …as a screen door on a submarine. [Trunks screaming] [whistling Mahna Mahna] GERO [o-s]: Good! Great! Now stop playing around with the rabble and focus your efforts on killing So- GERO [o-s]: Good! Great! Now stop playing around with the rabble and focus your efforts on killing So–n of a whore! NARRATOR: And that’s when the Green Man realized that when you suplex a robot, you better… Oh, what the hell am I doing? *footsteps receding* SUPER ANDROID 13: BWUU YOO YOO YOO YOO YOO YOO YOO YOO RAWHARAA! (Credit goes to yushnizzo) KRILLIN: Oh right.. Spirit Saiyan… What? GERO [o-s]: Kill Son Goku! Kill Son Goku! Kill Son Goku before it’s too late! [Goku screaming] [Goku screaming] GERO [o-s]: Oh, this bodes poorly… Jesus Christ!!!!!!! NARRATOR: And that’s when the robot realized that he was as dead as a… Robot. Because robots are technically not alive by the traditional definition of- D’these people even give a damn anymore? [scoffs] I swear they stopped tryin’ after Season 2. [Goku screaming] [Super Android 13 screaming] [explosion] MASTER ROSHI: Heeellloooo nurse! KRILLIN: Man, catching Vegeta really f***ed my shit up! How about you, Goku? You seem fine. GOKU: Yup! Senzu beans healed my nuts up good! CHI-CHI: Thank God. KRILLIN: Hey hey, that’s great! So, you got any to share? GOKU: I kinda needed a few… TRUNKS: I’m glad you’re all fine, but it does concern me that there are apparently more Androids out there. KRILLIN: Actually, I had a thought about that. GERO: Well, that was a total bust. I suppose I’ll just continue nursing plan B. What’s another 17 years? I’m not going anywhere. [Krillin talking in distance] Wait, what is that noi- KRILLIN: Wow! Danger Will Robinson. GERO [o-s]: Oh, *no*…! *Violin outtro* *Now with banjo* PICCOLO: Is it over? VEGETA: Not ’til the fish jumps. [Piccolo clears his throat] [Vegeta clears his throat] PICCOLO: Soo… …what were you doing in the Arctic? VEGETA: What were YOU doing in the Arctic? PICCOLO: I don’t have a place to live, what’s your excuse? VEGETA: Look Green Man, if you must know, I was just trying to find a place where I can be alone for a little
bit and have some “me time.” Turns out, the Arctic wasn’t the best solution. PICCOLO: Yeah, it would, uh, seem that way. VEGETA: Yeah, yeah, it would. PICCOLO: So what do you do for fu-? FISH: FIN! PICCOLO: Oh, I get it. VEGETA: It’s ’cause he’s a fish. 13: Well now, that sure was a doozy of a movie. If y’all enjoyed, Maybe, consider likin’ and subscribin’ if you
want to watch something else by these folks. Check out their gaming channel or maybe
their Final Fantasy 7 Machinabridged. Or, if you’re interested in the voice of yours truly… [voice changes] You can check out my YouTube channel “ricepirate newgrounds”, or honestly just look up “ricepirate” it’s easier that way, or you can always
scream at my face over twitter @Ricepiratemick Hey, thanks for watching and be sure to click
around to get your fill of Team Four Star. I know I am. ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)

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