Cedric The Entertainer On Gays & Being in the Country

and the gay thing being to the gay thing had a big year war with the hold nominated movies Brokeback Mountain of it all it was it was a big thing you know there's anything about it just everywhere now I just gave little gay everywhere you know I was going through the airport my little gate agent he he didn't had no one he was just wanting me with his hand just like you ain't even got a wand all shut up troublemaker [Applause] thing is I understand man we live in a diverse society I understand it's gonna be gay people that's fine you know everybody you know that's okay be gay this it's okay but now they got issues that you know crossover where you gotta have a decision about it you know like gay marriage you know that might affect you inadvertently I mean you know if y'all won't be married that's fine that's liable you know with gay marriage mean it's gonna be gay wins what if some I asked you to be in a damn wedding huh yeah you thought about this you tease my little gay cousin asked me to be his you know like which one are you the bride or the groom so you asked me to be a bridesmaid that is inappropriate I do not want to walk down the aisle with no shirt on with my back out and the guy don't want to do that I don't want to wear open-toed sandals I don't want to do that [Applause] they got legislation they got legislation now you know little gay day you know make it an official holiday gay day where you get gay day off see that's hard because black people we usually take any damn day off don't let me young Kippur you are far off you off I'm off Cinco de Mayo you oh I'm uh maybe everybody but gay day that's the hard when explaining you come to work the next day all your boys looking at you like well she won't yesterday no I would see you would see me yesterday was gay dating in your hands nobody I pulled my hamstring they got scientists involved trying to prove it's a gay gene to make you gay leave that dog hey could be that what I say could be I don't know could be yeah I think about it a lot of gay people you used to be in like 72 73 it would want to gay people you know the Liberace and Little Richard we knew who they were you know that spring spring spring I'm just saying you guys think about it if it is a gay gene you know then it means of gauging and everything they reproduce section like humans so therefore is gay dogs out there you know somewhere in the jungle is the big ass gay lion nigga just a rah-rah [Applause] I will scratch her eyes out and clean up the chunk Oh rawr so we're in Australia is the gay kangaroo nigga just what is it my pockets what do I have in my pockets baby one [Applause] somewhere by Lake is a gay duck nigga athlet a black bitch I'm just saying the possibilities are endless I had to go do some visiting man and go visit some of my relatives down south not not down south the country yeah I know the difference then down south in the country the country is some other level of shit you know country when you driving down the highway and you get off that will you get on a road near you get off that and you get on the dirt road being your ass in the country in the country when it get dark and be dark I'm a grown man maybe like go outside get somebody to carve you like [Applause] you gotta brush your teeth now my lucky is down there with me they outside playing in the driveway they got on some of those shoes with the skates on the bottom make these don't work daddy I know they don't work on gravel dollar not the way to you get back homes for them they don't have a lot of modern amenities but I mean it's a little ridiculous I had one of my uncle's come past I'm I I'm about to run into town to get some things you need anything I'm like I'm good um you sure you don't need anything I'm like I'm okay all right I'll be back in about an hour ah you don't up there lightly is that um you yeah I had to catch dinner I had to catch a chicken y'all had to catch the chicken it's a hard ass shit right there that ain't like running by Popeyes give me a two-piece nigga that ain't chickens are hard to catch because chickens are suspicious by Nature you'll see a chicken walking chicken don't trust nobody [Applause] chicken be eating chicken never relax what you doing dog why are you walking over here what's going on why are you eating that grease up yeah I can't that chicken a chicken warm me up then I'll change that chicken chicken with Reggie Bush on my head I finally caught the chicken I had the chicken trapped in the corner that's evil like y'all wanna eat me dog I'm sick I got the bird bleep yeah you know going to pop I like come on we had to go to church meet you down there you know you gotta go to church meet you down there you gotta go down there to go a little bit of church be hot one way in one way out that's out you come in and be the minister he come on he never prepared he never quite prepared for services you know he got his Bible but he ain't never quite ready you know he's just good morning amen and good morning I [Applause] want to talk to you you like cold dawg I know the game on by now they'd be going there you got took some of my boys with me I had come my boy with me ain't been to church in so long they ain't got no kind of church etiquette you up in the church with people like that don't even know how to be a church I saw my boys with neon thingy meant Church so long they don't even know how to be a church they had a communion wine drinking like they was at a club and she's me anyway I'm telling this nigga Reggie about my money about six time right so they don't never call me back right so you want another one hey yo sure I let me get two wrong right here send a girl of an acquire one for me all right [Applause] like what is ain't no damn clue get your ass out of here got pulled over by the police when I was down there thought I was gonna use my little celebrity to get out the ticket I hopped out the ride officer officer I'm Cedric the Entertainer separate the entertainer I'm Jake the Highway Patrol man you wanna put your hands on your vehicle yeah out of nowhere officer Shack come up what's going on [Applause]


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